


In The Name Of Love

by Rroselavy



Category: Yugioh
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-01
Updated: 2010-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-05 14:30:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 74,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rroselavy/pseuds/Rroselavy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For eight years he has scrupulously avoided the brunet, but now with the impending marriage of their siblings, Jounouchi Katsuya and Kaiba Seto are forced to come to terms with the feelings they've secreted away since adolescence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In The Name Of Love

At age 25, Jounouchi Katsuya had the world by its balls.

He had everything his heart desired, a promising career in front of him, a cozy place of his own, a steady job, and a boyfriend he loved deeply. The world was his oyster, opened on a silver platter, waiting for him to reach out and take it. He was currently finishing his graduate studies, training as a clinical psychologist. His grades had put him at the top of his class, setting him up for the most prized internship, and on the fast track to licensing. His dissertation was almost complete; it would only be a matter of a few short months before he'd be Dr. Jounouchi.

He had long ago escaped the yoke of existence under his father's drunken thumb, and while Jou sometimes helped his father financially, he'd been able to avoid the confrontations that had scarred his adolescence. He had accepted his father's alcoholism and gambling addiction and inability to overcome them, and had come to terms with the fact that it was not his fault. Nor did he have anything to do with his parents' divorce. Those revelations had lifted a world of weight off Jou's shoulders, and freed him to consider his own needs and desires. He'd worked his ass off the last two years of high school, earning the scholarship that had gotten him into the undergraduate program in psychology at Domino University. When he'd graduated the psych program at the top of his class, he had been assured acceptance into the Clincal PhD program that he was currently finishing.

He stood waiting outside the emergency door bays of the University Hospital, a glance at his watch told him it was past 1:30 AM. Ryou was late, which wasn't unusual for an ER intern. What was unusual had been the phone call Jou had received from his boyfriend earlier that evening. Ryou never called him when he was on a shift unless it was something important.

"Sweetheart," Ryou had said softly, "I need to speak with you. Can you come meet me after work tonight?"

"Sure, hon, is everything okay?"

"Yes, we'll talk when I see you, Jou-chan."

"Okay babe, later. Love you."

"Love you too."

Jou's instincts told him something was amiss. But he was confident that as long as they were communicating, there was nothing they couldn't work out. He wondered with vague unease what could be disturbing his love. They were set to spend the day together tomorrow, their only shared day off in the coming week, he hoped that nothing had come up to interfere with their plans, his plans, for a romantic picnic at the park.

It still thrilled Jou to think of himself in love. Of being loved. It had happened so unexpectedly, so out of the blue. He'd resigned himself to the life of a monk, at least until he'd finished his studies. He convinced himself he didn't have time for a relationship. And then Ryou had come to him broken and hurt, seeking only his company, his solace. Ryou had finally found the courage to stand up to his then-boyfriend Malik's physical and emotional abuse and called it quits. He had run into Jou on campus that same evening and begged him to keep him safe from the rage that he'd left Malik in. From Jou's comfort and safety sprang a deeper friendship, and then the fragile beginnings of a relationship.

Because of their schedules, sometimes they went weeks only able to talk on the phone or grab a meal together, but still their relationship had blossomed. They had been more than pleasantly surprised at the chemistry that had pushed them together, delighted further in each other's level of trust and understanding.

Jou had weathered all of his friends' warnings that Ryou could not possibly be true. Honda had been vehemently against it, telling Jou in no uncertain terms that Ryou would break his heart. That he just wasn't right for Jou. That he loved Malik and Malik only. Anzu had cautioned Jou about getting involved in a rebound relationship, as those almost never lasted. Even Yugi had expressed trepidation at the match-up, could not see how Ryou's almost pathological need to be dominated could ever be assuaged by good-natured, loyal Jou.

Jou had stubbornly ignored them all, shrugged his shoulders and grit his teeth. It had hurt not to have their support, and for a brief time he'd thought bitterly that perhaps it was he who they thought was unworthy. He'd just as quickly pushed the destructive thoughts from his mind, and almost a year later he and Ryou were a couple with a capital 'C.'

Jou had come straight from the restaurant he'd worked at since high school. He'd started there first busing tables, then became a kitchen assistant, before apprenticing as a chef. He had excellent knife skills, and was pleased to have found a better, if not more lucrative use for them than in his former life as a gang enforcer. He was still wearing his chef pants and clogs as he waited patiently for his white-haired lover, waiting to hold him, to kiss him, to just share a few moments with him.

He glanced at the doors to see Ryou coming toward him. As Jou watched, he pulled his silvery hair from the neat ponytail he wore it in while on duty. He knew Jou loved to run his hands through it, to bury his nose in it, to drink in deeply his scent. He smiled tiredly at Jou, a twinge of sadness clouding his chocolate-colored eyes.

"Tough day, babe?" Jou asked as Ryou melted into his embrace. They held each other tightly; their bodies melded as one, Jou marveling at how well they fit together. How right it felt to hold Ryou against him, to stroke his hair, and to trail kisses across his pearly, translucent skin.

"Yes," Ryou murmured, "I lost a patient."

Jou hugged him tighter. Ryou was devastated whenever a patient died. He took it personally, second-guessing whether or not there was something he missed, some test or procedure he could have run to prevent the inevitable. He would become undone after breaking the news to the family members, often shedding his own tears after comforting them.

"Plus I have to work the overnight. Funaki called in sick and I need to cover his shift." He sighed, nuzzling against Jou.

"I'm so sorry," Jou comforted. "I wish there was something I could say ta make you feel better."

Ryou pulled away. "I only have a few minutes, but I do need to speak with you, let's go around the corner to the coffee shop. I could use a cup of tea." He allowed Jou to clasp his hand and lead him away from the hospital.

Jou ordered a black tea for Ryou and a decaf latte for himself at the counter while Ryou sat in a booth and waited. In the harsh fluorescent light of the overheads, Jou could see clearly the troubled expression on his lover's face. He carefully brought the steaming cups to the table, placing the tea before the Ryou before sliding onto the opposite bench, facing him.

Ryou absently stirred his tea, avoiding eye contact. "You truly love me, don't you?" He said finally, looking up at Jou.

He pushed his bangs out of his eyes. "Yah, of course," he replied, reaching across the narrow Formica tabletop and stroking Ryou's hand.

"And you'll always love me, won't you?"

"Yesss," Jou replied slowly, contemplating his lover's questions. "Ryou, what's going on?" he asked, concerned.

Ryou looked at his reflection in the glass. Looked past it to the streetlights beyond. "I don't know how to tell you this. I don't want to hurt you."

Jou felt a coldness creep over his body. "Just tell me," he urged softly.

"I'm such a coward," Ryou continued, "I'm afraid that I'm going to make you hate me."

"I could never hate you! Dear, sweet Ryou, you couldn't hurt a fly on purpose!" He saw a tear slip from his lover's chocolate eyes.

"I don't deserve your love," Ryou said miserably.

"Ya startin' ta scare me now, please just tell me what's wrong," Jou pleaded. He could see how much the secret was hurting Ryou.

He rubbed the tears from his eyes, looked into Jou's earnest face. "I don't know where to begin."

"C'mon, how bad can it be?"

"I saw Malik today."

"Did that bastard threaten you?! 'Cause if he did--" Jou exploded.

"No, Jou! It wasn't like that at all!" Ryou's eyes widened with alarm. "We-we had lunch together."

Jou felt a tightening in his chest, and he imagined that his heart had stopped beating as he waited for Ryou to continue.

"He wants me back. He said that he's come to realize how awful he was to me, he asked for another chance."

"You didn't--"

"Jou, I think he really has changed."

"What did you say ta him?!" Anger leaked into Jou's voice. His eyes narrowed dangerously. Goddamned Malik.

"You will hate me," Ryou said resignedly. "I-- I still have feelings for him."

"You mean after all we've been through, you can just turn your back on us? 'Cause he says he's changed?" The blond asked wide-eyed.

"No! I can't do that! I love you, Jou!" Ryou reached out and cupped Jou's face. You've been so kind to me, and this is how I repay you," he sobbed.

"So what're ya trying ta say here?" Jou said coldly.

"I don't know. This is killing me, Jou. I love you, but I--I think I still love him--"

"After everything he's done to you?!" Jou hissed incredulously.

"He's been acting so kind lately. Really trying to be nice to me," Ryou admitted.

Jou shut his eyes tightly and grimaced. "Lately?" he growled accusingly. "Ya mean you've been seein' him behind my back!" His voice rose further in anger.

"No, not like that! I mean--we've met for lunch a couple of times, nothing more. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to upset you!"

Jou felt rage well up from deep inside. He took a deep breath, and counted to ten before he spoke. His voice was deadly quiet.

"Ya know, I could handle it if ya told me ya didn't love me. Really, I could. But you went behind my back, an' that tells me that ya knew what you were doing was wrong. That means one thing. You. Don't. Respect. Me."

"No, Jou! It's not like that at all! I just didn't want to hurt you! I thought I could work it out on my own, that I wouldn't need to involve you." Ryou protested.

Jou shook his head slowly. The coldness had enveloped him fully, and an ache was building in his chest. Had it only been twenty minutes ago that he'd thought that he was the happiest man alive?

"I'm gonna make this easy fah ya, babe," he spat. "It's over." He rose to leave, collecting the check for their drinks.

Ryou looked at him, shocked. "It's over?" he repeated. "Just like that? But I don't want it to be over."

Jou gave him a bitter smile as he fumbled for some bills to pay the check. "It was over the second you decided ya couldn't confide in me. Whatever relationship we had, it's nothing but a sham now." Tears blurred his eyes. He vowed he would not shed them.

"I--I'm so sorry. Please forget I ever said anything, I don't want Malik, I want you," Ryou said desperately. "It was just a big mistake! Please, don't go!" he begged, grabbing Jou's forearm.

He froze for a second, almost losing his resolve as he looked into Ryou's gentle, expressive eyes. How many nights had he lost himself in those eyes as they smoldered with passion, with lust? And yet, he realized now, there had always been a voice whispering to him, taunting him that he was the consolation to the prize that Ryou had run from. He sighed, knowing full well that he could not hate Ryou for what he'd known in his heart all along. As happy as he'd made Ryou, it was Malik who Ryou loved with complete abandon. Oh, he was furious, he was deeply hurt, and he wanted to make Ryou ache in the same way he did now, but he did not hate him.

"Ryou, I won't compete with Malik for your love," Jou said softly, pulling his arm away. "Ya said you wanted to figure it out on your own, now you can. I'm gonna pay the check and leave. Consider it my parting gift."

Jou heard Ryou sob as he left him in the coffee shop. He could no longer allow himself to care--he only wanted to escape the shards of the relationship he had left behind.

***

Jou sped through the deserted streets of Domino on the beater bike that Honda had sold to him on the cheap, the engine whining its complaints as he pushed it hard. He briefly considered how it would feel to crash, imagined flying free of the handlebars, hurtling through space in a spectacular moment of flight, before crashing to the ground, broken, like Icarus. How ironic it would be if he were to end up in the University emergency room, Ryou crying over him, groveling for his forgiveness as his life drained away. That revenge would be sweet.

His head was filled with psychological jargon and diagnoses. 'Suicide ideation,' he thought wryly. 'Co-dependency,' he added, for he'd long ago been able to diagnose that in himself. His life was littered with a series of dysfunctional relationships in which he needed to prove himself worthy--first his mother, then his father, then later Kaiba Seto, and finally Ryou. He needed to prove that he could be a worthwhile son, a worthwhile opponent, and a worthwhile lover. And just where had any of it gotten him?

His mother would have nothing to do with him. He could barely stand to be in the same room with his father and he hadn't spoken with Kaiba in years, a formidable accomplishment in itself since his best friend Yugi Motou had become a senior vice president at Kaiba Corp., and his sister was dating Kaiba Mokuba. And now here he was, dumped by Ryou in favor of the white-haired man's sadistic ex-boyfriend.

Miraculously he reached his building in one piece, dismounted and unlocked the wrought iron security gate that lead down a blind alley to a small garden and the entrance to his studio apartment. He parked the bike in the alley, made sure the gate swung closed and locked securely. It wasn't the worst neighborhood to live in--it was in a business district--but it was deserted at night. The apartment had been a sweet deal though, and it was located across the street from the restaurant Chez Pierre he worked in. The studio itself was tiny, but the courtyard that served as its entrance was his alone to use, and he'd turned it into his refuge from the world.

When he'd moved into the space five years before, the courtyard had been little more than an abandoned, overgrown lot, surrounded on three sides by the blind faces of buildings. The fourth side contained the entrance to his ground-floor apartment, and one small window that vented his bathroom.

He'd worked tirelessly to turn that space into a patio and garden, laying paving stones in the center area and building raised beds along three walls. He had erected trellises along those walls and planted ivy to cover them. In the beds he'd planted shade-loving plants--dwarf bamboo, hostas, and ferns, and in the center of it all, he'd built a fountain. He loved that the trickle of water drowned out the sounds of the surrounding city.

He sat on a bench facing the fountain and contemplated the evening's earlier events. He didn't want to face the loneliness that awaited him in his empty apartment and in his empty bed. He felt sadness and longing envelope him, and there was familiarity and comfort in those feelings. They reminded him of the adolescence he'd spent pining away over Kaiba Seto, wishing if only for a moment the brunet would see how attracted to him the blond was.

In retrospect it made sense to him that he would be drawn to Kaiba then, someone so obviously out of his league. It was his way of undermining what little self-esteem he could build up, and to feed it into the self-fulfilling prophecy that he was a worthless loser. He sighed softly and let a tear slip down his cheek unhindered. In the year he'd been with Ryou, he hadn't really thought about Kaiba at all. He had believed he was over his adolescent crush, his puppy love. Yet here the brunet was again, occupying the lion's share of time in his musings. Front and center. He cringed at the thought, and felt the anger of his youth well up as he remembered the insults 'mutt' and 'inu', and the degradations of 'loser' and 'third-rate duelist' Kaiba had regularly tossed at him. Not that he didn't give as good as he got, though for some reason 'rich boy' and moneybags' never seemed to have the same bite.

He shook his head in disgust. This line of introspection would get him nowhere. There was a bottle of wine inside he'd purchased for the picnic he and Ryou had planned for tomorrow, and he suddenly craved a glass of the ruby liquid, if only to take the edge off the awful ending to his day.

He slipped the key in the lock and entered his darkened kitchen. It was little more than a galley, but whoever had designed it knew what they were doing. The stove and sink were on opposite walls just inside the apartment entrance--stove on the right, sink to the left. The refrigerator was separated from the stove by a small countertop on which he kept various dried herbs and spices and oils that he used most often when cooking. The doorway leading to a tiny pantry and to the bathroom was on the other side of the refrigerator. On the opposite wall, next to the sink, a four-foot long butcher-block prep counter had been installed. Another counter that served as his eating and studying areas bisected the apartment, running perpendicular from the wall beyond the bathroom door. He sat there now, facing the living area and poured himself a glass of wine. In front of him, the wall on the right side was covered with shelving that warped under the weight of his college texts, cds, dvds, and a growing collection of cookbooks. Against the wall facing him was his TV and stereo, while against the wall to the left was a battered armoire, which contained all of his clothes. On either side of the armoire were mismatched side chairs. Directly in front of the TV with its back to Jou, was a futon that served both as a couch and bed, and between it and the TV was a cedar chest that doubled as a coffee table.

He'd painted the four walls of the studio a soft moss green, and the concrete floor a neutral tan. A deep red ground rug that he'd rescued from someone's garbage covered most of the floor in the living area, while the kitchen floor he'd tiled in repurposed slate shingles that he'd filched from the rubble of a construction site.

It had been the bathroom that had finally sold him on the tiny place. It was huge by most apartment standards, and contained an ancient claw foot tub that had been modernized with shower plumbing added on. It was a deep soak tub, a true luxury in every sense of the word. He thought forlornly how he and Ryou had put it to good use.

The wine tasted good and immediately began to soothe his raw nerves. The euphoria was short-lived though, as the realization that he was once again alone smacked him in the face. He had no lover to share his deepest secrets, his hopes and dreams. Again he was tormented by familiar feelings of worthlessness and loneliness. It occurred to him that the wine he was drinking would not be sufficient to numb him into slumber tonight, and that what he wanted more than anything at that moment was sweet oblivion.

He remembered he'd stashed away a bottle of 25-year-old Johnnie Walker Blue Label that he'd received as a gift at the last Kaiba Corp. Christmas party that Shizuka had shamed him into attending. She'd been dating Mokuba for over two years now and it was obvious to anyone who knew them that they were deeply in love. Shizuka alone knew how carefully Jou avoided the older Kaiba brother, but she nagged him constantly about attending the party, finally shocking him with the statement "You know big bro, someday you two might be family."

"Whaddya mean by that, sis?" Jou had stammered. No one knew that he'd harbored a secret crush on the elder Kaiba--that he'd once thought he was in love with the brunet.

"I think Mokuba is going to ask me to marry him, silly! What did you think I meant?"

"Asking you? He better ask me first!" His older brother instinct had kicked in, causing Shizuka to erupt in a fit of giggles.

So he had found himself formally dressed in a black tuxedo, with the exquisitely attired Ryou on his arm, at the annual Kaiba Corp. Christmas party. He shouldn't have cared what Kaiba thought, after all he was in love with Ryou now, yet he couldn't help but notice the approving glance he caught from the brunet as his eyes raked over Jou, before it turned to a scowl as Ryou draped himself possessively around the blond. Seeing Kaiba for the first time in years had both thrilled Jou and and at the same time filled him with a sense of dread, yet he could not keep his eyes from wandering onto the brunet, watching him as he fulfilled his corporate duties. Kaiba looked every bit as gorgeous and sexy as Jou remembered, and the stirrings of passion flared as the blond had found his thoughts unusually pre-occupied by his old crush.

Ryou had been particularly attentive that night, Jou recalled, as he rummaged his pantry for the whisky. Perhaps his white-haired lover had sensed something that he himself had vainly tried to ignore that night--that he'd been willfully avoiding for several years--he was still hopelessly attracted to Kaiba Seto. Finding his prize, he settled back at the counter with the bottle and a shot glass.

He grimaced as the heat of the first shot burned down his esophagus, and reflected that the whisky would do the job quite nicely. He'd be plastered within minutes, passed out within the hour. The silence of his apartment only underscored the loneliness he was trying to keep at bay. He wandered over to the shelves that held his cds, looking for something that matched his mood, settling on an old disc that had belonged to his mother, Matthew Sweet's "Girlfriend." It was a maudlin record filled with songs of unrequited love and angst, the perfect complement to his life to date.

He poured a second shot, mentally berating himself for choosing his father's way to deal with his problems and reminding himself of the likelihood that he could become an alcoholic as well. He shrugged his shoulders as he downed it. No, this was not going to become a habit, he still had too much in life to look forward to, he rationalized. He just needed to escape tonight. Tomorrow he would pick up the pieces and move on. He refilled the glass one last time, and replaced the stopper on the bottle.

"Kanpai!" he said to no one in particular and gulped down the liquid fire. He stood up and immediately felt the effects of the alcohol. The room spun lazily in his line of vision. He swayed through the bathroom doorway, peed, then washed up and brushed his teeth. He stripped down to his boxers before wrapping himself in a throw and crashing onto the futon, listening to the strains of "You Don't Love Me."

_"What a beautiful moment  
The truth comes out at last  
Once your heart would own me forever  
Then this passed  
And what a beautiful moment  
As my head comes apart  
Drunk and in a manner of saying, wasted_

'Cause you don't love me  
You don't love me  
You can't see how I matter in this world  
Even though I loved you  
You can't believe that  
If you find something  
You think might make you happy  
Then I guess it's okay, I think it's okay  
If you go away"

He smiled wryly, musing how this particular cut long served as the soundtrack to his relationship with his mother. He spent countless nights listening to this record--the one thing she'd abandoned along with him. And now years later, he felt that abandonment in full force once again, brought on by Ryou's revelation and their subsequent breakup. As the song faded, he closed his eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep.

 

***

Jou woke to his apartment buzzer being rung incessantly. As he lay on the cushion and tried to acclimate to consciousness he could feel a nasty hangover threatening behind his eyes. Whoever had their finger on that buzzer was dead, he thought as he crawled off the futon and stumbled toward the intercom.

He pressed the voice button. "What!" he growled at the offending box, and then pressed another button to listen.

A voice crackled through the cheap speaker. "Jounouchi, it's Mokuba. Let me in!"

Fuck. He'd forgotten all about his plans to go running with his raven-haired friend in the morning. "S'open" he mumbled as he pressed the button that unlocked the security gate. He left the apartment door ajar, slipped into a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt, then padded into the bathroom to down some Tylenol and to wash up. The room tilted a little as he moved; he realized that he was in no condition to run and that he would need to beg off.

Mokuba was leaning against the butcherblock counter when Jou finished his ablutions in the bathroom.

"I brought us some coffee." Two take-out cups had been set on the counter, and he offered one to Jou.

"Ya don't look like you're ready to go out running," Jou observed. Mokuba was wearing an old tee shirt, a pair of jeans and flipflops.

Mokuba leveled a gaze at him. "I didn't think you'd be up for it. I ran into Ryou and Malik this morning."

"Oh," Jou said simply, looking away. He winced at the motion; his head was beginning to throb.

"D'ya want to talk about it?" The younger man implored.

"Nah." Jou shook his head and groaned from the pain as he accepted the coffee. "There really isn't anything to say. Ryou still loves Malik. End of story." He felt tears well in his eyes, blinked them back furiously. "Have a seat," he motioned to a stool, then sat across the counter from it.

Mokuba sat down on the offered seat and stared at Jou sympathetically. "I'm sorry Jou, but if he can't see how much better you are than Malik, then you're better off without him."

Jou smiled weakly. Of course Mokuba would say something like that. Over the years he and the younger Kaiba brother had grown closer, not just because Mokuba was dating Shizuka, but also because as he'd matured, he had lost the brattiness that had defined him as a youth. In his place stood a self-assured, kind, and caring young man. Jou had to give the elder Kaiba credit for that; he'd done an amazing job raising his brother.

As they drank their coffees in companionable silence, Jou began to feel the effects of the Tylenol as his headache receded.

"So what are you going to do the rest of today?" Mokuba asked.

"I dunno, I was supposed to go on a picnic ..." Jou's voice trailed off. "I thought maybe I'd head over to the orphanage later and work there for a little while."

At the mention of the orphanage, he saw Mokuba shift uncomfortably in his seat. It was ironic that Jou now volunteered his time counseling adolescents and children at the very same orphanage that the Kaiba brothers had escaped. He knew Mokuba harbored painful memories from there, and later from living with his adoptive father Kaiba Gozaburo. Since they had become good friends, there had been many a night where Mokuba had related to Jou details of his and his brother's childhoods.

"How is it ... there?" Mokuba asked quietly.

"It's coming along," Jou shrugged. "The money you've donated has gone a long way toward improving things."

"Yes, I've read the reports, seen the charts."

"Maybe you could stop in sometime." Jou said evenly. He knew the best way to conquer the fears of the past was to face them head on. "Maybe it isn't as bad as you remember it. Come by when I'm there."

"I don't think I'm ready for that yet." Mokuba said, and Jou could see sadness reflected in his grey eyes.

"I understand. There's a lot in my past I'm not ready to face." He found himself thinking again about the elder Kaiba brother, and his unresolved feelings toward the brunet. He switched the subject. "So what are you upta today? Ya playing hooky from the business again?"

"No, I'm going in later-I'm having lunch with Shizuka. Do you want to join us?"

"What, and be a third wheel? I don't think so." Jou snorted.

"Whaddya mean? You're like a brother to me! And she'd be thrilled." Mokuba protested.

"You two can't keep your hands offa each other. And speakin' of bein' a brother, I think I'd be neglectful in my brotherly duties if I didn't remind you that my sister is a lady, and should be treated as such." Jou teased.

Mokuba smiled at the good-natured ribbing, "I would ~never~ be disrespectful to your precious sister," he replied, taking mock offense.

"'Sides, I know what today is," Jou continued. "You're just being kind invitin' me ta lunch."

"What do you mean, 'today'?" Mokuba asked in alarm.

"White Day?! Ya didn't forget, did you?" Jou cocked his head in disbelief. "It ~is~ March 14th, right?"

"Yes, of course! But we'll be celebrating that tonight." Mokuba said, much relief evident in his voice.

"So what'd ya get her? I got her some chocolate from Marcolini." Jou said proudly.

"Marcolini? I didn't know grad students had that kind of money." Mokuba teased.

"Ah, my friend, you forget that I'm in the business. Professional discount." Jou replied, referring to his job at Chez Pierre. He watched as a pensive expression settled over Mokuba's face.

"Jou, you know I love Shizuka very much. And I know it's cliché, but she's the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"Yeah I know that, and from what I hear, she loves you too." Jou said lightly.

"So ... there's another reason I wanted to hang out with you this morning," Mokuba continued hesitantly.

"Oh yeah? And what would that be?" Jou had a definite idea at what Mokuba was getting at, but was enjoying watching his friend squirm.

Mokuba sighed. "You aren't gonna make this easy for me, are you?"

"What?" Jou asked, feigning innocence.

Mokuba rolled his eyes, reminding Jou of the elder Kaiba. "Jou, I wanted to ask you if it was okay if I asked Shizuka to marry me."

"You. Wanna. Marry. My. Sister."

"Yes." Mokuba responded quietly.

Silence stretched out between them. Jou took another sip of coffee. From the corner of his eye he could see Mokuba staring at him intently, waiting for an answer, or any indication of what his response might be.

"Doncha think you guys are awfully young to get hitched?"

"That's exactly what Seto would say!" Mokuba howled indignantly.

"Oh, he doesn't know about this?" Jou asked, hiding his disbelief. He knew Mokuba shared everything with his brother.

"No! He's never gonna agree with me on this!" Mokuba was visibly upset. "And you think we're too young too!"

"Hold on a sec," Jou said calmly. "I said nothing of the sort. I asked you if ~you~ thought you were too young."

"Obviously, we don't think we're too young." The younger man said testily.

"Oh, so ya already discussed this with Shizuka. So why'd ya need my blessing?"

"Because-because I respect you! And it's the right thing to do."

He took pity on Mokuba finally, and cracked a smile. "Of course it's okay. If you two were anyone else, I'd say ya were too young. But you both know what you're doing. After all, look who raised ya," he said, mentally patting Kaiba and himself on the back.

Mokuba looked at him incredulously as what the blond was saying finally registered. "You're really okay with it?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course I am. I love ya like a brother, I couldn't be happier for the both of you." He noticed a smile forming on Mokuba's lips.

"So this is what I got her," the raven-haired man said conspiratorially. He reached into his jeans pocket and held out his hand to Jou.

"That sure beats chocolates," Jou whistled appreciatively at an engagement ring that refracted sparks of light onto the ceiling, walls and countertop. It was a single brilliant-cut diamond set in a simple gold band. He gently picked it up. The stone was quite large. "How big is it?" he asked.

"It's only a carat and a half, but the stone is the finest quality. You think it's all right?"

The blond gently dropped the ring into the younger man's hand. "It's perfect. She's going to love it."

The realization that his sister was grown up felt like a suckerpunch to the jaw. In his mind's eye Jou still saw her as the little girl he protected from the neighborhood bullies. He felt a twinge of resentment, knowing that he would now be sharing her life with another man. Not that that hadn't already been the reality of the situation, but somehow the ring made it official to the world.

It didn't surprise him that Mokuba was worried about how his brother would handle the news. Kaiba's life had always revolved around his younger brother, leaving no room for anyone else. From what Jou remembered of the brunet's over-protectiveness of his younger sibling, Kaiba would not handle the news very well at all.

"So when d'ya plan on telling your brother the news?"

Mokuba looked at him sadly. "Tomorrow. I want to have a pleasant day today with Shizuka. Do you think that maybe afterwards you could talk to Seto?"

Jou arched his brow and snorted. "You're brother ain't gonna want ta hear anything I have to say on the matter."

He saw the hurt look in Mokuba's eyes and softened. "Look, we could barely stand to be in the same room together when we were younger, and we haven't spoken in years. What could I possibly have to say that would make him come around?"

"You guys are going to be family, whether you like it or not." Mokuba said with some bitterness. "It would be nice if you just tried to get along."

"We get along fine!"

"That's because you avoid him! You know, I learned from my professor in Abnormal Psych that avoidance behavior is ~not~ healthy," Mokuba said meaningfully. Jou had taught him in the undergrad class.

"Yeah, well what did he know? He was just a grad student anyway!"

"Jounouchi, you can't avoid Seto for the rest of your life."

"It's been working fah me so far!"

Mokuba scowled at the older man. "You know, he's changed a lot. He's not so ... so angry anymore. Nor is he so insulting."

"Right. See? My strategy ~has~ been working."

Jou sighed in resignation. With Mokuba and Shizuka planning on getting married, it was inevitable that he and Kaiba would need to interact socially. He thought of the years that lay ahead--the family get-togethers, holidays, birthdays, and milestones, all opportunities for him to spend time with the brunet, to build a relationship not built on rivalry, but centered around their love for their siblings ... and maybe more. The thought of being near Kaiba filled him with dread, but he couldn't deny there was a certain thrill building inside him as well, as he contemplated those future events.

"Okay, look. After you talk to your brother, tell him if he wants, he can call me to discuss. We're gonna need to plan out some things together anyway. Give him my cell number."

"Thank you Jou! Thanks for everything!" Mokuba came around to his side of the counter and hugged the blond tightly.

"S'okay kiddo," Jou smiled within the warm embrace. He was truly happy for his young friend and his sister, but their joy only underscored his own feelings of loneliness. The raw emotions left over from his breakup last night threatened once again to surface.

He pulled away from Mokuba, and drained his cup of coffee. "Anyway, thanks for the joe, but I think you should be going. You need ta get cleaned up. And I know you don't want to keep my sister waiting. Since you're gonna monopolize her time today," he said with little rancor, "ya think you could give her my gift?"

"No way! You're going to have to do that yourself, Jounouchi." Mokuba scolded. "She would kill us both if she found out I saw her most favorite brother today and she didn't. I have reservations at the Palace Hotel restaurant tonight at eight. Just drop by. I promise we'll be good 'til after you leave," he added wickedly.

"Hey now! Don't think I'm so hungover that I can't beat the shit outta you for that comment!" Jou warned as he playfully punched the younger man's shoulder.

"Owww!" Mokuba exclaimed in mock pain. "Fine, but you'll be the one explaining my black eye to your lovely sister."

Jou shuddered at the thought of an angry Shizuka. "You're lucky she scares the hell out of me, buddy." He sighed. "All right, I'll see you tonight."

"Good, she'll be so happy you came by. And so will I."

After Mokuba left, Jou collapsed back on the futon. What he really needed right now was to be with friends. He couldn't stand the thought of being alone, but couldn't face the 'I told you so's he was sure to get from Honda and Anzu. He knew Yugi could provide the level of comfort he craved, so he dialed his friend's direct line at Kaiba Corp. to find out if he were free for lunch, and if he wouldn't mind listening to his friend pour out the miseries of his heartbreak.

***

Kaiba Seto leaned in the doorway of his ex-rival Yugi Motou's office, nonchalantly eavesdropping on one side of what was most certainly a personal conversation. He grimaced--personal business on company time by his employees never failed to annoy the young CEO. Yugi, back to the open door, was gazing out the floor to ceiling windows that offered a spectacular view of the Domino City skyline, a view that was second only to the one afforded to Kaiba.

Once he'd gotten over his bruised ego that had resulted from his inability to beat his diminutive rival at Duel Monsters, it hadn't taken very long for Kaiba's business sense to convince him that he should absorb the game shop that Yugi's grandfather Sugoroku owned in order to secure a retail outlet for Kaiba Corp.'s gaming titles. From there it was a natural progression to offer Yugi a position in his company expanding that outlet. Yugi's intuition at choosing localities to expand in had proved remarkable, and in the ensuing years since he'd joined Kaiba Corp., a mutual respect, if not a full bloom friendship had developed between the two ex-rivals. Often they would take lunch together to discuss business developments, or Kaiba would pick Yugi's brain about a game that he'd had the champion duelist beta test, probing to see what further refinements would make it market-ready. Kaiba grudgingly admitted that Yugi Motou had been a valuable addition to Kaiba Corp., helping the profit margins soar to new heights.

"I'm so sorry it didn't work out, Jou."

Kaiba's ears pricked at the mention of Jounouchi Katsuya's name. In the silence that followed the CEO was able to conclude that his white-haired boyfriend had dumped the mutt, not that the brunet found this tidbit of gossip remotely interesting. His mind wandered back to his miserable high school years, spent in class after boring class, his only diversion being the rise he could get out of the other boy by calling him a variety of dog names. He smirked at the memory, and idly wondered if his barbs would garner the same results today. It puzzled him that their paths very rarely crossed anymore although Yugi worked at Kaiba Corp. and Mokuba was dating Shizuka. It had been years since he'd insulted the blond. Years since they'd traded more than mild greetings, he mused.

"You know you deserve better than that."

For some reason that he did not care to think about, Kaiba took smug satisfaction in the knowledge of Jounouchi's breakup and subsequent misery. When he'd seen the blond most recently at the last Kaiba Corp. Christmas party, looking far better than he deserved to, Ryou's possessiveness over the mutt had dug deep under Kaiba's skin. It had taken all of his self-control not to unleash a torrent of insults at the overly demonstrative couple. He'd thought that the attraction he'd felt toward the blond since the day he first laid eyes on him had dissipated long ago. But seeing Jounouchi at the Christmas party had unleashed a hunger within the CEO that had not been sated by the series of lovers he'd taken on since. They'd all suffered from one singular fatal flaw-not one of them had been the blond. So, instead he'd left a trail of heartbroken men and women, all the richer monetarily for his indiscretion.

"I'm sorry Jou. I can't get out for lunch today--I'm in meetings all afternoon. Why don't you come out with Yami and me tonight?" Both Yugi and the eavesdropping CEO listened intently.

"Oh, I see ...

"You're kidding. He did? ...

"And she said yes? ...

"You must be so happy for her! Have they set a date? ...

"Yes, he has grown up to be a fine young man, and they do make the perfect couple ...

"No, he hasn't come in yet. I think he's due in at one ..."

Kaiba's blue eyes narrowed dangerously as he quickly filled in the blanks of the overheard conversation. It didn't take him long to fit the puzzle pieces together and realize that Yugi and Jounouchi were talking about his brother Mokuba and the mutt's sister Shizuka. It took him even less time to grasp just exactly what his brother had done.

"Dammit Mokuba," he seethed as he ended his eavesdropping and strode purposefully back to his own office, vowing to end once and for all his brother's nonsensical idea that he was ready for marriage.

By the time Kaiba reached his desk a cold fury had gripped him. He wasn't sure what he was angrier about--that Mokuba had decided against his better judgment to get engaged, or that Jounouchi had been informed of it before he had. His hand shook as he speed-dialed his younger brother's cell and as the phone rang, he took a deep breath and willed himself calm, and felt that calmness wash over him. If there was a hint of anger in his voice, he knew Mokuba would avoid him at all costs, and that just would not do.

When his call was greeted by Mokuba's voicemail message, he knew with certainty that his younger brother was already avoiding him. That would be easy to circumvent. He hung up without leaving a message and dialed Shizuka's cell.

"Moshi moshi!" Shizuka answered pertly on the second ring.

"Hello Shizuka, this is Kaiba Seto-"

"Kaiba-kun?"

He grimaced at the familiarity. "Yes, Shizuka. I called to wish you a Happy White Day. I have a present for you that I would like to give to you, is there any possibility of seeing you sometime tonight?"

"Oh thank you so much Kaiba-kun! But you didn't need to get me anything! Um ... Mokuba and I are having dinner tonight at the Palace Hotel restaurant, can you stop by there?"

"What time will you be there?"

"I think our reservation is for eight."

"Okay, I'll see you tonight Shizuka."

"Thanks, Kaiba-kun! Bye!"

He took another deep breath and rubbed his temples. It wasn't that he didn't like Shizuka, he did--she was a sweet girl and it was plain to see how happy she made his brother. And it wasn't that he thought she wasn't 'right' for Mokuba, he could not imagine a better match, nor did he think she had designs on any of the Kaiba fortune. Shizuka was genuine and fiercely loyal to his brother--one time she had even protected Mokuba by standing up to him. Mokuba had gone against his will and rehired a clerk that he'd ordered fired after the young man had been caught stealing some gaming cartridges. Kaiba had been furious, standing toe-to-toe with Mokuba in a heated argument. As their words escalated and became more personal, Shizuka had injected herself between the brothers, eyes flashing in anger at Kaiba in such a way that made her look incredibly like her older brother. The similarity had unnerved him, had thrown him off balance.

"Kaiba-kun, stop it now! Did it ever occur to you that there were extenuating circumstances? Do you think your brother would be that unwise, that careless in his decision?"

In the stunned silence that followed, Mokuba had indeed explained his reasons, and Kaiba was forced to acknowledge his brother had ultimately made the right decision. But more profound was the effect Shizuka's intervention had had on the elder Kaiba. He'd always viewed her as passive and dull, but in that moment of passion, he'd glimpsed a strength of spirit in her reminiscent of the one he knew to exist in Jounouchi. And like her brother before her, she'd proven that she had enough mettle to fearlessly stand against the CEO. In that moment she'd won Kaiba's respect. So he did believe that she was right for Mokuba, it was just ...

"Dammit, they're too young!" He exclaimed aloud in exasperation.

"Who's too young?"

Kaiba looked up with a start to see Yugi in his open doorway. He shook his head in annoyance at his own carelessness. "It's none of your concern," he said coolly as he met the other man's gaze.

"Oh. So was there something you wanted to see me about?"

"Excuse me?"

"I thought you came by my office a couple of minutes ago. When I was on the phone." Yugi's eyes were unusually unreadable, he must have figured out the CEO was eavesdropping.

They stood there eyeing one another, and Kaiba felt at a distinct disadvantage. Seeking to remedy that he asked, "So who was it that you were talking to?"

He saw Yugi's eyes widen with surprise. "Jou-Jounouchi, I was talking to Jounouchi."

Nothing like the direct approach, the CEO thought. Satisfied, he asked nonchalantly, "Oh, and how is he?"

"He's been better," Yugi answered measuredly. "But overall he's okay, he's on track to get his doctorate soon."

"I see." Kaiba replied dismissively. He'd successfully derailed Yugi. "I dropped by to see if you wanted to grab a bite to eat."

"I don't really have any time for lunch today. I want to go over some of our projected sales figures before I meet with the principles of eToys.

"Okay, let me know how that goes." Kaiba distractedly shuffled some of the reports that had accrued on his desk.

"No problem, Kaiba. I'll check in with you later."

He closed the door to his office after Yugi had left. With a growing sense of unease, he buzzed his secretary and asked her to hold his calls for an hour. He could feel a panic attack coming on. His heart was pounding and he began to sweat uncontrollably as he sat there helpless, waiting out the storm of anxiety. He knew from experience the attack would crest within ten minutes and from there the symptoms would gradually abate to a general sense of malaise before he could once again function normally.

He'd experienced his first panic attack shortly after his stepfather Gozaburo died. It had been terrifying, but when it had passed, he'd diligently researched the symptoms and learned that panic attacks were not uncommon after particularly stressful life events. But the thought that he'd become susceptible to panic attacks disgusted him--he viewed it as a sign of weakness--and for a while during his adolescence, no greater fear possessed him than the thought of having one in public. His position of wealth and power had been fortuitous in hiding the affliction, though. He was always able to invent some excuse- some imaginary meeting or phone call that needed to be returned-- and escape to somewhere private to weather out the sporadic attacks.

He closed his eyes and tried to visualize something, anything, that would take his mind off the physical symptoms he was experiencing.

He imagined he was in the throes of making love, his hands firmly planted on slim hips while his cock was embedded deep inside a sweet, tight ass. He felt tight sphincter muscles contract around his sex. He could hear his lover's gasps and moans with each thrust, rising to ragged keening as the length of his shaft rubbed against his prostate gland, causing his phantom lover to exhort "gods Seto, fuck me harder." He could see the sheen of sweat that covered his lover's body, feel muscles bunching and sliding underneath his hands as he caressed his lover's back, sliding them ever upward toward tousled blond silken strands. With a start, Kaiba's eyes opened as he realized the lover he was fantasizing about was Jounouchi.

"Fuck," he swore softly. It dawned on him slowly that the symptoms of the attack had passed; overall it had been a mild one compared to what he was used to. He wondered idly if fucking the blond for real would cure him of panic attacks once and for all. He snorted at the ridiculousness of the idea.

But he now had the problem of how to deal with a raging erection. He was not one to masturbate indiscriminately, but the thought of bringing his own release and alleviating the swirl of emotions that threatened to upend his carefully cultivated equilibrium proved too much. After contemplating the potential embarrassment of being caught in a somewhat compromising position behind his desk by his matronly secretary, he slipped into his executive bathroom.

Once inside the cedar-paneled room, he unloosened his trousers and let them pool around his shoes. He unbuttoned his shirt, exposing the smooth expanse of his chest and abdomen to the cooling air. He leaned against the door and slowly stroked the length of his hardened shaft through the soft silk of his boxers. He closed his eyes and once again images of Jounouchi flashed in his mind. He imagined it was Jou stroking him, and teasing his erection as he slid his hand under the waistband of his boxers, wrapped his fingers around his cock and began pumping it in earnest. As he felt his orgasm building deep in his lower abdomen, with his free hand he played with his nipples, alternately pinching them and softly grazing them with his fingertips, again thinking how it would feel if it were actually the blond jacking him off. He fantasized that Jou was on his knees in front of him, he felt the texture of blond hair slipping through his fingers as he fucked Jou in the mouth. He began thrusting harder and faster into his own hand, finally feeling his hot cum spurt into his hand.

Sated, he cleaned himself up and redressed, then took a moment to splash cooling water on his face, before returning to his desk and the pile of work that awaited him. He thought for a moment about why after all these years Jounouchi had suddenly been inserted once again as the object of his fantasies, and considered what it would be like if they ever did manage to become lovers. If Mokuba and Shizuka did get engaged, there would be ample occasion to explore that possibility.

Once seated at his desk, Kaiba sighed in resignation. He knew Mokuba would marry Shizuka with or without his blessing, and the more he argued against their union, the more intractable his younger brother would become. He idly sifted through the reports, his mind still absorbed with thoughts about Mokuba's actions. There really was only one acceptable outcome, he thought sourly. He would need to support Mokuba's decision and make the best of it.

***

Jou let the water from the shower cascade over his back. He'd long ago finished shampooing and washing, but just standing under the flow of hot water felt good. He was exhausted both physically and emotionally, and what he wanted to do most in the world was crawl into his bed and sleep. But he'd promised both Mokuba and later his sister that he'd stop by the Palace and see them, so despite feeling otherwise, he was getting ready to go out.

He'd kept himself busy all day--put in a full day volunteering at the orphanage, but now once again the loneliness he had been keeping at bay was threatening to engulf him. His shifted his focus and allowed himself to feel angry for being so stupid and so willfully blind when it came to Ryou. He should have seen it coming from a mile away. The signs were all there--Ryou's distant behavior, how he seemed to be withdrawn from Jou for the past few weeks, the evasive answers he gave to innocuous questions-he only needed to have read them correctly. Instead he had accepted the excuses that Ryou made--that he found his final semester taxing, that he needed to study for his board exams. What a fool he'd been.

"Shoulda, coulda, woulda," he spat with disgust. Hindsight would get him nowhere. Sure, he needed to work through all the baggage from the remnants of his relationship that he was saddled with, but not now. He needed more distance, time to cool off and look at things with a clear head, one that wasn't fuzzy from a long day of counseling on top of last night's mix of too much alcohol and too little sleep.

He certainly hadn't expected that he would be asked to see patients when he had shown up at the orphanage. He'd thought he would spend some time there helping out with some of the household chores, and then pitch in on kitchen duty. The kids loved when he cooked for them-he always managed to make the most nutritious of vegetables deliciously kid-friendly. Little did it matter to them that he worked at one of the most popular restaurants in Domino City, and regularly prepared meals for tourists and anyone else willing to shell out a weeks' pay. But when he arrived, Aiko, a four-year-old girl that he'd been working with, latched onto him as soon as she saw him, and Jou's supervisor, Dr. Watanabe, had thought that it might be a good opportunity for a session.

Aiko had come to the orphanage several months before, after she was found with her mother's body, and no relatives would take her in. Her mother's boyfriend was being held on homicide charges, but if Aiko couldn't or wouldn't confirm his involvement in her mother's death, he would soon be freed.

When she had arrived, Aiko had been unresponsive to the point of being considered catatonic, and would have been institutionalized if it hadn't been for her immediate reaction to Jou. The first time he had tried to work with her, she climbed into his lap and hugged him as if he were a lifeline. And though it took him weeks of encouragement to get her to talk to him, the fact that she would follow him around the building whenever he was volunteering there was enough to keep her safely out of a mental hospital. But she still refused, or was unable to talk about the events leading up to her being found alongside her mother's battered body.

She was still painfully shy around the other children and staff, and since Jou had developed a good rapport with her, Dr. Watanabe had assigned him to conduct therapy sessions with the little girl under her supervision.

"Katsuya, I think you should try some more play therapy with Aiko, she seems to be responding to it," the older woman had advised. "The police are going to have to let her mother's boyfriend go if we can't get Aiko to tell us what happened. I'll slip in and observe after a few minutes."

Jou had invited Aiko to play with him in a playroom that doubled as his therapeutic office and asked her to bring her favorite doll. She frowned at his request, but obediently retrieved the little rag doll that she had been holding when she'd been left at the orphanage.

She carelessly tossed her doll on the floor and reached for a board book instead. Jou sat on the floor and Aiko settled next to him, flipping through the well-worn pages of "Guess How Much I Love You."

"Aiko, don't you want to play with Kaiya?" She shook her head furtively and continued to look at the pictures in the book.

"Would you like me to read to you?" Again the little girl shook her head.

"Why don't you want to play with Kaiya?" Jou asked softly. He heard the door click softly closed and glanced up to see that his supervisor had joined them.

The little girl ignored him, and he waited patiently, allowing the silence to stretch. He knew it was important not to press too much for a response; Aiko would talk when she was ready. He'd learned from experience, and Dr. Watanabe's tutelage, to allow for long silences and be comfortable with them, especially when working with children. Often they had a hard time verbalizing what they were feeling, and were easily intimidated by a barrage of questions or meaningless conversation.

He reached for some nearby blocks and started to stack them into a building, watching the little girl out of the corner of his eye.

"Kaiya was bad." Aiko picked up the rag doll and then threw her down forcefully.

"Oh, I see. How was she bad?"

"Bad girls get punished." Aiko stated. She picked up the doll again and wrapped her small hands around its neck. Jou watched, fascinated by her actions.

"Aiko, was Mommy bad?" Her big brown eyes stared out at him from under jet bangs.

"Mommy got punished." She said, picking up the board book again.

He felt the hair rise along the back of his neck and heard the furious scratching of Dr. Wantanabe's pencil on paper. They were finally getting somewhere.

"She did? Who punished Mommy?"

She picked up Kaiya and cradled her to her chest. "Taka," she whispered as a tear slid down her cheek.

She'd seen her mother's boyfriend do something to her. Jou stroked the little girl's hair gently. "It's okay Aiko," he soothed. It didn't feel okay to him at all though. He could only imagine the horrendous scene she'd witnessed. He'd seen the crime scene photos; they were nightmarish.

"How did Taka punish Mommy?" Jou probed gently.

Aiko seemed to ignore Jou's question and continued to cradle Kaiya. She started to rock slowly back and forth, which had a calming effect on the little girl.

After a while, Aiko looked over at the building he was working on, and with a glint in her eye, knocked it over. The sound the blocks made as they tumbled caused her to giggle in delight. Her laughter was infectious, and Jou grinned at her, marveling at the resilience she exhibited.

"Oh you think that's funny, huh?" He made an exaggerated sad face that elicited more peals of laughter from her. He crossed his arms and looked away.

"I sorry Dr. Jou," Aiko stood in front of him and reached for his face. "Don't be mad."

He smiled broadly at her. "I'm not mad at you. I can build a new one. Will you help me?"

She nodded and began to gather up the scattered blocks. They worked together in silence for a little while, before Aiko drifted off and again picked up Kaiya. Jou decided she might be ready to answer some more questions.

Trying a different tack, he asked "Aiko, can you show me how Taka punished Mommy?" She looked at him solemnly and nodded.

"Use Kaiya," he instructed softly.

"You stupid bitch!" she yelled suddenly, twisting the doll's head and body in two different directions. She began to slam the doll onto the floor, repeating the phrase over and over, her voice rising with emotion, tears streaking her face. She broke into great sobs.

Jou grabbed her to stop her. "It's okay Aiko, you can stop now. It's all right," he soothed as he hugged her close. He felt tears in his own eyes, felt emotions from his own childhood bubbling up from deep within. He was consumed with anger and hatred for the man whose crime Aiko had witnessed. But he had one more question to ask, and as he rocked her gently and calmed her down he whispered to her "Was that right before the police found you?"

She nodded her head against his chest and he looked up at Dr. Wantanabe. She mouthed to him silently 'good job.'

"Aiko, you are a very brave girl to tell me that. Thank you for sharing it with me." Jou said after she had stopped crying.

"I sleepy," she yawned.

"Yes, look at the time! Let's get you ready for your nap," Jou exclaimed, getting up and taking her by the hand.

Dr. Wantanabe caught up with him after he'd tucked Aiko into her bunk.

"You did a great job today Katsuya. I've spoken with the police captain, and he thinks he may be able to get a confession out of that bastard."

"So she wouldn't have to testify?"

"That's what they are hoping to avoid. She would be a compelling witness, but if she got up and then refused to speak on the stand, it could backfire." He nodded in agreement.

"Katsuya, are you okay?" Dr. Wantanabe was fully aware of Jou's past; that he had come out of a neglectful and abusive family life.

"Yeah, I'm just going through a rough time-I broke up with my boyfriend last night, and that session dredged up a lot of things that I went through when I was younger," he admitted.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not just yet, I need to work things out in my head a little better."

"Okay, you know my door is always open. By the way, I've been meaning to ask you something, have you ever considered fostering?"

Jou looked at his supervisor in shock. "Fostering-a kid?"

"Yes. You have such a way with Aiko, perhaps after you're done with your volunteer contract here, you might consider it--fostering her, that is"

"Ta be honest, I never even considered being a parent."

"Well, I think you should. You have many fine parenting qualities." She smiled warmly at him. "Well, I have some phone calls to return. You did well today, I don't think I could have handled it any better. You will make a fine psychologist," she said as she walked away.

 

Aware that it was getting late, he twisted the faucets to their off positions, stepped out of the tub and toweled himself dry. A glance in the mirror reflected his tired face, but no worse for the wear. He smiled weakly at his reflection--he cleaned up pretty well, broken-hearted, emotionally drained and all. He ran conditioner-slicked fingers through his hair that he still maintained as the boyish mop he'd had as an adolescent, though now it was slightly more shaped and manageable.

He looked in his armoire to find something appropriate to wear. It wouldn't do to walk into the Palace restaurant in jeans and a t-shirt, but he'd be damned before he put a suit on just to drop off his sister's present. He knew he wouldn't be there long anyway; he didn't need her or Mokuba's pity right now. He would just drop off the gift, say his congratulations and get lost. He settled on a pair of slim black trousers and a dark green turtleneck sweater. It was made of cashmere-soft cotton that he found immensely comfortable and comforting.

It would be hard to park his bike by the hotel, but driving would keep him from drinking, and he didn't want a repeat of last night. He had to be up early to teach a class, and had a full day after that, part of it would be spent in practicum and then putting some time in working on a draft of his dissertation.

His cell rang, interrupting his train of thought. He glanced at the caller ID and his heart skipped a beat as he recognized Ryou's number. Thoughts raced through his mind; maybe it was all a big mistake. He shook his head in annoyance, knowing that couldn't possibly be the reason for Ryou's call.

"Hello" Jou answered flatly.

"Hi Jou, it's Ryou. How are you?"

"I'm alright," Jou said. "Actually, I'm a little in a hurry, headin' out the door."

"Oh."

There was a pause and Jou suspected that Ryou was waiting for him to detail what his plans for the evening were. Fat chance of that, he snorted. Let him think he wasn't going to spend his nights pining away. He waited for his ex-lover to continue.

"Um, so I was wondering if it would be okay for me to drop by. I need to pick up a couple of my things, and bring you some things you left at my apartment."

So it really was over. Jou willed away the tears that threatened. "What time d'ya think you're gonna drop by?" He asked softly, hoping the quiver in his voice went unnoticed.

"Around 10," Ryou hesitated. "M-Malik said he would give me a lift on my dinner break."

Great, now he would need to find somewhere else to go after he saw his sister. There was no way he was going to watch Ryou gather up his possessions while Malik looked on and gloated over his prize.

"Fine." Jou said bitterly. "You can leave your keys on the counter. Just make sure the security gate locks when ya leave. Oh and one thing, Malik stays outside."

"Okay, Jou," Ryou answered softly.

"Ryou, I mean it." Jou persisted. "He. Stays. Outside"

"I understand."

"Good. Bye." He hung up without waiting for Ryou's response.

Dammit, now he was on edge. The apartment suddenly felt constricting and suffocating. He pulled on his pair of black boots and slipped on a black leather jacket, grabbed his helmet, Shizuka's present and left.

***

The maitre d sniffed his disapproval at the sight of Jounouchi as he strode into the restaurant area. Jou's eyes narrowed dangerously. He was spoiling for a fight, and he didn't like the look on the man's face one bit.

"Can I help you?" The impeccably dressed middle-aged man asked imperiously.

Jou groaned mentally. He hated when maitre d's intimidated clientele. On the nights he filled in as head chef at Chez Pierre, he always instructed the staff to be solicitous and attentive. He loathed making the customers feel like they had to pass a test in order to be deemed acceptable to spend their hard-earned cash in his restaurant.

"I'm here to see Kaiba Mokuba, he has an eight o'clock reservation. He's expecting me." Jou stated arrogantly as he glared at the man, daring him to argue.

"I'm sorry, Kaiba-san did not mention he was expecting anyone else." The older man sniffed.

"Jounouchi-san!" At the mention of his name, Jou gazed passed the maitre d and recognized a waiter that he had worked with at Chez Pierre. He grinned and waved at the young man, as he bused a tray to a waiting table.

The maitre d's eyes widened at the name. "Jounouchi ... Katsuya? You are a chef at Chez Pierre?" He asked softly, his demeanor changing drastically.

Jou glared back at him. "That would be me, one and the same. And you are?" He enquired.

"Very sorry, Jounouchi-san! Please accept my apologies, I didn't recognize you."   
The maitre d bowed. "Kaiba-san and his date have just been seated. I will show you to his table."

'Date, my ass!' Jou fumed as he bit his tongue. He had a few choice words for the maitre d's attitude as well. "That would be his fiancée," he corrected.

Mokuba and Shizuka had been seated at one of the most desirable places in the restaurant, a corner booth that afforded a commanding view of the room while at the same time offering privacy. As he approached their table Jou saw Mokuba's eyes light up. He watched as his friend leaned in toward Shizuka, who immediately stood up and turned toward Jou. She was radiant in her happiness.

"Oniisama, how are you?!" She exclaimed as she wrapped him in a warm embrace.

"Hi Sis, hi Mokuba. Happy White Day, Shizuka!" Jou extricated himself from her hug and handed her his present. Mokuba stood up and Jou reached over and clapped him on the shoulder.

"You didn't have to do this, you know!" Shizuka scolded. "I know how tight money is for you!" She ripped open the wrapping to expose the expensive-looking box. "Oh Jou, you know how much I love these! They are such a treat, thank you!" Suddenly she was just his little sister again, cooing over whatever small trinket he happened to bring to her.

"Nothing's too good for my sister! And as a matter of fact, I'm doin' okay." Jou added. He didn't want his problems to put a blemish on her evening.

"Don't lie to me, big brother! I know you must be feeling awful after breaking up with Ryou. Wait 'til I see him--he'll wish he never laid eyes on you." She set her jaw stubbornly and narrowed her eyes in a way reminiscent of her brother when he was angry.

Jounouchi shuddered at the thought of Shizuka giving Ryou a piece of her mind. And he knew she would.

After Shizuka had graduated from Domino University with honors and a degree in nursing, she'd accepted a nursing position in the pediatrics ward at the University Hospital. Eventually her and Ryou's paths would cross, and he'd be in for a serious tongue-lashing. Shizuka's temper matched her brother's own and then some. Jou almost smiled at the image of his little sister berating his ex-lover; he imagined the mortified expression that would blossom across the fine features of Ryou's face. He knew on some level he should be embarrassed by her over-protectiveness, but he was comforted in the knowledge that she would always be there to watch his back.

"No, really, I'm okay. 'Sides, I didn't come here ta drown ya in my sorrows, I know I'm interruptin' a celebration."

"You ~know~?" Shizuka squealed.

"Of course I know. Mokuba asked ~me~ first. I turned him down of course," he added wickedly. Shizuka pouted at him in an exaggerated fashion.

"Your loss is my gain!" She shrugged, playing along before bursting out in laughter.

He smiled at his sister, and then glanced over at his future brother-in-law. Mokuba was looking off in the distance behind Jou's shoulder and the expression on his face stopped Jou cold. It was unadulterated rage. Jou turned in the direction Mokuba was looking and spied the maitre d guiding someone toward them. Not just anyone. The maitre d was leading Kaiba Seto to his younger brother's table.

"This can't be good." Jou muttered to himself as he turned to the younger Kaiba and said "Mokuba, take it easy. Ya don't wanna make a scene here."

"Then get him out of here Jou," Mokuba warned, eyes riveted to his brother's. Kaiba for his part didn't look like he'd come to ruin his brother's night; his face was a mask of neutrality.

"Kaiba-kun!" Shizuka exclaimed, oblivious to her fiancée's black expression. "I'm so happy you made it! Mokuba and I have such wonderful news!" She pressed herself into Kaiba's arms, giving him no option except to reciprocate her hug.

"Hello Shizuka, hello Jounouchi." Kaiba nodded at his brother in greeting before looking at Shizuka quizzically.

"Hi Kaiba," Jou replied shakily. In such close proximity he was utterly floored by how good the CEO looked. He was dressed in skintight leather pants and a black cashmere pullover. Jou was certain ~he~ didn't hear any grief from the rotten maitre d.

"Mokuba has asked me to marry him and I accepted!" Shizuka continued.

At the news, Kaiba managed a small smile. He kissed Shizuka gently on the cheek, and said "Then I guess congratulations are in order." He stared beyond her and at his brother. "Let me see the ring."

"'Niisama," Mokuba said softly, his face a mix of contradictory emotions before settling on an extremely worried look, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you my plans sooner."

Kaiba shrugged his shoulders noncommittally as he examined Shizuka's ring-laden hand. "My brother has good taste in jewelry ... and in life partners." Once again he smiled softly at Shizuka, and Jou could see that this time his expression was a bit more genuine.

"Kaiba-kun, we were so worried you wouldn't approve! You don't know how happy you've made us." Shizuka glanced over to her beloved, brow knitting as she noted his expression. She kissed Kaiba on the cheek before stepping back closer to Jou, unconsciously leaning toward his protection.

Once again Kaiba was staring at Mokuba, and Jou had the feeling that somehow they were engaged in some kind of telepathic conversation. It didn't look too friendly from where he stood, despite Kaiba's outwardly impassive appearance. The tension between the brothers was palpable, and Jou glanced over at Shizuka and saw that she now looked worried too.

Kaiba dropped his gaze back to Shizuka, and Jou could see the predatory glint in his eyes. He knew that look and it meant one thing-trouble. "What makes you think I wouldn't approve?" Kaiba asked Shizuka evenly. At his question Mokuba, red-faced, moved face-to-face with his brother in challenge, ready to defend his beloved from Kaiba's building rage.

Here we go, Jou thought, as all his intervention skills that he'd been practicing through grad school flooded his brain. Instinctively, he knew he needed to separate the two brothers, and fast. He remembered Mokuba's words from earlier in the day-'It would be nice if you just tried to get along.' Yeah right, like that's gonna happen, Jou grimaced.

"Only bec-" Mokuba began.

"So, uh, hey Kaiba, now that that's outta the way," Jou blurted as he interrupted his young friend and stepped between him and his brother, "How 'bout we leave these two lovebirds alone to celebrate and grab a coupla drinks at the bar?" Training? What training? He thought as he mentally smacked himself. He actually ~asked~ Kaiba to have a drink with him. The man he'd done his best to avoid for years, and had done a damn good job of it to date.

The foursome stood eying each other warily for what seemed and eternity before Kaiba responded. "Sure Jounouchi," He agreed. "But first, Happy White Day, future sister-in-law." Kaiba handed Shizuka a large flat box he'd been holding in one hand.

"Kaiba-kun, this really wasn't necessary! You're blessing is more than enough," Shizuka said softly.

"Open it," Kaiba urged. As Shizuka tore at the wrapping paper, Jou recognized the expensive box underneath, and realized with a sinking heart that Kaiba had bested him yet again--it was a larger box of Marcolini chocolates. He rolled his eyes with disgust.

"Thank you! They are my favorites, but I think I'm going to need to invite you and my brother over to help me polish off all the chocolates you've brought me," Shizuka teased. They all shared a laugh, but Jou felt his heart clench and goose bumps raise at the thought of he and Kaiba together at his sister's place.

Kaiba trained his predatory eyes on Jou. "Well, what are you waiting for?" He smirked. "You ~are~ buying the first round, aren't you?" They said their good-byes to Mokuba and Shizuka.

Jou felt like a pigeon trapped in a tiger's cage, and wondered what he'd gotten himself into as he followed the brunet through the hotel lobby to the bar. Of course it was filled with couples celebrating White Day, and Jou felt a sharp ache as he thought about he and Ryou. Great, he was feeling vulnerable and his sole companion for the evening was Kaiba Seto, who was probably better at capitalizing on his weaknesses than anyone Jou could name.

They managed to find two seats at the bar, as all the cozy booths and tables had been claimed. As they sat down, Jou's cell vibrated in his pocket. He reached for it and saw Honda's number on the screen.

"Sorry, I have to take this or he's gonna call me all night." Jou said apologetically. Kaiba nodded absently as he waited for the bartender to notice them.

"What?" Jou answered.

"Hey Bro, how are you doing?" Honda asked.

"I'm fine, and I don't want to hear it, okay?"

"What?" Honda asked innocently.

"You know, no 'I told ya so's' tonight okay?"

"No problem. That's not what I called you about."

"No? What's up?"

"I think we might be able to get that bastard to flip based on your interview with the girl."

After high school, much to his parents' chagrin, Honda Hiroto had enrolled in college as a Criminal Justice major. They had hoped their son would pursue a business career, but he'd been set on becoming a police officer. After graduating, Honda had entered the Police Academy and then joined the force. He'd proven to be an excellent cop, and during his few years on the job he had been cited many times for his bravery. His interviewing skills were the stuff of legend. Perhaps some of it was due to his street smarts; he'd been able to wrangle confessions from some of the most hardened criminals. It had been Honda who'd delivered Aiko to the orphanage, after he'd accompanied her from the crime scene to the hospital for an exam.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, I softened him up a little before my shift ended. Gonna let him sleep on it and go at it again in the morning. I think I got him running scared. I let it slip that Aiko's talking--you could smell the fear on him."

"It would be a best-case scenario if ya got a confession outta him." Jou agreed. "I don't think she'd be too good on the stand."

"Christ, she's only four. That's the last thing we want to do. I'll give it my best shot." Honda promised. "So what are you up to right now?"

"Um, not much." Jou slid his eyes over Kaiba's profile; the CEO was doing his best to ignore the one-sided conversation going on next to him, and trying unsuccessfully to summon the bartender. God, he has it all going on, Jou thought to himself. The years had been kind to the brunet considering the amount of pressure he put on himself running Kaiba Corp. Jou could see a couple of stray gray hairs, and the very beginning of crows' feet around the one eye he could see. As far as Jou was concerned, the premature aging effects of the stress Kaiba lived under didn't at all diminish his attractiveness. If anything, it added to it.

"So why don't you meet me somewhere? I'll help you drown your sorrows." Honda offered.

"Nah, I kinda need ta be alone right now, but thanks." Jou rationalized that he was just keeping Kaiba out of Mokuba's hair for a while. It had nothing to do with any stupid schoolboy crush.

"You sure? I got nothing going on tonight."

"What, is Otogi out of town or something?"

"Yeah, he's not gonna be back 'til the 20th" Honda sighed. "So if you want to hang, just let me know."

"Thanks Hon, I'll keep that in mind. I'm gonna let you go, okay?"

"Yeah Jou, just one thing. I. Told. You. So."

"Yeah thanks Bud, I knew I could count on you not ta kick me when I'm down," Jou said sarcastically, then added, "Have a good night, okay?"

"You too "Jou. For what it's worth, you can do a lot better than Ryou."

Jou snorted, and glanced back at Kaiba thoughtfully, "Ya got that right. Call me tomorrow."

He hung up the phone and turned toward the brunet. "Sorry about that," he reiterated. Kaiba shrugged his shoulders, eyes focused intently on the bartender who had still not acknowledged them.

"No luck? This guy's a bein' a prick," Jou observed. "I gotta tell ya, I hate the attitude of this whole place."

"Why is that?"

"The staff is too condescending. But it's such a beautiful barroom, it almost makes up for how big a pain in the ass it is ta get some service!" Jou purposely raised his voice, hoping the bartender would hear him bitching.

Kaiba smirked at him. "And you think that's going to work?"

"Nah, but it makes me feel better." Jou grinned back.

"What is it that you like about this bar?"

"I love the feel of it, the oak top, the brass rail. It's like we're in some '20's speakeasy. The barware is nice too, it has a real heft to it." Jou pointed to the Art Nouveau mural that served as the bar back. "And that is just too cool,' he added.

Kaiba nodded in agreement. "You know that this bar is a replica of one in New York City. The King Cole Bar, it's in the St. Regis Hotel. The mural is a copy of an original painted by Maxfield Parrish. That's Old King Cole," he said, pointing to a jolly figure in the center panel.

"No shit!" Jou exclaimed, and Kaiba chuckled.

The bartender had sauntered over to them, deciding finally to accept their order. "What are you drinking?" Kaiba asked Jou.

He didn't want to drink, but sitting here next to the brunet, Jou was nervous as all hell. While things seemed pleasant enough for the moment, he knew that could change at any time. His emotions were in turmoil and his nerve endings were raw. "Hair of the dog that bit me," he muttered, and then said to the bartender, "I'll have a Jameson's on the rocks."

"Make that two. With water backs." They waited in silence while the bartender prepared their drinks and Jou wondered idly how much of the evening that stretched ahead would be filled with uncomfortable silences.

The bartender placed two coasters in front of them, followed by their drinks. He turned away to retrieve the waters.

It was Kaiba who broke the silence first.

"So Jounouchi, tell me something. Have you been avoiding me?"

***

Kaiba observed Jounouchi shift uncomfortably in his seat as he gulped a rather large sip of his drink. He smiled inwardly at the knowledge that he'd put the mutt on the defensive. Once he'd started to ponder the scarcity of interaction he had with the blond, it didn't take the CEO very long to conclude that Jounouchi had been actively avoiding him. For years. Following that train of thought had led him to contemplate why. And for all his ruminating, he could not come up with a plausible answer.

He had to admit that time had been quite kind to his nemesis. Jounouchi the teenager had been cute and endearing in a goofy way. Jounouchi the man was downright stunning. Gone was his adolescent awkwardness; in its place was a perfect balance of fluidity of movement and grace. Kaiba couldn't help but admire the leanness of Jounouchi's body, how well his clothes draped, clinging in all the right places, accenting the slimness of his hips, the sleek musculature of his legs. The turtleneck of the sweater he was wearing just begged to be pushed down to reveal the ivory column of his neck. Kaiba half-closed his eyes as he imagined the texture of the skin of that neck underneath his lips.

"Why d'ya ask?" Jou's answered with a question of his own that shook Kaiba out of his reverie.

Touché, he thought, this might prove to be an interesting night after all. "Your sister is marrying my brother. Your best friend works for me ... and yet ... I never see you. Why is that, Jounouchi?" He pressed.

"I've been kinda busy, if ya hadn't noticed." Jou snapped irritably. "Ya know, school, work, volunteerin'. Nice ta know ya missed me, though." Jou parried.

Kaiba snorted at that. As if. He flashed a wicked smile at the gauntlet Jou had thrown down, sidestepped the bait and went straight for the kill. "Really, if I didn't know any better, I'd think that you were afraid of me." He took a sip of his drink, and waited for Jou's outburst.

"Y'know Kaiba." Jou said softly. "We weren't exactly the best of friends in high school. In fact, the way you treated me--I thought ya hated me. You never missed a chance ta insult or humiliate me." He took another sip of his drink before continuing. "Ta be honest, I just got tired of fighting with everyone I was fighting with. That included you."

Kaiba was surprised at Jou's candidness. And his answer wasn't what he'd expected either. He never imagined that his insults and barbs really hurt Jou in any way. He always seemed up to the challenge of their verbal exchanges. If anything, he thought that Jou had just grown tired in his attempts at making friends with him.

The realization that he had hurt Jounouchi stung the CEO. He'd only been protecting himself, isolating himself so that his dirty secret would be safe. As if on cue, he felt the rhythm of his heart speed up drastically, and a fine film of sweat blossomed over his body. It was suddenly too hot; he pushed up the sleeves of his sweater. Shit. He needed to leave-immediately, before it got too bad. He glanced at Jounouchi who was staring at him intently.

"I just remembered something. I have to go." Kaiba said and stood up to leave. If he could get to the men's room quickly, he might yet be able to salvage his evening.

Jou immediately sensed something was wrong. The abrupt change in Kaiba's behavior signified that and he could see that the color had drained from the brunet's face; his skin had taken on a sickly pallor.

"Don't go." Jou said evenly as he laid his hand on the brunet's arm. Kaiba's skin felt clammy, confirming his suspicions. "Kaiba, stop." He noticed that one of the booths had been abandoned, and wondered how he would be able to convince the CEO to move to it.

"No. I need to leave now!" Kaiba said harshly. He tried to pull away, but Jou's grip only tightened.

"I know what's happening to you. I can help you right now." Jou said reasonably, hoping he would be able to get through to the stubborn brunet.

He couldn't stand the look of pity on the mutt's face. His anger flared now, and his old pattern of dealing with his weakness was exposed. "I. Don't. Need. Your. Pity." He said through clenched teeth. "Now. Let. Go. Of. Me. Inu." He snarled. The attack was in full bloom now, and his breathing was becoming rapid and shallow.

"Don't mistake compassion for pity," Jounouchi replied levelly. He knew Kaiba was deliberately pushing his buttons in his desperation to escape. "Listen to me, you're hyperventilating. You need to take a deep breath and hold it. There's a booth over there with some privacy, you and I are going to walk over to it so you don't feel so exposed."

Kaiba realized it was too late. There was no escaping the panic attack, no escaping the damned blond's vise-like grip without making a scene. He never should have accepted the mutt's invite. He was insane to stay now. But at this point he knew he wouldn't make it across the bar room on his own. He nodded his head in assent, and let Jou guide him to the booth.

Instead of sitting across from him, Jou sat next to Kaiba on the banquette. He released the brunet's arm, and wrapped his arm around his shoulders. He could feel Kaiba trembling.

The first thing he needed to do was to focus Kaiba on his breathing, to distract him from the physical side effects of the attack. "Listen to me Seto, I want you to take a deep breath, hold it, and count to ten slowly." He heard the shudder of Kaiba's inhalation, felt his body expanding under his arm. There was an immediate calming effect. Jou silently counted and felt Kaiba exhale around the time he reached ten. "Again," he ordered softly, and was relieved that Kaiba complied. After about a minute, Jou could tell Kaiba was no longer in danger of hyperventilating.

Kaiba was still sweating profusely and his skin still looked ashen. Jou wrapped his free hand around Kaiba's wrist, and felt his racing pulse. He was holding together pretty well for someone in the midst of a panic attack.

"Close your eyes Seto." Jou saw the CEO's eyes flutter shut his head tilted in toward Jou. "Okay, now I want you to imagine a place where you feel safe. Are you thinking of it?" Kaiba nodded his head imperceptibly. "Now I want you to concentrate on what it looks like, what it smells like. I want you to put yourself in the scene," Jou continued softly. "Look at your surroundings, remember the details." Kaiba's pulse was beginning to slow down somewhat, Jou noted, and the color was beginning to return to his face. "Think about how good it feels to be there, what is it about that place that makes you feel safe. Just focus on that place, there's nothing but the place where you feel safe and protected. Stay there until the feelings pass and open your eyes when they're gone."

Jou let go of Kaiba and shifted away to give him some breathing room. It didn't surprise him that the CEO had panic attacks. He'd suffered tremendous losses as a child--first his mother, then his father. And even though his life had improved immensely after the death of his adoptive father Kaiba Gozaburo, it was not hard to imagine that the sudden shift in Kaiba's roles toward his brother and Kaiba Corp would be the source of an inordinate amount of stress. It all began to make sense to Jou; the puzzle pieces of the brunet's life were suddenly falling into place. All of the fighting, all of the insulting comments; Kaiba didn't think he was better than everyone else. he was just trying to protect himself, to isolate himself. Too much emotion led to panic. A wave of compassion washed over Jou as he realized that Kaiba had been suffering like this for years.

"You can move now, Jounouchi." Kaiba said quietly.

"Ya feeling better?" Kaiba nodded his head and focused on the empty banquette across the table. Jounouchi brushed a lock of chestnut hair off of Kaiba's forehead and brushed his fingertips against the skin underneath. It was cool, but had lost its clamminess.

"'Kay, I'll go collect our drinks from the bar." He slipped easily out of the banquette and Kaiba surreptitiously caught an eyeful of Jou's shapely behind. If only he knew exactly what I was visualizing the brunet shuddered. Now he had another pressing problem. As the blond returned, he slid out of his seat. "I need to go to the men's room. I'll be right back."

"D'ya want me ta come with ya?"

Kaiba rolled his eyes at the suggestion. 'If only you knew how tempting that is, Jounouchi.' "No, I think I can manage ~that~ by myself."

He had to stop doing this, Kaiba thought forlornly as he slipped into a private cubicle in the men's room. No, he corrected, he had to start ~doing~ him, that was a much better solution. He undid the button and fly of his trousers and slid them and his boxers off of his waist. He wrapped his slender fingers around his swollen cock, and resumed his fantasy.

Jou was kneeling in front of him. He slowly sucked Kaiba's shaft deep into his hot mouth while softly fondling the brunet's balls. He rolled his tongue over the sensitive tip, dipping deep into the slit, lapping up the precum that was collecting there. Kaiba slowly began to thrust in and out, his hands finding purchase in his lover's blond hair. Jou hummed along the length of Kaiba's shaft, and the vibrations sent shivers up and down the brunet's spine.

He felt his orgasm building deep inside, and now he imagined Jou's sweat-soaked body underneath him in his own bed. His hands were planted on either side of Jou's head, and Jou was panting his name as they rocked in unison. His cock was buried deep inside Jou's sweet tunnel, and he elicited moans of pleasure each time it rubbed against his lover's prostate. He began to thrust erratically as the climax built and traveled along his shaft, culminating with the spurt of hot seed into his hand.

He sighed, a mixture of contentment and need. He thought about the man waiting for him back in the bar room, thought about how much Jounouchi had matured. As infatuated as he'd been with him as an adolescent, Kaiba could easily find himself falling in love with this iteration of Jounouchi Katsuya. He cleaned himself up and allowed the thought that maybe the blond was worth pursuing as something more than an easy lay.

There was time enough for that. Right now, he reasoned, he should just enjoy the moment and see where it took him. He threaded his way back through the now crowded bar. Jounouchi was staring at his drink, deep in thought. As Kaiba slid into the booth, he looked up, acknowledging his presence.

"Jounouchi, I'm sorry," Kaiba said simply.

The blond tore his eyes away from his drink and looked up at the CEO. "Don't worry about it." He replied.

Kaiba took a deep breath. "Not about that. About the way I treated you in high school." He said measuredly.

Jou arched his brow in surprise. "Well, ya hafta admit, I gave as much as I got."

Kaiba snickered. "No you didn't."

At that Jou pouted. "Aww come on, leave me to my delusions." They both laughed and some of the tension between them dissipated. They sipped their drinks in companionable silence for a while.

"So anyway Kaiba, how long have you been experiencing panic attacks?" Jou asked. He was curious to test his hypothesis.

"Why? Are you going to psychoanalyze me now?"

Jou snorted, "Not a chance. You'd never submit to that. Years of talking about your childhood ta someone ya can't even see. As far as I can tell, you've no use for spending years dwelling into your past. Really, how long?"

"About ten years, since just after Gozaburo died. So what kind of therapy would you suggest?"

"The best therapy for panic attacks, which is what I suspect you suffer from, is cognitive-behavioral. Knowing you, you aren't interested in ~why~ they happen, you just want them to stop." Kaiba nodded his head as he listened intently, digesting what Jounouchi was saying.

"You really should see someone about it, you don't need to suffer."

"Oh really, so they can leak it to the news that I'm seeing a shrink? Could you imagine how that might affect the bottom line of Kaiba Corp.?"

"Number one, therapists are ethically bound not to talk about their patients. If you saw someone it would be completely confidential. And number two, don't you think your health is more valuable than any company?" Kaiba considered that for a moment and then shrugged his shoulders noncommittally.

"Maybe I should see you." He said half-kidding.

"Nah, I'm not licensed," Jou replied seriously. "But if you ever did want to see someone, I could make a couple of recommendations."

"I'll bear that in mind," Kaiba replied as he sipped his drink.

"Kaiba, can I ask ya something?"

"Go ahead, Jounouchi." Kaiba said reluctantly.

"Are you really okay with Mokuba and Shizuka getting married?"

"And you are?" Kaiba answered coolly.

"Yeah, I am." Jou gazed at the CEO. "I know they're young. But they are so in love, and they both have good heads on their shoulders. I think they'll be okay." He glanced away from Kaiba ruefully. "It's hard to let go, though. Hard ta think about sharing my sister with someone else." He added.

"It is." Kaiba sighed. "But you are right, they are meant for each other." He agreed sourly.

"It really made them happy to know you were okay with it." Jounouchi drained his drink and looked around uncertainly. He was hungry, but he didn't want to drop a wad of cash here. He knew he'd already put a dent in his budget for the week. He pulled out his wallet to pay for the drinks.

"What are you doing?" Kaiba asked, his eyes narrowing.

"I'm paying for the drinks." Jou said as he stood and dropped 2,200 yen on the table.

"That's generous," Kaiba observed. "You're leaving?"

"Um, yeah. I'm getting kinda hungry, but I don't wanna spend my paycheck here. I'm gonna grab a bite ta eat somewhere else." He looked down at the brunet. "Ya wanna come?"

Kaiba thought for a moment. What did he have to lose? Jounouchi had seen him at his worst and hadn't used that against him ... yet. Besides he was enjoying the alluring blond's company.  
"Sure. Where do you want to eat?"

Jounouchi looked genuinely surprised. He hadn't expected Kaiba to accept his offer of a drink, his acceptance of a dinner invitation was bordering on the surreal. "Um, I was gonna head over to Chez Pierre. Did you drive here?"

"No I had the car drop me off. I can call my chauffeur-"

"I can give ya a lift on my bike."

"You have a motorcycle?"

"Yeah, I have a spare helmet stowed under the seat. You wanna ride with me?" He asked again.

Kaiba considered Jou's offer carefully. He could think of worse things than pressing his body against the blond's as they sped through the streets of Domino City.

"Yes, let's go. Thanks for the drink."

"You're welcome," Jou said over his shoulder. It didn't register that Kaiba's eyes were focused on points south of his waist.

As they passed by the restaurant, they spied on Mokuba and Shizuka, who were deep in conversation, oblivious to the world around them. Kaiba couldn't help but feel a pang of envy at his brother's good fortune. Shizuka ~was~ his perfect match in every way, and he knew they would share a lifetime of happiness. He let his eyes skim over her older brother's form and wondered idly if he might be able to share the same fate as Mokuba.

They picked up their jackets at the coat check and Jou led Kaiba a couple of blocks to where he'd parked his bike. Kaiba eyed it critically.

"It might not look like much, but it's dependable," Jou apologized as he handed Kaiba the spare helmet.

"Whatever you say." Kaiba waited for Jou to mount and start the bike's engine, before sliding easily behind him. He placed his hands low on Jou's hips, and leaned against his back lightly as they drove off into the night.

There was something deeply erotic about the way Kaiba was touching him, and it was all Jou could do to concentrate on the road in front of him. He was glad for the distraction of muscling the bike through the streets of Domino, but at every red light, his attention was drawn to the tantalizing pressure of Kaiba's long fingers as they curved around and lightly gripped his pelvic bones. He found himself fantasizing about how it would feel to have those hands travel a bit further between his legs. He shook his head to banish those thoughts and focused on the road in front of him with renewed concentration.

He turned the corner onto the street that his apartment shared with Chez Pierre and was surprised at how busy it was; the restaurant was doing brisk business. He wasn't too concerned--he could park his bike in the alleyway to his apartment--and he knew there would be a table available at Chez Pierre where the staff took breaks in hall between the kitchen and the dining room proper. There he and Kaiba could eat in relative seclusion if there were no other open tables.

As he edged closer to the alley that led to his apartment, he saw that the security gate was open. All at once he felt sick deep down in the pit of his stomach; he realized he'd forgotten entirely his conversation with Ryou earlier that evening. Right now his ex-lover was in his apartment, and that meant that Malik was somewhere nearby.

***

Jou stopped the bike on the street opposite the alley entrance. If he'd been of a rational mind, the irony of him appearing outside his apartment at the exact time that his newly-ex was there with his boyfriend, after deliberately planning to be out, would not of been lost on him. Nor would he have found Freud's take on the entire matter to be any more comforting; that his subconscious had led him back there on purpose.

As it was, he was furious. The idea that Ryou would allow Malik into his place drove all other thought from Jou's mind. He pulled off his helmet and tossed it at Kaiba. "Watch the bike!" He snapped as he stalked down the alley, cursing vehemently to himself.

"Ryou! Goddamit!" He swore as he reached the end of the alley and stepped into his courtyard.

"He's such a good little boy Jounouchi, he wouldn't let me go in, if that's what has your knickers in a twist." He turned to see Malik sitting by his fountain. Jou's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Fuck you, Malik!" He hissed. He could feel the rage he'd kept at bay for the better part of a day rising up to dangerous proportions.

"Oh, that would make Ryou so happy! He'd be getting the best of both worlds-his puppy lover and his master in the same bed. Just imagine him tied spread-eagle and helpless. All the delicious things we could do to him."

"You. Don't. Own. Him." Jou seethed, trying to drive the images Malik had portrayed from his mind.

"See this is where your problems began, Jounouchi. Ryou needs a firm hand-he needs to be dominated, and you just weren't up for the challenge. I didn't win him back-you lost him." Malik laughed gleefully.

"I didn't ~lose~ him, asshole. I let him go. There's a big difference."

"Maybe you just couldn't take the competition, Jounouchi. Maybe you knew you didn't have a chance." Malik taunted.

"Get the fuck off my property. NOW." Jou spat between clenched teeth. He'd had far too much of the blond.

"Make me."

"What?!" Jou asked incredulously.

"You heard me, Jounouchi. Make. Me. The comfort sex would be worth any beating you could give me. It's better than make-up sex." Malik purred.

"You sick motherfucker! All right, you asked fah it-" He had the Egyptian bested in both height and weight, and it would feel so damn good to beat the shit out of the object of his ire. He launched himself at Malik, only to be brought up short, and held fast in a steel embrace.

"Easy, Jounouchi. Do you want to spend the night in jail? He's really not worth it." Kaiba reasoned quietly in Jou's ear. The CEO had heard their voices raised in argument, and his curiosity had gotten the best of him. He'd wheeled the bike down the alley, and traced Jounouchi's steps. He'd arrived in the courtyard just in time to prevent Jou from attacking Malik.

Jou grimaced. In the heat of the moment he'd forgotten all about Kaiba. He hated that the brunet would see him in such a state. "Let me go Kaiba!" He growled, struggling from his grasp, to no avail.

"Not until you calm down. Let me say it once more, slowly. He's. Not. Worth. It." He felt Jou relax a little and loosened his hold, but remained alert in case Jou was trying to catch him off-guard and escape.

"I see you didn't waste any time pining over Ryou." Malik sneered as he glanced over to Kaiba. "I'm sure he'll be very ~interested~ to know who you're out with. He's been crying over what he did to you all fucking day."

"It's-"

"It's none of your business who Jounouchi is seeing, Malik." Kaiba interrupted, still maintaining a calm demeanor.

"Mmmm, I see." Malik shifted his gaze to Kaiba. "I'll wager you weren't too upset to have your little dog come running into your arms, now were you?" Kaiba glared impassively at the lavender-eyed blond, refusing to take his bait.

"Is it true Jou?" Ryou's soft voice cut through the tension. He was standing on the steps outside Jou's door, arms laden with a cardboard box.

Kaiba dropped his arm to his side and Jounouchi spun to face Ryou. Malik had been telling the truth. Ryou's eyes were red-rimmed, and his face was puffy from crying. His chocolate eyes were riveted to Jou as he waited patiently for Jou's answer. Kaiba watched Jou closely, wondering if he would protest the accusation, and explain why he and Kaiba happened to be out together. The brunet could see that the expression on Jou's face belied all of the accumulated hurt he was feeling.

In the silence that followed, Ryou asked pointedly "Jou are you seeing Kaiba?"

At the intrusive question, Jou's anger flared again. He'd been ready to be honest with Ryou, to tell him about Shizuka's engagement to Mokuba, and how he and Kaiba had run into each other and were now just grabbing a bite to eat, but his stubborn streak got the best of him.

"And what concern is it of yours who I'm seeing?" He snarled instead.

Ryou's eyes widened with surprise as he glanced back and forth between Jou and the CEO. "It's just that ... I didn't even know you two were on speaking terms."

Jou shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "I don't have to explain myself or my actions to you anymore." He glanced past Ryou to the interior of his apartment. "Are you done in there?"

"Yes, I left the key on the counter, just as you asked." Ryou let the door close behind him and stepped down to ground level.

"Good." Jou climbed the stairs behind him and checked that his door was properly locked.

"Let me take that," Malik reached for the box Ryou was holding. "And let's get the fuck out of here, babe."

"O-Okay, Malik," Ryou answered quietly. He turned back to Jou. "I-I'm so sorry Jou. I never meant to hurt you."

"Yeah, yeah, I heard ya before, Ryou." Jou's eyes flashed angrily.

"Come on, let's go," Malik shifted the box he was carrying to one side and freed up an arm to wrap possessively around Ryou's waist. "We've obviously interrupted their little tryst." He added as a last dig, glancing over his shoulder at Jou. They brushed by Kaiba as they headed toward the street. The security gate slammed shut, signifying their departure.

Jou stared forlornly at the empty space that Ryou had occupied. Kaiba, who was never good at offering comfort, waited impatiently for the blond to pull himself together. As the minutes dragged on the brunet shifted uncomfortably, taking in the layout of the courtyard in the dim ambient light. It looked like a lovely refuge. It had been carefully laid out and invited quiet contemplation. He was acutely aware of the trickling of the water in the fountain and the sounds of the street that drifted in from the alley. Impatience slowly devolved into annoyance.

"Jounouchi, are you all right?" He asked finally, hoping he didn't sound too harsh.

Jou looked up suddenly at Kaiba and the CEO could see his tear-streaked face. The brunet felt a slight melting of his heart as he realized how deeply Jou was hurt. It never occurred to him that the blond had actually thought he loved Ryou. Along with that realization came a brief stab of jealousy. He chastised himself; he had nothing to be jealous of.

"No, not really. Just give me a minute." Jou sat down heavily on the steps and dropped his head into his hands. Kaiba came over and sat down next to him.

"I know you'd rather be with your friends right now. In fact I'm probably the last person on earth you want to be with." Kaiba continued slowly. "But I'm the one who's here." His voice trailed off, before he added, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. There's nothing to say." Was Jou's was muffled reply.

Kaiba sighed. "Well if it makes you feel any better, I think you can do far better than Ryou Bakura."

Jou looked up from his hands and stared intently into Kaiba's blue eyes. "Oh yeah, like who? No one was exactly beating a path to my door ta go out with me."

"And that was your sole reason for dating him?"

Jou frowned and looked away. "No," he said weakly. "I was lonely, and it didn't hurt that he was really good in the sack."

Despite another twinge of jealousy, Kaiba smirked at Jou's honesty. "I understand that."

"How could you understand? You could be with anyone."

Kaiba shook his head with disgust. "Precisely. And I never know if they are with me because of who I am or what I represent. And I need more than just a good fuck."

"Ya mean you've never fucked someone just ta get off?"

Kaiba snorted. "Really Jounouchi, think about it. Do you think I can afford to engage in such behavior?" He lied, knowing full well that mentally he'd done precisely that with the blond, not only earlier that same evening, but several times over the last few months, as his recent behavior would attest. And he'd certainly paid out some hefty sums to bury his latest indiscretions. But still, he'd entered each relationship believing it to have some merit, some future. And yet, it was the blond alone who'd been able to foster such wanton lust within the CEO.

"That sucks." Jou snickered. He was determined to salvage the rest of the night. He couldn't undo the past, but he needn't dwell in it either.

"Yes it does." Kaiba allowed himself a smirk at his own expense. The idea of pursuing Jounouchi was beginning to coalesce in his mind, and with it came the rush he always felt when faced with a challenge.

"So, are ya still hungry?"

"At this point I'm starving."

"'Kay. Then let's grab some dinner." Jou stood up and offered his hand to Kaiba.

Kaiba accepted it and gracefully rose to his feet. "And Kaiba, thanks for before, with Malik."

"I owed you one." Noticing the frown on Jou's face, he added "And I really didn't want to spend my night bailing your ass out of jail." He grinned at Jou to indicate his jest.

"Nice ta know ya would have considered it." Jou smiled back genuinely. "Oh and one more thing-you're wrong. You aren't the ~last~ person on earth I want to be with right now."

Kaiba snorted as he followed Jou back to the street, wondering idly who that honor belonged to.

The crowd at Chez Pierre had thinned enough that they didn't need to wait long for a table. Once Fujiwara, the maitre d had recognized that the man Jounouchi was with was none other than Kaiba Seto, he would not hear of seating him at the staff table. He scowled at Jou for even suggesting it. He found them seats at the bar and ordered them complimentary drinks while their table was readied. Before Fujiwara left, Jou whispered to him that he'd pay for dinner from his salary.

Overhearing Jou's conversation, Kaiba said, "Don't be ridiculous Jounouchi, I will pay for our dinner."

"No way, I invited you and I'll take care of it." Jou replied stubbornly.

"Stop being stubborn and let me pay for the goddamned dinner. This isn't a ~date~ after all." He could negotiate multi-million dollar deals, and yet found his attempt to convince Jou to let him pay for dinner clumsy at best.

"Fine, then I'll pay for my half of the check." In the dead silence that followed, Jou desperately searched for a way to be able to graciously accept Kaiba's offer. He knew his stubbornness had the potential of wrecking the tenuous peace they'd been flirting with the entire evening, and he could see the frustration in Kaiba's face as he struggled with his own temper.

The CEO wondered what exactly about Jou he found so attractive as his annoyance level rose. The damned blond was still infuriating, and for the second time in the evening Kaiba openly questioned his sanity for actually accepting Jou's offer to hang out together. But a glance at the perfection that was Jounouchi's profile reminded Kaiba of what was really at stake. He took a deep breath before he could say something regrettable.

"Jounouchi, it would be my pleasure to buy my future brother-in-law dinner."

So they were both working at it Jou thought, before replying with a smile. "Since ya put it that way, how could I refuse?" Relieved that Jounouchi had accepted his offer, the CEO exhaled the breath he'd been holding.

"How long have you been employed here?" Kaiba eyed the blond as he sipped his drink. He'd stuck with Jameson's, as had Jou.

"I've been working here since high school."

"Yugi says that you've become quite a good chef."

Jou smiled embarrassedly. "I do okay. People seem ta like what I cook."

"I'll have to come by some night when you are working."

The maitre d returned to collect them, and Jou noted with satisfaction that he'd seated them at a table that was served by Yoshida, the top waiter on duty.

Kaiba noticed that their arrival had created a stir among the staff, but their glances were equally split between him and their co-worker. He smiled to himself. It was classic Jounouchi; only he would be prone to rash decisions like bringing one of the most influential men in Japan to the restaurant where he worked, on one of the most romantic nights of the year. It was sure to have tongues wagging for weeks. He wasn't too upset at the thought of being linked romantically to the blond. In fact, he believed he could find it rather enjoyable.

He leaned over toward his dinner partner conspiratorially. "I think we've caused quite a stir."

"Yeah, I know." Jou said sourly. "But like I said before-it's no one's business but our own."

Yoshida came by and took their order, Kaiba asked for the pâté foie gras as an appetizer, filet mignon for his entrée, and selected a Clos St. Denis burgundy for he and Jou to share. Jou ordered a goat cheese tart and duck confit.

They spent their meal deep in conversation, each getting reacquainted with the other's life. Kaiba listened attentively while Jou described the volunteer work he was doing at the orphanage and explained his dissertation research. He was impressed by Jou's ability to shift out of jargon and explain his research in lay terms--it underscored the blond's emerging abilities as a college professor. Jou for his part probed Kaiba about the new holographic advances that Kaiba Corp. was continuing to pioneer in the gaming industry.

They absently picked at desserts that had been ordered, and continued their pleasant conversation as the restaurant closed and the staff cleaned up around them. Finally Fujiwara cautiously approached the table to present the bill and apologetically explain that they needed to leave. Both men were shocked at the time--it was after 1:00AM.

Kaiba called for his car as they waited for their coats and Jou agreed to wait with him for the car. They crossed the street and stood together outside the security gate; Jou leaned tiredly against it, feeling the full effects of two nights of over imbibing. He was a little drunk, but not in the mood to beat himself up over it.

"Ya know, I had a really great time tonight Kaiba-despite all the BS before with Ryou and Malik."

"I did too, Jounouchi."

The combination of the Jameson's, fine wine and proximity to the stunning blond was loosening Kaiba's inhibitions. He placed his hands on the bars on either side of Jounouchi's head, just above his shoulders, effectively trapping the blond between the gate and his body. Jou looked at him questioningly for a moment before tilting his head up toward the brunet in invitation. He brought his face closer to Jou's, suddenly feeling a bit hesitant about the step he was about to take. It was Jounouchi who closed the distance between them, tentatively brushing Kaiba's lips with his own. Surprised, the brunet pulled his head back, but the sight of Jou's half-closed eyes and partly open lips proved too much for Kaiba's self-control.

He brought his lips tenderly against Jou's and slid his tongue gently over Jou's lower lip. Again he pulled back to gauge the blond's reaction.

"Don't stop," Jou said quietly. It was all the invitation Kaiba required, he let a groan escape as he pressed his body against Jou's pinning him against the gate. At the same time he ravished the blond's mouth, finding the taste of his sweet dessert further intoxicating. It was with great relief that he felt Jou's response. He slid his hands under Kaiba's open coat and under the hem of his sweater to caress the flat planes of back as they slid in unison up toward his shoulders. The sensation of Jou's skin against his served to heighten Kaiba's arousal, he let go of the bars of the gate and tangled his fingers through blond hair, turning Jou's head to the side, Kaiba licked across his exposed cheek eliciting a throaty moan as he nibbled an earlobe before tracing the contour of Jou's perfect jaw line.

He could feel Jou's erection pressing against him as he rediscovered his hot sweet mouth and began to leisurely explore its interior while at the same time allowing Jou equal access to his. His head was spinning and it wasn't from the wine. Years of pent-up unacknowledged desire poured from Kaiba and he ground against the blond, ensuring Jou was aware of just how excited he made him. He felt Jou stiffen against him and he pulled back at the protest. Jou clung to him a bit unsteadily, so Kaiba leaned both their bodies against the gate. He waited for Jounouchi to say something, anything.

Jou smiled at Kaiba. He was beyond happy, and still trying to ingest the fact that he'd just been kissing Kaiba, and it felt damn good. So good that he didn't want it to stop. He let his hands drop down off of Kaiba's back and then slid them up his sides, clasping them together at the base of the brunet's neck. He pulled Kaiba to him and claimed his lips again. He bit lightly on the brunet's upper lip and tugged on it gently. Finding Jou temptingly irresistible, Kaiba again pressed their bodies tightly together and sought out his sweet mouth, this time Jou moaned wantonly into Kaiba's, and he knew at that point Jou was his for the taking.

It was at that precise moment that his reason once again found him, and he pulled away from the blond reluctantly.

"No, please. Don't stop Seto," Jou gasped. Hearing his name slip from those sexy lips almost pushed Kaiba past his resolve, but to sleep with Jounouchi at this point, when he still smarted from the breakup of his love affair was wrong on so many levels. He could forgive himself the indiscretion of a kiss, but he would never get over taking advantage of Jou in that way.

"You don't know how much I want you right now Katsuya." He whispered raggedly. "But you would hate yourself for your weakness in the morning. And I don't want that at all." He heard the sound of a car stopping and looked over his shoulder to see that his limo had arrived. He released Jou then and placed a lingering kiss on his forehead. "Give me your keys." He ordered. "I want to make sure you get inside okay."

Jou sighed as he handed over his keys. "But you are such a good kisser." He whined. He pressed his body against Kaiba's as the brunet worked the lock on the gate. Kaiba grabbed Jou by the wrist and pulled him towards his door. He climbed the stairs and unlocked the door to his apartment before answering Jou.

"It's only because I find you incredibly sexy." He said as he kissed Jou chastely on the lips. Now get some sleep and we will talk soon, I promise." He smiled at Jou as he turned and walked away.

***

Jou woke up to the sound of his alarm and a low-grade hangover, a decided improvement on the state he'd awakened to the day before. He rolled over and turned the irritating buzzer off and then rolled back. He lay on the pullout futon, amazed that he'd actually managed to open it up rather than crash on it in its couch form the previous night, especially after-

"Oh shit!" He exclaimed aloud and sat bolt upright as the memories of the prior evening flooded back to him, especially the abbreviated make-out session he'd had with Kaiba that had punctuated its end.

He had kissed Kaiba, and Kaiba had kissed him back.

He felt butterflies fluttering in his stomach at that thought and his lips tingled as he recalled the way Kaiba's tongue had caressed them before the brunet had captured him in a torrid kiss.

"Oh God." He groaned as he flopped down on his back and stared blankly at the ceiling. He knew he would be well within his rights to blame what had happened at the end of the evening on all the alcohol he'd consumed and the vulnerable emotional state he was in, but that would be a lie. The fact of the matter was that right now, stone cold sober he still wanted to kiss the brunet, and more. He longed again to feel the heat of Kaiba's breath against his cheek, and to feel the smooth skin of his back beneath his fingertips. He was getting hard just thinking about it, and that couldn't be good. The ringing of his cell phone interrupted his reverie. He grabbed it and saw Honda's number on the caller ID.

"Hello?" He answered.

"You dog." Honda insulted good-naturedly.

"Hey!-"

"You motherfucker," Honda continued. "'Oh I just need some time by myself'" He said exaggeratedly, mimicking Jou's voice.

"Wha-?" Jou replied utterly confused.

"And then I find out that you were out with ~Kaiba~ of all people? What is wrong with you?"

"Huh?" Jou wished fervently that his brain would catch up with his mouth. "W-what are you talking about?" He stammered.

"Last night, moron. Remember we talked and you said that you didn't feel like hanging out with anyone?"

Jou's mind was racing. Ryou or Malik must have said something to Honda, though for the life of him, he couldn't figure out how or why. It wasn't like they were good friends with the brunet. "What did Ryou say, Hon?"

"Ryou?" Honda snorted.

"Malik?"

"Nuh huh, baby. Try Page Six of the Domino Times."

"Fuck." Page Six was the gossip column of the largest circulation newspaper in Domino. ~Everyone~ read the Times.

"You two look ~very~ cozy." Honda teased.

"Look?" Jou asked weakly.

"Yep, there's a picture of you with your arm around him, with a nice caption and an accompanying story. Would you like me to read it to you?"

Jou's stomach lurched rather violently. He felt like he was going to vomit. "No," he said shakily.

Honda paid no attention and continued. "It says 'Double Wedding for Kaiba Brothers?' Congratulations, by the--"

"Honda, SHUT UP!" Oh God, Jou thought, whatever relationship he may have wished to have with Kaiba, it was definitely out now.

Honda giggled with mirth. "What's the matter? You embarrassed or something? Just think how ~he's~ gonna feel when he sees it."

"Not now, Honda. Can we talk about this later? I have to get to class."

"Oh, you bet we're gonna talk about this later, Bud."

"Okay," Jou surrendered, and then, remembering the interview Honda was set to do with Aiko's mother's boyfriend, added, "Lemme know how it goes with that asshole this morning, will ya?"

"You got it. And Jou, congratulations, have they set a date?"

"Who, Mokuba and Shizuka? Sometime around Christmas. Listen, I gotta go."

He hung up the phone and sighed dejectedly. Yeah right, Kaiba was going to call him now. Not. He imagined that all the inroads they'd made last night had been obliterated. Then it slowly dawned on him that this could just be a mere setback. After all they were to be brothers-in-law, it would be expected that they would be seen together. Besides, he was sure that Kaiba would roast the head of whoever had okayed that image on a spit. He certainly wouldn't want to be that poor soul when Kaiba was through with him. Hell, he ~had~ been that poor soul on more than one occasion. He got up and prepared for the long day ahead of him.

Jou was relieved there'd been no paparazzi outside his apartment when he'd left his apartment, though he figured it would only be a matter of time before he was hounded for comments. He picked up the Times at a newsstand by the university and made it to his Psych 101 class with a few minutes to spare. He turned to page six and was greeted with an image of him with his arm around Kaiba that had been taken at the Palace Hotel bar. Someone with a camera phone must have snapped it-- the shot was grainy, but the figures composed in it were unmistakable. Kaiba's head was tilted in toward Jou's, resting gently on his shoulder. From the body language, it did look intimate, and Jou had to admit that if he'd seen the picture without having been one of the subjects in it, he'd have assumed that it was an image of two lovers caught in an intimate moment. Next to it was an image of Shizuka and Mokuba, also looking quite cozy, though their shot was of much better quality, and they had posed for the photographer. He could hear his students whispering among themselves in between titters and shushes and felt the heat from a blush that was spreading across his cheeks. He checked his watch and took a deep breath.

"All right class, before I begin today, I think I need to address the matter of an item in today's gossip columns."

He smiled, and the room grew so quiet he imagined he could hear a pin drop. "Hn. I wish you were all this attentive during my lectures." He paused before continuing. "Despite what you may have read in today's Times, Kaiba Seto and I are ~not~ an item. My sister, however, is engaged to his brother Mokuba. Now that I've cleared that up, we can move ahead. Today I'll be talking about Erikson's theory of the eight stages of psychosocial development." He cast a glance over his class, registering the looks of disappointment from his refuting of the juicy tidbit, before turning to the chalkboard.

 

The lecture had been tedious. He hated teaching the entry-level psych course as it often felt that he was talking to himself. He would ask a question of the class on the material he'd just covered, only to be greeted by bored expressions and silence. He couldn't understand their lack of passion. For most of the students this was their chosen major, yet they had about as much enthusiasm for the material as they would if it were a course in quantum physics. It had been such a struggle for him to get into the university that he'd savored every minute of his schooling. His friends had been amazed at the turnaround Jou had made as he devoured course after course and had graduated with top honors. He shook his head--most of the students were clueless about how lucky they were to have parents willing and able to afford their education.

He was in the library working on his dissertation research when his cell rang. The ID was a Kaiba Corp. exchange, which meant Yugi.

"Hi Yuge, all I can say is, it ain't true."

"This isn't Yugi. And what isn't true?"

"Kaiba?" Jou asked, stunned.

"Oh, so we're back to formalities, ~Jounouchi~?"

He felt a bead of sweat slide down his temple and his lips once again tingled in memory. "N-no, ya just surprised me. I didn't expect ta hear from you so soon." He blurted.

He heard a deep chuckle from the other man. "Honestly, I didn't expect to be calling you so soon, either. But after that little item in the newspaper, I thought--"

"Look, however you want to deny it is fine by me!" Jou interrupted hurriedly.

"The best way to handle this ... situation is to ignore the media." Kaiba continued. "Reporters have the collective memory of a swarm of gnats. This will be forgotten in a few days." Jou gaped in disbelief at what he was hearing the brunet say.

"So, um ... what should I say if someone asks?"

He heard an audible sigh on the other end of the phone. "Say whatever you'd like." There was a long pause, and Jou wondered if Kaiba had hung up. Then the brunet spoke again, softly. "Katsuya, I'd be lying to you if I said that I wasn't interested in pursuing some kind of relationship with you."

"Relationship?!" Jou echoed. Here was his chance to beg off--to claim the kiss meant nothing. But something resonated deep inside him, something felt so right about what Kaiba had just confessed. Jou realized that if he hadn't just broken up with Ryou, he would have jumped at the chance of dating the sexy CEO. Then again, who wouldn't?

Kaiba continued in the silence. "I realize this is not the most opportune moment to mention this to you," he said quietly.

"K-Seto. I hafta be honest. I'm not ready for a relationship." Oh god, what am I saying, Jou thought. I'm turning down Kaiba Seto. Shoot me now.

"Just promise me you will give it some thought," Kaiba said judiciously after another short silence.

"S-Seto, wait." Jou replied softly, "That didn't come out right." He took a deep breath. "I felt something too last night, something that I really liked. I'm just wrung out right now. But ... maybe we could start off slow. Just hang out together and see what happens?"

"I think that's reasonable, Katsuya. We will need to spend time together anyway, due to our familial obligations." Kaiba said mildly.

"And you're okay with this?"

"Yes I am, Jou." Kaiba replied evenly. "One more thing, while I have you on the phone, I've been thinking about what you said last night. I'd like the name of someone to see ... about the attacks I experience."

"Oh, yeah, sure. You got a pencil?"

 

Kaiba hung up the phone and gazed thoughtfully out of the windows of his office. When he'd left Jounouchi the previous night, he'd already decided that he wanted to see him again. By the time he had made it back into his limousine his mind had been reeling from the sensations of Jou's hot tongue, and hotter body. He felt his pulse quicken at the thought of how good it felt to be pressed against Jounouchi, feeling the heat of his body, and the tension of his muscles underneath his clothes as they rippled and bunched. Kaiba'd had the idea that the blond would be a passionate lover, but he'd been ill prepared for the electrifying experience that kissing Jou would be. He'd been left with an exquisite hunger that he knew instinctively only Jounouchi could sate. And now he would have an opportunity to find out just how satisfying a lover the blond could be.

He knew that laying his cards on the table and telling Jou that he wanted him was a gamble, but Kaiba had not become the successful businessman he was without a keen ability of sensing and making the right decisions. What he knew of the blond was that he was loyal and honest, and demanded the same from his friends and family. The quickest way to insult him was to play him for a fool, and Kaiba knew that if he pursued Jou secretly, based on the history they shared, it would leave to chance the possibility that his actions could be misconstrued as some kind of cruel joke. Even now there was still that likelihood, but the CEO knew that in time, as his actions matched his intentions, that too would diminish.

He felt the adrenalin rush through his body as he anticipated the chase that would precede the capture of Jounouchi's heart. It was addicting to Kaiba, and had proven his downfall on more than one occasion. His past was littered with lovers and corporations that he'd pursued doggedly, only to find that once the quest was over and they were his, he was no longer interested, nor could he figure out what he'd seen in them that had been so enticing in the first place. A wave of apprehension surged through the brunet--it would be more than disappointing if his pursuit of Jounouchi shared the same fate. His chest ached at that thought, and he pushed it aside, instead focusing on the steps he would lay out as he wooed Jounouchi Katsuya.

 

'When one door closes, another opens.' Jounouchi didn't know why that quote popped into his head, but he repeated it over and over silently as he tried in vain to focus on his research and not on the delicious shivers that speaking with Kaiba had caused to course through his body. There was no way he was going to get much work done on his dissertation in this state. He leaned back in the stiff library chair, balancing it precariously on its hind legs, and stared blindly at the computer screen in front of him that was filled with reference article citations. He remembered when he first heard the statement that had lodged in his consciousness. His grandfather had said it to him after his parents' divorce was final and he'd been banished by his mother to live with his dad. He sighed deeply as the old pain from those days surfaced. He felt raw and wounded and knew he needed time to heal. But there were times when he thought those injuries would never mend. Sure they scabbed up and the pain dulled, but it never disappeared completely.

Ryou had once told Jou that one of the things he'd found most endearing about him was that despite his wretched past, he was still able to give of himself fully and passionately in all of his relationships. That in spite of all the mistreatment he'd suffered, or maybe because of it, he'd chosen a career path in which he'd be able to help others who had suffered from the same misfortunes.

He shook his head and grimaced. Ryou. He felt a dull throb in his chest and imagined it was his heart breaking. Why had he fallen so hard for the slender Englishman? He'd never given him so much as a second look in high school--not that Ryou wasn't exotic and beautiful--he'd just been so ... flat, so subdued, so unlike anyone Jou would find the least intriguing. It had been easy for Jounouchi to overlook him. But that night when Ryou had come to Jou for solace and protection, something had inexorably shifted. Jou still couldn't put his finger on it for sure, but he had a good idea it had to do with the neediness and vulnerability Ryou had exhibited. Ryou needed and Jou needed to be needed. It had not been unlike the unguarded moment he'd witnessed in Kaiba the previous night and his reaction to it. And now he found himself drawn to Kaiba, and considering the possibility of a relationship with him. He wondered grimly what exactly attracted him to the brunet. Was it his anti-heroic personality, that of the loner and outcast that Jou longed to nurture, or was it that hint of vulnerability that Jou'd years ago intuitively felt underneath the patina of indifference that he needed to worry away. Or was there some other reason? Maybe it was because of the things Mokuba had told him of Kaiba's childhood and adolescence, things so similar to his own upbringing, and yet far harsher than anything he'd experienced at the hands of his own parents that caused him to genuinely admire the brunet. But did any of it really matter, could he truly hope to disentangle the contorted threads of reasons of why he wanted to be with Kaiba Seto? Was it even necessary?

'When one door closes, another opens.' He said to himself again. He'd certainly closed the door on any hopes of a renewed relationship with Ryou. If the previous night hadn't seen to it, he knew at this point even if Ryou did come back to him, he would never accept him-the white-haired man's betrayal had been complete. Jou would never trust him again. Yet, at the same time he could still maintain that he did not hate his ex-lover for following his heart, as ill advised as he thought it was. So why shouldn't he follow his own desires? Didn't he deserve to find happiness? One door had closed, and another was opening, beckoning him to take his chances on the brunet who'd occupied most of his adolescent yearnings.

***

Jou sat at the bar next to Honda nursing a club soda, determined not to drink for a third night in a row, determined not to fall into the pattern of using alcohol as a crutch in the same way that his father had. It was late, but he'd promised to meet his best friend at their favorite watering hole after he'd finished his shift at Chez Pierre.

He knew to beg off would only prolong the inevitable. As Honda had intimated earlier, he had some serious explaining to do. And explaining had been something he'd been doing all day. It seemed everyone in the world that he knew had seen that goddamned picture and had to find out if it was true. He'd fielded calls from his mom, Shizuka and his father among others, the latter having a few choice words for how his 'homo boy' had embarrassed and disgusted him once again. They'd ended up in a shouting match and he'd had hung up on the old man. Fucking prick, Jou had fumed. As if ~he~ weren't a world-class embarrassment in his own right.

It had been a long day, but the end was not yet in sight. After working on his research, he'd met with Dr. Watanabe to discuss the progress he was making on his dissertation. There were still some details he needed to iron out before he would be ready to submit and defend it, but overall she was happy with how it was coming along.

When he left Honda, he would work on it for a while before dropping, exhausted, into bed. He was thankful for his busy schedule, thankful he could shelve the mixed emotions roiling through his mind until he was ready to face them.

His mentor had mentioned that Kaiba had called her to set up an initial consultation, explaining to her that he had obtained her number from Jou.

"Are you okay with me working with someone you know, Katsuya?"

"Yeah, I recommended ya, didn't I?"

"Do you think Kaiba Seto will be alright with our relationship?"

"I don't know. I was surprised Kaiba actually asked me for a referral. Ta tell ya the truth, he's not too keen on therapists. I think he has some trust issues."

"Well I'll be very upfront with him, and offer another referral if he's in the least bit uncomfortable. Have you given any thought to what I said about Aiko?"

"Umm, I don't know. As I told ya before, I don't think that I'm exactly parent material."

"Do you think she'd be better off living here until she reached majority?"

Jou shifted nervously from foot to foot before acknowledging Dr. Watanabe's point. "But the question is, can I handle being her parent? I don't exactly have the greatest role models ya know."

"Yes, but you have an opportunity here to set things right. I know you've had a difficult childhood, Katsuya, but I see how you are with her, and she is with you--it's more than a therapist-patient relationship. It's obvious you love her, and she is very attached to you. How would you feel if someone else fostered or even adopted her and you never got to see her again?"

He paled at her comments. He could live with Aiko staying at the orphanage where he'd be able to see her as often as he liked, even after his contract was done. In fact, he was looking forward to just spending time with her as an adult figure rather than as her therapist. But the idea that he might never be able to do that hit him like a body blow.

His mentor must have sensed his dismay because she added quickly "Not that the orphanage has had any serious inquiries. But Aiko is coming out of her shell--she's a bright girl and a gentle soul. I think it's only time before someone looking to raise a family notices what a special little girl she is."

Jou sighed in frustration. "But I don't even have a decent place for her to stay. I live in a one-room studio."

"Katsuya, do you think people who have babies wait until everything in their lives is perfect? If they did, the human race would have died out long ago. You can offer her a loving environment, all the rest--childcare, where she will sleep, where she will go to school--are things you can work out. There are many solutions, and a network of social services to help you choose the right ones."

She was right. Seeing Aiko's smile filled his heart with immense joy and he ached whenever he saw tears slip from her eyes. She'd had a terrible life and he'd do anything for her to make it better. The only thing truly holding him back from taking the step to become her parent was his own insecurity--he was afraid he would turn out useless and drunk, just like his father had. He'd spent his early adulthood checking his behavior against that of his old man's-comparing and contrasting the way he handled the obstacles of his own life to the way he'd observed his father's actions and reactions to the ones that had defined his. Logically, Jou knew that it was unlikely at this point for him to slide into the deep hole his father lived in, yet his immediate reaction to any situation outside his comfort zone was to doubt his own abilities.

"I just need some more time to think about it." He said finally. "It's a big commitment, bigger than any I've ever made. I want to be sure I can do it, because it wouldn't be fair to send her back if I made a mistake." He looked at his mentor and she smiled warmly at him.

"You know I would not have considered asking you if I didn't believe you could handle it."

"Thanks Dr. Watanabe, I just hope your confidence in me is well-placed."

"Trust me Katsuya, it is. I wouldn't have agreed to mentor you if I didn't see your almost unlimited potential. While you don't sell yourself short as a therapist, you've certainly made a fine art out of it in your personal life." Her appraisal of his behavior had left him speechless. It wasn't really anything he didn't know about himself, but he was unnerved to be read so thoroughly and accurately.

Afterwards he had gone to work his shift at Chez Pierre. There he pointedly ignored the whispers behind his back, deciding that the best strategy was to not offer any excuses unless someone had the nerve to ask, and since he was running the kitchen for the shift, no one wanted to irk him. No one wanted to be assigned the myriad of lousy jobs he could think of that needed to be done before the restaurant closed.

Jou did his best to listen to Honda as he excitedly went on about his plans with Otogi for a much-needed vacation. They were set to spend a few weeks traipsing about the islands of French Polynesia, and were leaving in a few days. Jou felt a pang of envy for his brunet friend; Honda and Otogi had been together since shortly after they'd met-Jou forlornly wished that he had years of a stable relationship under his belt.

He knew Honda had been studiously avoiding asking him about Kaiba, but Jou could tell that the topic was the 400-lb gorilla in the room. He sighed deeply, and Honda broke off his monologue in mid-sentence.

"Jou, would you rather I not go away?" He asked earnestly. "You know I'll stay with you if you really need me to."

"Yah" Jou snorted, shaking himself from his musings. "Like Otogi would let you off the hook. He'd kill me first." He smiled at his friend. "Really Hon, I'm gonna be okay over this."

Honda put his hand on Jou's shoulder. "Of course you are," he smirked. "From what I hear, you already have a certain CEO lined up."

"I knew ya couldn't refrain from bringin' that up!" Jou exclaimed in mock exasperation.

"Aww c'mon Bud, I waited at least ten minutes."

"Ok, well it ain't what it seems ta be in that picture." Jou defended. He saw Honda's eyebrows arch in disbelief and before the brunet could interject, he added "But I'd be lying to you if I told ya a certain gorgeous brunet didn't lock lips with me last night."

"He. Kissed. You." Jou could see his friend's face cloud with anger.

"Well technically, I kissed him and then he kissed me back."

"What're you, stupid or something?" Honda blurted, and then, as he saw the hurt look on Jou's face he modulated, "What I mean is, you just got out of a relationship, Jou. Now is ~not~ the time to get into another."

"Ya think I don't know that?" Jou replied defensively. "Ya really think I'm that stupid?"

"No, I just think that sometimes you think too much with your heart, not your head, especially when it comes to relationships." Jou knew Honda was right on that account.

"Look, I told him I'm not ready for it."

"You mean he asked you out?"

"No, not in so many words. He just made it clear that he was ... interested in me."

"Jou man, do you think he might be setting you up?"

"Nah, I thought a lot about that, and honestly, there's too much at stake. We're gonna be related. It would be totally fucked up for him ta play that kind of a game. Mokuba would kill him if Shizuka didn't get to him first. Y'know, Hon, it took a lot of balls for him ta lay it on the line like that."

"Yeah, well that's one thing he's never lacked."

Jou smiled at his friend as he was struck with a sudden realization. "You're okay with it otherwise, aren't you?"

"Whaddya mean?" Honda looked at him, confused.

"Well, you got upset because I'm not ready for a relationship, not because I would consider one with Kaiba." Honda took a deep quaff of his beer, and stared into the mirror behind the bar.

"C'mon Honda, spill." Jou eyed his friend through the mirror and waited impatiently for him to respond.

"Well at first I was royally pissed at the thought of that cold-hearted bastard taking advantage of you."

"Hon, it wasn't-"

"Will ya let me finish?" Jou sipped his club soda as Honda continued.

"But then when Otogi called me today and I told him about it, he pointed out that he'd always thought there was some kind of chemistry between you two that had nothing to do with ~hating~ each other. He said it was the way you used to check each other out when you thought the other wasn't looking."

They sat in silence for a few minutes then Honda persisted. "Then I began to think about it, and what he said began to make sense to me. No one's ever gotten under your skin the way Kaiba could, and no one ever riled up Moneybags like you. If you hated each other so much, ya just would have avoided each other. Instead you both ~looked~ for ways to be in each other's face."

"So Einstein, what about the last eight years, then?"

"Well, now that you mention it Bud, that did throw me." Honda smiled. "But I've known you a long time, I bet I know you better than anyone, and I remember very well all the time that you've spent avoiding your old man and your mom."

Jou felt the color drain from his face. He never thought his behavior was that obvious. But in the past day he'd learned that Kaiba, Dr. Watanabe and Honda all had accurate impressions of his actions and motivations. Christ, Otogi, who barely knew him back then had seen right through him. He sighed in defeat. There just wasn't any point to lying about it.

"You're right. I've been attracted to Kaiba since I met him. It wasn't love at first site, more like I just wanted to get into his pants. It's how I finally figured out that I was gay. But I thought he hated me, and I got tired of all his insults and all the humiliation. After high school it just became easier to avoid him than to mess with him all the time."

Honda nodded and waited patiently for him to continue. "But last night, some things happened ... I can't really go into details, but I think we have a shot at something, Hon. I really do. Now tell me how wrong I am. After all, you were right about Ryou."

Honda shrugged his shoulders. "I can't, Bro. The timing may not be right, but I have a gut feeling Rich Boy is."

"Shit Hon, I was hoping you'd give me a few good reasons to run in the other direction. I'm scared shitless right now."

"I think that's a good sign." Honda replied with a smirk. "We all know the trouble you get into when you're feeling cocky."

"Yeah, okay thanks." Jou grumbled. They drank in companionable silence for a while before Jou asked, "Hey, how did it go at your interview today?"

Honda smiled broadly. "I flipped him within ten minutes, the asshole. He was crying like a baby by the time I was through. That little girl will never have to look at his face again."

Relief washed over Jou. Aiko would not have to face her mother's killer in court. Now his therapy sessions with her could focus on her coming to terms with what she'd seen and experienced, without the specter of her inevitable appearance on the witness stand. It hit him though, that if he did decide to foster Aiko, he would no longer be her therapist, he would need to find someone else for her. He smiled to himself as he realized he was beginning to think like her father would.

"Hon, can I ask you a personal question?"

"Of course, Jou. Shoot."

"Have you an' Otogi ever thought about raising kids?"

Honda looked at him quizzically. "No, not really. We're having too much fun right now to tie ourselves down with a family. Maybe in a few years we'll settle down and think about it. Why do you ask?"

"Can you see me raising a kid?"

"I watched you practically raise Shizuka, that's not a stretch."

"I'm thinking about adopting Aiko." Jou said finally, and realized that he'd been holding his breath. He felt a weight lift from his chest at his proclamation.

Honda arched his brow. "Won't that put a damper on your career?"

"Not any more than it would any other single parent. I think I could work things out for the best."

"And how d'ya think Kaiba would feel? "You just got through telling me that he has the hots for you and you're going to complicate matters by bringing a kid into the mix?"

"This really doesn't concern him." Jou snapped, though at the same time he knew Honda had voiced a doubt that was nagging at the back of his mind.

"If you say so Jou," Honda mollified. "I'm just saying, you might want to let him know sometime before you get into a relationship with the guy. It's only fair."

Just another thing to add to the pile, Jou thought. He drained his drink and left a few bills on the bar. "Listen Hon, I've gotta get going. I still need do some work when I get home." He hugged Honda goodbye and wished him a bon voyage.

"Okay, I'll bring you something back from Tahiti."

"Yeah, how 'bout a houseboy?" Jou requested with a smirk as he left the bar.

It was well past two by the time he arrived at his apartment and settled down in front of his laptop. He was exhausted, but felt the need to follow up some comments Dr. Watanabe had made. He promised himself he would work no more than fifteen minutes.

He booted the computer then went into his bathroom to brush his teeth and wash up before bed. When he came back, he was staring into a blank grey screen.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed and then pressed the power button to reboot. Once again after a few minutes it hung on a grey screen. He felt panic beginning to set in. He needed the computer to work-besides having all his files, some of which he'd not backed up, he would never make his deadline if he needed to rely on the computers in the University library, and he couldn't trust a repair shop to have his computer fixed in time.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" He shouted over and over as panic washed over him. He begged the computer to start, tears of frustration and exhaustion leaking from his eyes.

"This can't be happening to me," he groaned finally. He was no longer thinking straight--in his exhausted, overwrought state he couldn't begin to tease out a solution to his computer's problem. He knew one thing and one thing only. The damn thing wouldn't boot and he was fucked. He was beside himself now, wracking his brain to figure out who could get him out of the jam that he was in. He knew of only one person who could solve his problem, and though he hated to impose, he reasoned this was an extraordinary circumstance. Before realizing the time and considering that he might wake Kaiba up, Jou dialed from memory the number to the estate, hoping against hope that the brunet would be willing and able to help him out.

***

Under the best of circumstances Kaiba was not a patient man. In fact, if one were to list his many enviable character traits, words such as the aforementioned patient, or empathetic, or compassionate, and all the meanings they implied would be passed over for more appropriate descriptors--gifted, or driven, or devoted.

As he listened to Jounouchi babble endlessly through the telephone earpiece, Kaiba summoned what he considered to be biblical proportions of patience in order to prevent himself from berating and upbraiding the blond for having the audacity to wake him up at 3am because his god-damned computer wouldn't boot.

It was his own fault really, he mused. When Mokuba had moved out the year prior, he'd dismissed his overnight staff, reasoning that since he was living alone now their services were no longer required. But on many nights, before retiring to bed, he would forget to engage the answering machine had replaced the person who had historically fielded the sporadic telephone calls that were received in the overnight hours. Besides, anyone who called usually called his cell number. No one called the home line except contractors. So when the incessant phone ringing had nudged him into consciousness, he'd become instantly alert, hoping against hope that it wasn't some official calling on behalf of his younger brother. As he'd raced toward the extension in the kitchen, which for some god-forsaken reason was the nearest one to his bedroom, images of a badly injured or maimed Mokuba haunted him. Instead of some official of some sort though, he'd been greeted by the panicked voice of Jounouchi.

"Kaiba, did I wake you?" he'd asked, rather stupidly, in the brunet's opinion.

"No, Jounouchi, I had to get up to answer the phone." There was silence as the meaning of his words sunk in.

"I-I'm sorry, but I didn't know who else ta call." Jou had continued, his words tumbling over each other. "My fucking computer won't boot, an' it has all of my files-"

"You called me at, what time is it? To tell me your god-damned computer won't start? Go to sleep Jounouchi," Kaiba had growled irritably, knowing that ~he~ wouldn't be getting back to sleep anytime soon. He was a miserable sleeper and suffered epic bouts of insomnia and knew sleep would prove elusive after being woken so suddenly. "We'll deal with this ... later."

"You. Don't. Understand. Kaiba. I need my computer NOW. It has my dissertation and ALL of my support files. I need it to work--my paper is due in ~two~ days. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT! Please" he whined, "say you'll help me?"

"I said I would. Tomorrow."

"I CAN'T WAIT 'TIL TOMORROW! Aren't ya listening ta me?"

He truly tried to be patient, but the raw emotion of the blond fueled his anger. He knew he should cut Jounouchi slack, but he was impossibly tired, and really, he didn't deserve to be spoken to this way, especially when Jou was begging a favor.

"Don't you back anything up?" He hissed. "Do you even know what file maintenance is?" He looked at the digital clock on the microwave. "You call me up at the ungodly hour of three am because ~your~ computer won't start and then think it's perfectly acceptable to scold ~me~? What the hell is wrong with you?" He snarled, and then banged his head against the kitchen wall in frustration. 'Patience,' he repeated over and over as a silent mantra, as he realized how much damage he could inflict with his razor sharp tongue.

He thought he'd been hung up on until he heard Jounouchi sigh. A few seconds later, the blond spoke measuredly, "I'm sorry Seto. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm just at the end of my rope with everything that's happened in the past coupla days. Plus, I've been working for eight years ta get to this point, and I'm scared, no, I'm terrified that I'm gonna blow it somehow. Just like now I think I've blown it with you, before we even got started." He sounded close to tears. "And I did back up the most important files," he added weakly.

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Stop it, Katsuya. You haven't blown anything!" He heard a sharp intake of breath, and continued before Jou could interrupt. "You woke me up in the middle of the night and started bellowing at me. It only stands to reason that I would get pissed off." It was his turn to breathe. "Now tell me what OS you're using." For some reason he found he wanted to diffuse the situation rather than let it escalate further. God he must be falling for the blond.

"I'm on a Mac. OS X - Panther." Jou answered quietly.

"And what exactly is the problem?"

"I TOLD YA-"

He held the phone away from his ear. "I know you told me it won't boot, but what happens? Give me details Jounouchi." He said sharply. He listened to the silence for a few seconds before Jou continued.

"It just hangs on a grey screen, I don't see the apple, and I never get to my desktop. Nothing." Kaiba heard the frustration in Jou's voice, and despite his annoyance at being woken up for something he was sure could have been avoided, he felt sympathy for the blond.

He sighed. Chances were it would be an easy fix. He'd become very familiar with the Apple operating system once they'd released OS X. It was an elegant system that allowed the end user much latitude in repairing these kinds of issues. He began to relax as he reasoned out the variables that could have caused the problem in Jounouchi's machine. He would need to stop by the office on the way to Jou's to pick up a couple of CDs.

"Do you have the OS install CDs?"

"Yes, but you're NOT-"

"Don't worry, it won't come to that." Kaiba reassured. "I'll be over within the hour. And Katsuya, you owe me for this."

"Thanks, Seto." Jou replied softly. "I'll make it up to ya."

"Indeed you will."

By the time he arrived at Jounouchi's the blond had ratcheted up his panic once more. Kaiba'd ridden his own bike over rather than wake up his chauffeur, and Jou had come out when he'd pressed the buzzer to be allowed entrance. As he was parking the bike, Jou came at him with a barrage of symptoms and suppositions.

"What kind of tea do you have?" Kaiba interrupted.

"Tea?" Jou echoed as they approached the door to his apartment.

"Yes, tea. Please make me some."

Jou lead him into the apartment and Kaiba glanced around curiously. It was tiny but well kept. The laptop had been left out on a counter that bisected the space. He glanced beyond the counter into the main living space of the apartment, noting the futon couch, TV, and the bookshelves packed with books, CDs and DVDs. He sat down on the stool in front of the laptop and inserted one of the disks he'd brought with him, and then pressed the button to boot up. He watched Jounouchi as he went about making a pot of tea, appreciating the grace with which he moved about the small space allotted to the kitchen. By the time the tea was ready, the program disk Kaiba'd inserted was running diagnostics on the hard drive. As he'd suspected, the problems were relatively minor.

He took a sip of the tea and watched Jou pace nervously around. "Why don't you put some music on?" He suggested.

Jou stopped mid-stride and headed over to his CDs. "Anything you want ta hear?"

"Just something to fill the silence, nothing too loud." Kaiba replied as he read the results from one of the tests from the screen. After a few seconds jazz horns filled the air.

"What is this?" he asked absently as he pored over a diagnostic report.

"Umm ... Wynton Marsalis 'In This House On This Morning'. So is it gonna be okay?"

"Yes, Katsuya. After I de-fragment the hard drive it should be fine." Jou let out an audible sigh of relief.

"Ya mean it?" He stood behind Kaiba, and Kaiba leaned back slightly and stretched his neck to look up at him. Sleep-deprived Jounouchi looked far better than Kaiba could have imagined in his wildest dreams.

"Yes," he replied, suddenly mesmerized by the honey eyes that implored him. He reached out for Jounouchi's hands and draped the blond's arms over his shoulders. He found their weight to be quite pleasant as he gently caressed the smooth skin of Jou's forearms.

"K-Seto, what're you doing?"

Kaiba closed his eyes and leaned back into the warm body behind him. "Collecting my payment." He smirked. He felt Jounouchi lean forward imperceptibly, felt him pressing his chest against his back as he tightened his arms around his shoulders. For the first time in a long while, Kaiba felt contented and relaxed.

Hands on his shoulders gently nudged him awake. "Seto, the program's done an' I need ta sit down. Why don't you stay? You can nap on my bed."

He lifted his head up from where it was resting on his forearms to see the blue background of the laptop screen. It took him a few seconds to remember that he was in Jounouchi's apartment and then to realize that he must have dozed off. "No, I need to get home."

"Un huh. You aren't going anywhere. You're too tired to ride, an' there's no point in waking up your chauffeur. When do you need ta get up? I'll wake you. C'mon." He laid his hand on Kaiba's forearm.

He allowed Jounouchi to lead him to the nearby futon, which had miraculously been opened. The music also had ended; it registered that he must have been asleep for a while. He knew it wasn't necessary for him to get up that early--he had no appointments scheduled until after lunch--and in his sleep-hazed mind he pondered what it might mean to wake up next to the blond. He smiled to himself. "Just wake me when you get up. The computer rebooted okay?"

"Yeah," Jou replied. "I'm just going to take care of a couple of things before I turn in."

Kaiba lay down on the mattress--it felt incredibly comfortable. Every bone, every muscle in his body was exceedingly tired. He was vaguely aware of his shoes and socks being removed. "What are you doing, Katsuya?"

"Making you more comfortable," Jou answered as he slipped a blanket over the half-asleep brunet. Kaiba rolled onto his side and settled his head into the pillow. "Just get some rest." Jou added as he leaned down and brushed Kaiba's cheek with his lips. He stood over the brunet, admiring how sexy he looked even in his semi-conscious state.

"You still owe me, Jounouchi," Kaiba mumbled as he drifted back off to sleep. He didn't hear Jou's soft assent.

Kaiba woke up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. He sat up, swung his legs over the side of the bed and stretched languorously. He glanced over his back and noted that the space next to him had not been slept in.

"Did I wake ya? I tried to be quiet."

He finished stretching slowly, trying not to let the disappointment of not waking up next to Jounouchi affect him. "No, the smell of coffee woke me."

"I made ya breakfast, I hope you like oatmeal. I was just about to wake you. How d'ya take your coffee?"

He watched as Jounouchi laid two bowls on the counter across from each other. "Oatmeal is fine, and I take my coffee with a little milk. Didn't you sleep at all?"

Jou looked at him and smiled sheepishly. "No, I pulled an all-nighter--hopefully the last of my university career." He shrugged his shoulders. "I can take a nap this afternoon."

"You have somewhere to be this morning?" Kaiba asked as he seated himself at the counter. The laptop was now closed and moved off to the left side, and a stack of papers had been laid on it. He glanced at the top sheet absently, recognizing Jounouchi's familiar schoolboy scrawl. He picked it up, reading it as Jou placed a steaming mug of coffee next to him.

"Yeah, the orphanage. Then I'll come back here and take a nap. Didja sleep okay?"

He pulled himself away from the text--Jou's notes and questions on his dissertation. He met Jou's gaze, noting the tired lines around his eyes. "Yes, it was quite comfortable. Thank you for breakfast."

"It was the least I could do," Jou glanced away.

They ate in silence for a while. Kaiba was enjoying the fresh coffee and hot cereal that Jounouchi had prepared, while enjoying equally, contemplating the blond opposite him, who was doing his best to avoid conversation, and looking at him.

"Is there something on your mind Katsuya?" He asked finally.

Jou froze and stared at him. "No. I mean yes. I was wondering how I was gonna repay you."

Kaiba smiled softly. "How about dinner and a movie? My treat this time."

"A date?"

"No, as friends. I thought we agreed to take it slow." He gazed at Jounouchi, assessing his reaction. He noticed that Jou had visibly relaxed.

"That sounds nice. Maybe Sunday?"

Kaiba thought for a moment. "I'll need to look at my schedule-" He stopped himself. "Actually, Sunday will be fine. I'll pick you up at seven."

"Seven it is." Jou drained his mug and ran his fingers through his hair. "I need a shower, are you gonna get going?" He stood and stretched.

"In a few minutes. This was nice ... breakfast, here, with you." Kaiba said awkwardly.

Jou flashed him a smile. "It was-is." He stepped toward the bathroom door, and then turned again to face Kaiba. "So, I'll see you Sunday."

"That you will." He sat for a few moments, listening to the muffled sounds of Jounouchi preparing the shower. He was disappointed, but only mildly so. He'd secured some time alone with Jou, time that he could spend charming and seducing the blond. He smiled to himself, luxuriating in the tiny shivers that ran up and down his spine as he anticipated a spring and summer filled in dogged pursuit. His cell phone chirped in his pocket and he answered it with slight annoyance.

"Seto, where are you?" Mokuba's disembodied voice demanded. "Are you at Jou's?"

"Why Mokuba? It's really not your concern where I-"

"Seto, turn on the TV."

He searched vainly for the remote, and finally gave up and turned the set on manually. "What channel?" He asked, as a growing sense dread enveloped him.

"Doesn't matter." Mokuba answered, but Kaiba could already see that. The news feeds were all the same, all showing the same familiar security gate, with his motorcycle parked just inside. "Seto, didn't we talk about this? You said you were going to take it slow." He admonished.

"You are so not giving me dating advice. You've only had one girlfriend--"

"And if you'd listened to your heart in high school, your past wouldn't be littered with the detritus of your so-called relationships, Seto. Look, Jou is one of my best friends, and he's just broken up with his boyfriend-"

"Nothing happened, Mokuba." He said through gritted teeth. "He called me because his computer crashed. He was desperate. I helped him out."

"After yesterday? What were you thinking?" Kaiba groaned inwardly. It was apparent it had been a mistake to confide his feelings for Jounouchi to his brother.

"Obviously, I wasn't." Kaiba admitted reluctantly. He shook his head. It was painfully obvious to him that he'd never been able to think straight when it came to anything that involved Jounouchi. "But now we have a bigger issue on our hands. I want those reporters removed. Before Jounouchi sees them."

"Where's Jou right now?" And as if on cue, Jou burst out of the bathroom, naked and astonishingly beautiful. Kaiba felt his mouth go dry as he got an eyeful of what his overheated brain could only describe as perfection itself.

"Kaiba, what're you-" Jounouchi turned back to the bathroom and grabbed a towel to cover himself.

"Mokuba, take care of it, understand?" Kaiba barked into the phone.

"Yes, big brother. I'll get rid of them."

Jou reappeared, blushing madly, and Kaiba took in a gorgeous tattoo of a red eyes black dragon that graced and wrapped itself around one flawlessly sculpted shoulder and upper arm. He focused on the image intently, trying to avoid allowing his eyes to wander over the rest of Jou's exposed body, and was thankful that the blond had modestly covered up.

"Kaiba, what's-"

His cell rang and Jou answered it instinctively. From across the room Kaiba could hear a voice on the other end shouting at the blond. He watched as the color drained from Jou's face.

"I don't owe you of all people any god-damned explanations about my life and who I choose to be with!" Jou finally shouted. "I am not having this conversation with you. Not now, not EVER!" He slammed his phone shut and glanced past Kaiba to the TV screen.

"What the hell is that?" He snarled as he ran his fingers through his towel-dried hair, and rubbed his eyes as if to make the images on the screen disappear.

"What does it look like?" Kaiba answered evenly.

"What the fuck?" Jou exclaimed as he watched the media circus that was happening outside his apartment on the screen. "This can't be happening!" He sighed dramatically and threw himself into the chair next to his armoire.

Kaiba turned off the TV and walked over to Jou. "Nice tat." He commented as Jou glared up at him. He was at a loss for any words to comfort the blond.

"So now what?"

"Mokuba is going to take care of the reporters. It will just take a few minutes."

"Like that's gonna help. They ~aren't~ gonna let this go now."

"I guess it wasn't such a good idea for me to stay over." Kaiba said mildly.

"Ya think?"

"I'm sorry, but it ~was~ your idea, Jounouchi." He strained to reign in his growing anger. "You know, ~some people~ would be happy to be considered the significant other of a Kaiba. Your sister doesn't seem to have a problem with it."

"Yeah, well ~some people~ don't have a homophobic father on their ass about it." Jou crossed his arms over his exquisite pecs and continued to glare at Kaiba.

"Is that who telephoned?"

Jou looked off into space. "Yes. He's such a fucking bastard. I really didn't need this today." He rocked forward in the chair, deep in thought.

Kaiba squatted gracefully in front of Jou. "Mokuba is getting rid of them right now. It will all be over shortly."

Jou smiled softly at Kaiba and shook his head. "No it won't. This is only the beginning. But I better get used to it, huh?" He reached out and brushed Kaiba's hair from his eyes

***

Ultimately, Jou reflected as he drank coffee in his courtyard one warm sunny morning, Kaiba had been proven right. After a couple of weeks of intense scrutiny, the media attention had finally dropped off, and now, as summer approached, he was relieved that his name had become a mere footnote--an annotation to the name Kaiba--in the gossip columns and entertainment shows. The fanfare surrounding Mokuba and Shizuka's engagement announcement and the myriad public and private functions that were spawned from Japan's second-most eligible bachelor being officially taken off the market had been more than enough to satisfy the public's voracious appetite, and the parade of downcast starlets and daughters of business giants issuing tearful best wishes to the happy couple had come to dominate both print and the airwaves in the ensuing weeks.

If all the attention given to his brother bothered Kaiba, Jou mused, the CEO had been masterful in hiding it. But then again, he was probably relieved to some extent that he'd for once been relegated to the sidelines of a media feeding frenzy. While Kaiba suffered the media's attention begrudgingly, his younger sibling delighted in the attention lavished on him and his newly announced fiancée. But Mokuba had always been the light that offset Kaiba's darkness. Where Seto would gruffly answer reporters' questions as monosyllabically as possible, Mokuba seemed to relish the time he spent in front of them, joking with them, asking them about their families, and never hesitating to admonish any of them when he believed their questions were invasive or in bad taste. He never failed to correct reporters who would point out Shizuka's humble origins by reminding them of his own less than stellar childhood. Mokuba was a consummate politician, and Jou wondered idly that if the younger Kaiba brother had so chosen the life of a public servant, he would probably rise through the ranks and become prime minister.

Once the media attention had shifted, Jounouchi and Kaiba had settled into an easy-going if tentative friendship. It had not been without its rocky moments, though, and they were still feeling each other out in that regard. Jou had been more than a little reluctant when Kaiba had asked to read the draft of his dissertation, and after finally relenting, he'd been alarmed when Kaiba had, less than a week later, delivered to him a list of questions and comments about it.

"What the fuck is this?" He'd snarled as he scanned the single-spaced typewritten piece of paper Kaiba held out to him.

"Some questions and comments I had after reading your discussion section." Jou's face had drained of color. He'd already submitted the paper for review, and seeing the length of the list on the page Kaiba held in front of him sent waves of nausea rippling through his body. "It's not as bad as it looks." Kaiba had added.

"Oh yeah, whaddya you know?" Jou had barked, and then he'd become engrossed with the contents of neatly typed page.

Kaiba's grasp of his research had astounded him. Sure he'd talked at length about it, and Kaiba had asked him some rather astute questions about the topic-the affects of Alzheimer's-type dementia on lexical retrieval, but the questions and comments he'd composed had basically covered all the defense points he and Dr. Watanabe had gone over. He squinted hard at the brunet and shook his head.

"Is there a problem?" Kaiba had asked defensively.

"No, I just can't believe how fucking brilliant you are. Everything you've pointed out here, Dr. Watanabe and I have discussed, but we've been combing through this for months, and you just caught it in a couple of days, without really knowing about the subject beforehand."

"It's about time you admitted that." Kaiba smirked.

"Oh, and modest too, I might add." He scrunched up his nose. "Y'know you could have become just about anything ya wanted to-"

Kaiba snorted. "Oh really, Jounouchi. All I ~wanted~ to become was the best duelist in the world. ~That~ never happened." Kaiba added sourly.

Jou was stunned at the tone in Kaiba's voice, and his emphasis on his formal last name clued him in that he'd hit upon a sore spot. "I thought ya'd gotten over that, Seto. You guys are friends now - ya even hired him..."

"I have," Kaiba had replied coolly. "It's just that you throw these phrases around so carelessly. You have no idea what it was like to be me back then." He shook his head in annoyance.

Jou had recognized that Kaiba was spoiling for a fight, and at one time he would have baited the brunet mercilessly. He'd never considered how important being the best duelist had been to Kaiba. Sure he had known that losing to Yugi had bothered the brunet to no end, but Jou had always looked at Kaiba's failure to best his diminutive rival as the one unattainable thing that the rich brat Jou had thought Kaiba to be couldn't buy. But now in hindsight, coupled with the knowledge of the life that Kaiba had endured under his cruel stepfather, Jou had felt guilty in retrospect for the pleasure he had taken in Kaiba's defeats at the hands of his best friend.

"You're right." He had said finally, hoping to diffuse the tension. "And I'm sorry I was so thoughtless." Kaiba had narrowed his eyes as he weighed the sincerity of Jou's apology, considering for a moment he was being facetious. But Jounouchi had only gazed back at him evenly, almost as if he had been willing the brunet to believe that he was being truthful.

There had been other incidents as well, Jou thought, but they were becoming fewer and farther between. And while he was still probing the boundaries of Kaiba's privacy, and still managed to annoy the hell out of the CEO more often than he liked, Jou found that besides the physical attraction he'd always felt toward Kaiba, and the satisfaction that his proximity brought, he was actually enjoying spending time with him as well. It didn't hurt that most of the functions he went to with Kaiba also included Mokuba and Shizuka, and often the Jounouchi siblings would spend the lion's share of the evening together commiserating about life in the fishbowl that was Japanese high society, and marveling that they'd somehow managed to find themselves in the midst of it.

But there were other benefits to being Kaiba Seto's friend and possible love interest. There were the times when it was just the two of them, dining, clubbing, or taking in a show, evenings where he felt more comfortable than he'd ever felt with another person, nights that ended with an indescribable longing for something more as he either left Kaiba's company or watched as the brunet receded from his view.

He wondered idly if Kaiba were still interested in him physically, because since that night they'd first kissed, with one exception, Kaiba had been nothing but a perfect gentleman. He smiled as he remembered fondly their second kiss. It had been the afternoon of the day he'd successfully defended his dissertation and been notified that he'd completed his candidacy for his PhD. Afterwards, in his excitement to share his news, he'd called Kaiba, and the brunet had told him he'd send the car to get Jou and that they would celebrate. When the car had arrived, Jou had been pleasantly surprised to see Kaiba himself inside, in his hands a small box that he'd proffered to the blond.

"Congratulations, Dr. Jounouchi," Kaiba purred. Grinning, Jou sat next to him and gingerly opened the expensive-looking box. Inside was a stunningly beautiful watch--unlike anything he'd ever seen. The shape of its dial was a modified rectangle with sides that bulged out convexly. The face itself was black with fine silver threads scalloping out in concentric patterns from the center of the dial. The whimsical Arabic numerals were painted glow-in-the dark green and were sized to fit in their respective positions around the perimeter, and inside them in a circular motif were the numerals of a perpetual calendar. The manufacturer's name was imprinted in script below the month and day apertures. The strap looked to be of the finest quality black leather. He lifted it out of the box and turned it over to unfasten the buckle and saw that the backside of the watch, instead of being solid, was covered in crystal, revealing the fine mechanisms within. Around the metal case had been engraved: "To Dr. Jounouchi Katsuya on the occasion of the successful completion of his doctoral studies. With great fondness, Kaiba Seto"

Jou stared dumbly from the watch to the brunet and back again. "It's one-of-a-kind, just like you Katsuya." Kaiba said softly.

"I-I don't know what to say..."

Kaiba smiled at him warmly. "Jounouchi Katsuya speechless. That in itself is worth the--"

Jou never allowed Kaiba to finish his statement-instead his lips inexplicably descended upon the brunet's. Jou kissed him soft and tentative, but in a few short seconds the passion that flared between them had threatened to consume them both. Much to his dismay, Kaiba broke off the kiss just before he'd wriggled Jou out of his shirt and pants. "Mmm nnnhh," Kaiba had gasped shaking his head and regarding Jou's flushed cheeks and lust-filled eyes. "Time enough for that later, tell me all about the defense."

They'd spent hours that day talking as the car drove them aimlessly around. Jou had found the courage to tell Kaiba about Aiko and his plans to adopt her, and the brunet had taken him completely by surprise with his reaction.

"She must be a very special little girl to have captured your heart. I'd like to meet her sometime..." Jou's heart had been filled with joy, and he'd noted that Honda had been wrong on this account.

"Really? Ya don't think I'm in over my head with this?" He'd asked tentatively.

Kaiba had shrugged and looked out the car window. "That's not for me to say. What I can say is that anything is better than growing up in an orphanage."

"Anything?" Jou had echoed softly, thinking about the nightmare that he knew had been Kaiba's life after Gozaburo had adopted him and Mokuba. He was taken by surprise with the vehemence of Kaiba's response.

"Yes, ~anything~" He'd snarled.

They drove for several minutes in silence before Jou ventured, "Have you ever thought of adopting someone?"

Kaiba laughed bitterly. "Why, so they could just-" He stopped himself mid-sentence before continuing quietly, "No, I've never given it that much thought." Jou sensed that Kaiba was slamming a lid on some deep-rooted emotion and for a moment considered probing it further.

And then the brunet had surprised him again. "I'm sorry Katsuya," He turned his face toward Jou, and the blond could see he was close to tears. "The stress of the past few weeks has been immense..."

"D'ya wanna talk about it?"

Kaiba looked at him searchingly but then replied dismissively, "No, that's what I pay Dr. Watanabe for. Besides, we're supposed to be celebrating your achievements today, where would you like to eat? My treat, of course."

They'd bickered about dinner--Jou protesting that the watch that now graced his wrist was far more than he'd expected or deserved, and Kaiba refusing to take no for an answer-until they'd compromised and had eaten at a restaurant of Kaiba's choice. Afterwards the sleepless nights that Jou had spent anticipating the defense had caught up with him and he ended up falling asleep in the limo after dinner with his head in Kaiba's lap, and the brunet running his fingers through silk-spun gold as Jounouchi snored softly into the evening.

Since then Jou thought, sometimes he would catch Kaiba in an unguarded expression and he could see pure lust darkening the blue of Kaiba's eyes. That palpable hunger would send shivers of anticipation down the blond's spine. But those moments were fleeting, and were invariably followed by Kaiba's careful mask of neutrality; often Jounouchi was left to speculate if he'd seen anything in the other's eyes at all.

Up to this point he really had no complaints about the lack of a physical dimension to their relationship. His life had been filled with obligations and preparation, but now, with his schooling behind him and his volunteer contract over, he found he had far more time on his hands than he knew what to do with, and far more time to think about one incredibly attractive Kaiba Seto. And while some of his newly-found spare time had been quickly eaten up by Shizuka, who'd insisted that he be a part of her wedding planning down to the most minute, mind-numbing details, he often found his attention drifting to thoughts of the sexy brunet and what he could be doing and possibly thinking at the same moment in time. He recalled the time he'd accompanied Shizuka as she searched for a wedding dress. She'd long given up bringing their mother along, as the two women could not agree on any feature.

"Oni-chan," she pouted as she came out of the dressing room. "Stop mooning over Seto-kun and tell me what you think of this dress." She ignored the blush that colored Jou's cheeks and continued. "Mother absolutely refuses to pay for it, but I love it. I have to figure out a way to afford it." Shizuka rustled the silk taffeta of the skirt as she turned in her place. She looked absolutely stunning in the form-fitting gown and his heart clenched both in pride and protectiveness as he took in the picture she presented. Of course their mother would give her a hard time, Jou fumed. For her, it was always about control, and she was loath to allow Shizuka her moment of happiness without the requisite angst and strife.

"You're right," he sighed. "It's perfect. How much is it?" The price had nearly given him a heart attack. It would be pennies for the Kaibas to afford, but Shizuka had stubbornly insisted that the Jounouchis would pay all those things traditionally taken care of by the bride's family. The only exception being the wedding reception-Mokuba's stature made it all but impossible for anyone but royalty to afford that.

She looked at Jou tearfully. "I have about half of it saved and ~she~ refuses to give me the rest. She thinks Mokuba should pay. She thinks we shouldn't pay for anything since the Kaibas are so wealthy."

Jou grimaced. He couldn't refuse her on this, her wedding dress. He was after all her 'father' for the occasion. He would be giving her away to Mokuba, not their drunken old man. It would decimate the savings that he'd spent years building up, but he knew he could give her this one thing. "Are you sure this is the one?"

"Yes, I've tried on hundreds of dresses, and they all pale in comparison. This is the one I want." He saw that she was near tears.

"Then that does it. It's yours." He shrugged nonchalantly. She stared at him until the meaning of his words sunk in, and then she threw her arms around him.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Jou-kun! You are the best brother ever! You make me so happy!" She cried.

"Aww c'mon 'Zukie," he said affectionately, "It's not that big of a deal. Nothin's too good for my little sister." And it had been too good of an opportunity to pass up rubbing in his mother's face that ~he~ could provide for his sister what she ~wouldn't~.

Jou drained his cup and headed inside. Today he was to spend the day with Aiko at the mall--an excursion for both of them to become acquainted with the roles of parent and child--and tonight was the 'official' engagement party-the one for all of the various business acquaintances and dignitaries that the Kaiba brothers knew. In a couple of weeks, he would be hosting a much smaller gathering for all of Mokuba and Shizuka's friends. At least tonight, Yugi would be there along with Honda, who would attend as Otogi's date. He glanced over at the tuxedo he'd rented and sighed as he imagined how gorgeous Kaiba would look in his.

He frowned then as a feeling of unease settled over him. He was worried that his father would make a scene; he'd not spoken to him since he'd hung up on him weeks ago. And then there was Kaiba himself, who'd successfully deferred any discussion of their siblings' upcoming nuptials. He'd made it clear to Jou that the topic was off limits as conversation, and Jou only hoped that the brunet had at least been working out his misgivings in the therapy sessions he'd been having with Dr. Watanabe. He shrugged off the malaise as best he could, only to be left with the fatalistic view that something bad was going to happen. He only hoped that he would be able to ameliorate any damage that occurred.

***

Jou stood in front of the mirrored door of the armoire, fiddling with the bowtie of his tuxedo. No matter how many times he re-tied the damned thing it sat crookedly at his throat. He sighed in frustration before slipping on the jacket and pausing once more to run his fingers through his unruly hair in a half-hearted attempt to tame it. A limo had been hired to chauffeur him, and he was glad, not only because the bike was still his sole source of transportation, but also because he was incredibly nervous and couldn't imagine driving himself to the gala under any circumstance. In fact, he couldn't recall a time when he'd been more worried in general, and specifically about his appearance; or more accurately, what Kaiba would think of him when he laid his eyes upon the blond. The CEO always managed to be astonishingly put together in any situation, almost irksomely so, and for once Jou wanted to show him that he could clean up just as well. But if the recalcitrant bowtie were any indication, he wasn't off to such a good start.

He sank back in the plush back seat of the limousine practicing a relaxation technique of visualization similar to the one he'd coached Kaiba in, that first night months ago. He grinned thinking of that evening, of how hot Kaiba had looked, even in the throes of a panic attack. He remembered the kiss that evening had ended in and imagined just what would have happened if they hadn't parted at the door to his apartment, if Kaiba had accepted his invitation to stay.

He fantasized about how he would have shrugged Kaiba out of his sweater and spent time exploring the flawless plane of his chest, how transcendent it would have been to map it out with his tongue. He envisioned that Kaiba would have turned the tables quickly enough, and that would be just fine by him. He'd spent the previous year exclusively as a top, and would be far from displeased to be taken by Kaiba.

He groaned wantonly at that thought. Maybe it was time for him to nudge the relationship forward. He knew that he couldn't continue on this way indefinitely, he'd long since emotionally left Ryou behind, had even been so magnanimous as to invite his snowy-haired ex along with Malik to the second engagement party that he'd planned for the following week. That thought sent a wave of trepidation through his thoughts, so he turned once again to the scenario he'd started to build to distract him from the anxiety that was gnawing on his conscience.

Despite his icy exterior, Jou sensed that emotions ran deep in the other man. It had been that innate knowledge that had underscored his attraction to the brunet, drawn him to him, despite the insults and humiliations that Kaiba had heaped on Jou when they were adolescents. But in the new friendship they had hammered out within the parameters of becoming brothers-in-law, he'd begun to glimpse the depths of Kaiba's feelings, and those tantalizing flashes had only served to fan the flames of his infatuation with the CEO.

Jou mused that Kaiba would be both a forceful and attentive lover. He closed his eyes and daydreamed about how easily he would find it to melt under the brunet's touch--how Kaiba's elegant hands would slide over his body--he arched in pleasure and then growled in frustration as he realized how aroused he'd made himself. He looked out the window and noticed the car had come to a halt; they'd reached their destination and the driver was waiting in the drop-off queue. Jou was thankful that he'd worn briefs and that the tux jacket would cover his crotch until he'd become more ... presentable. That is, unless he ran straight into Kaiba, he snorted. Then all bets were off.

He turned his thoughts to the day he'd spent with Aiko, and immediately his heart was flooded with tenderness. He'd fallen head over heels for the little girl and was eagerly anticipating legally becoming her father. Kaiba had offered him the services of one of his attorneys, and Jou had gratefully accepted, and while the lawyer protested vehemently, the blond had been equally stubborn about setting up a payment plan for services rendered. He was sure that Kaiba wasn't allowing the lawyer to charge his full rates, or was subsidizing him in some way, but he resigned to take that up with the brunet some other time.

He and Aiko had taken a bus to a mall and had spent hours at the toy store playing with all the demo toys. He offered to buy her anything that struck her fancy, but in the end she'd settled for a fluffy tiger-striped kitten that she'd immediately named Rini, which she'd informed Jou over lunch had been the name of her cat before she came to live at the 'big house,' her description of the orphanage.

He was still discovering different facets of her past and though he was no longer treating her -- Dr. Watanabe had removed him from Aiko's case as soon as he'd let her know that he wanted to start adoption procedures -- he couldn't help but open a line of questions about Rini. It turned out that Rini had disappeared long before the fateful night when Aiko's mother was murdered, and Jou thought blackly that the woman's boyfriend probably had something to do with that too. He was filled with compassion and a sense of protectiveness for the four-year-old; she'd suffered more loss in her short life than most people ever experienced, and he wanted to make possible for her the kind of future she deserved.

All too soon, he'd found himself dropping her off at the orphanage. While he was there he checked in with the administrator on the status of his application, and was frustrated by the lack of progress. He'd be sure to check in with his lawyer to see if the process could be expedited in any way. Aiko was due to begin school in September and he only had the summer to find a bigger place and get her settled in.

The car had pulled up to the entrance of the Hilton Hotel, and the doorman opened the door for Jounouchi to step out. Mokuba had insisted that the engagement party for business associates be held in the elegant China Blue restaurant that graced the hotel's top floor and offered a commanding view of Domino City. It was a pragmatic decision as well; as all the guests invited from out of town along with the wedding party had been given overnight accommodations as party favors. If he hadn't planned on spending the day with Aiko, Jou would have spent it either poolside or in the luxury spa along with Shizuka as she prepared for the celebration. He snorted at that thought. Who was he kidding? If he'd checked in earlier, he would have been making a pest of himself with the kitchen staff of the restaurant, overseeing every detail. He was hit with a pang of sadness. He'd finally given notice at Chez Pierre and he knew he'd miss the job that had been the stability in his life as he transitioned from high school to college to graduate school. He'd wanted to lighten his workload for the summer, as much to spend time with Kaiba as Aiko. He was looking forward to the year-long internship he was to begin in the fall at the esteemed Domino City Children's Hospital, but the transition into a full-time clinical position had been causing him a fair amount of anxiousness.

"I'll take this to your room sir. The last elevator banque has been reserved for Kaiba guests, please proceed to the restaurant." The doorman handed Jounouchi his room-key and retrieved his overnight bag from the limousine trunk. He was still taken aback when treated with the courtesy that was afforded anyone who was affiliated with the Kaiba brothers; he wondered if after all the years he'd been looked down upon with suspicion (many times with good reason he admitted), he would ever get used to being treated with even a modicum of respect and deference. He supposed it was not only his alliance, but also the simple fact that he was getting older and becoming an upstanding citizen.

He followed the doorman's instructions and was soon being whisked skyward, along with several other party guests. The elevator doors opened up and the group spilled into the restaurant lobby. A wall of floor-to-ceiling windows gave a panoramic vista of the Domino City skyline at sunset. It was a spectacular view dominated by the shimmering Kaiba Corp building. Jounouchi and the other guests funneled into the restaurant dining room where Mokuba, Shizuka and Kaiba were greeting guests.

The Kaiba brothers looked amazing in their custom tuxedos, but Shizuka looked absolutely stunning. She was wearing a sleeveless green bamboo print silk chiffon gown that enhanced her green eyes and contrasted beautifully with her auburn hair. The figure-skimming material highlighted his sister's body in a most sophisticated way. Jou's heart swelled with pride as he gazed at her, so poised and radiant next to her intended. They really did make a great couple. He glanced at Kaiba, who was deep in conversation with another businessman, someone important no doubt, by the attention with which the brunet was paying to him.

He could tell from Kaiba's body language though that something was bothering him, there was a stiffness to his carriage that Jou had come to learn meant that the brunet was unhappy. He didn't need to be a rocket scientist to know that Kaiba had yet to fully come to terms with his brother's decision. But Jou had to give the brunet credit; he was doing his best to play the doting older brother.

He was thankful that he had not been enlisted to be part of the receiving line for this affair, and that he could seek out Honda, who'd more than likely stationed himself at the bar, and have a relatively relaxing evening. Or as relaxing as possible while ducking his father. He felt his stomach turn at that thought and prayed to whatever gods he could think of that the elder Jounouchi would be on good behavior. He probably would be fine as long as he avoided drinking. At least from the bar, Jou had a chance at keeping track of the amount of alcohol his father consumed. He waited behind the other guests as they were each greeted in turn, and wished once again that Shizuka had not been so insistent on inviting both their father and their mother, but she really was an idealist when it came to their parents. No, correction, Shizuka always looked for the good in everyone, it was part of her sweet nature.

As irate as his sister had been at Ryou and Malik for what they'd done to her older brother, she'd been the first in the gang to extend an olive branch to the couple -- of course, only after she'd run it by Jounouchi. He'd been rather relieved that the rift had been closed and the circle of friends was once again complete, even if he and Ryou had still kept to the habit of avoiding each other.

He greeted his sister and future brother-in-law, exchanging pleasantries and remarking on how great they both looked. Shizuka and Mokuba, though, were both far too distracted by the line that was forming behind him to engage in any meaningful conversation, so he hugged his sister and whispered in her ear how beautiful she looked and how proud of her he was before spying Honda sitting alone in the ambient blue light at the lacquered bar. Apparently Otogi was using this occasion to work the room, so the two old friends would get to spend some quality time together. As he passed by Kaiba, he heard the brunet excuse himself from the conversation, and a moment later he felt a tug at his arm.

"Where are you heading off to, Katsuya?" Kaiba's baritone sent thrills up the blond's spine, and he drank in how perfect and gorgeous the brunet looked. It was going to be a long night, he thought forlornly. Then a wicked thought crossed his mind, a long night indeed, if he could convince the brunet to come back to his room for a spell.

"I-I'm just heading over to the bar to hang with Honda." He replied. "Kinda getting myself out of the way."

Kaiba gazed at him evenly, and Jou was acutely aware of his slender fingers wrapped around his forearm, he sensed each individual digit through the thin material of his shirt and jacket. "I'll come by later." He said cryptically. Jou nodded in reply and headed over to Honda.

They passed the night agreeably, commenting on all the backslapping and elbow-rubbing. Every once in a while, someone would come over and introduce themselves to Jou, and he would be reminded that most of Japan thought he was Kaiba's significant other, in addition to the bride's brother. Not that that fact prevented a fair amount of young men and women from flirting shamelessly with the brunet, though Kaiba remained oblivious to the attention, effortlessly shifting from conversation to conversation like the perfect host that he was.

Yugi, stag for the occasion because Yami was in New York City curating an Egyptian exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, came over as soon as he'd made the required rounds of greeting business associates and clients. The three friends shared a round of drinks and enjoyed the butler-served canapés that came their way. The event had been choreographed to be a relaxed affair; there were some short speeches of congratulations from a few of the more esteemed guests, but mostly it was a time for Mokuba and Shizuka to mingle and allow his associates to become better acquainted with his fiancée. She handled all the attention well, engaging in animated conversation with anyone and everyone, basking in the attention without seeming to enjoy it overly. Once again, Jou was reminded of how perfectly his young friend and his sister were matched.

His mother cornered him as he was coming out of the men's restroom. "Katsuya, I think your father has had a bit too much to drink. I'd hate for him to make a scene." Jou rolled his eyes. Of course ~he~ was expected to keep the old man in line. It had been his job ever since she left him behind.

"I'll go have a little chat with him," he said resignedly. He'd been keeping an eye on his father all night and knew that his mother's assessment was probably accurate. He'd tried to get the bartender to slow down the steady stream of drinks, but his father had then started ordering from various waiters that he happened upon. As the hours advanced, Jou had noticed more and more his father's loud voice cutting obnoxiously through the dwindling crowd. So far he'd only been bragging about how proud he was of his "little girl," but experience told Jou that he could turn mean in a heartbeat.

"Oh, and Katsuya? Whatever possessed you to buy Shizuka her wedding dress?" He took a deep breath, he had known that little feat of insubordination would need to be addressed. He decided head on was best; he really didn't owe the woman much.

"It's the one she wanted, Mother." He said testily. "Why wouldn't ~you~ pay for it?" He could tell she hadn't expected his parry. Her green eyes narrowed dangerously, and for a moment he felt the intense panic that had gripped him as a child when she had been pissed off at him for some transgression. But he'd gotten over that years ago, and he held his ground.

"Whatever you think you need to prove." She said coolly. "Just go see about your father." She added, indicating their conversation was over. She slipped past him before he could reply.

He found his father returning from the bar with a fresh drink in hand. Apparently the old man had taken his son's absence as an opportunity for a refill. Jou would have found their intricate dance amusing if he wasn't living through it at the moment.

"Pops, I think it's time we get ya to your room." He said quietly as he intercepted him.

"Oh, so my ~gay~ son finally acknowledges my presence?" The older man slurred.

"Dad, this isn't the time or place-"

"Oh no, I think this place is as good as any. 'Sides you won't give me the time of day anymore. Where is your faggot lover anyway?" he added, his voice getting louder. He cast about looking for Kaiba in an exaggerated fashion and Jou prayed that the brunet was not within earshot. He saw the CEO across the room in deep conversation with a couple of older men. From the corner of his eye though, Jou caught the curious glances of nearby guests. Shit they were attracting attention. The last thing Shizuka needed was their father's behavior to end up reported in the gossip columns.

"Come on Dad, let's talk about this somewhere else before-"

"Before ~what~?" his father snarled. "Before ~I~ embarrass ~you~? My son who takes it up the ass is afraid I'm gonna embarrass him!" He called out to no one in particular. Jou glanced again at Kaiba, his stomach turning. The brunet had disengaged from his conversation and was making his way toward them. He had the distinct impression that things were about to get very ugly.

"The only one you're embarrassing is yourself!" Jounouchi hissed under his breath before he addressed his father. "Okay," he conceded, "You want to chew me out for who I am, and the life I lead, then let's go somewhere else. Let's not ruin Shizuka's party." He said in a conciliatory tone, not belying his irritation. He reached for his father's arm to steer him away from the approaching brunet. The older man pulled out of the blond's grip, and sucker-punched him. Before Jou had a chance to react, he was sprawling helplessly backwards, only to be caught by strong arms. Fuck, he'd forgotten how quick with a punch his old man could be.

"I got your back, Buddy," Honda assured him as he helped Jou get his balance. Relief washed over him, he could always depend on his hazel-eyed friend. He turned to see that Kaiba had grabbed his father by his jacket. He couldn't see the brunet's face but he watched in amazement as the surliness drained from his father's face to be replaced by fear before anger once again asserted itself.

"Lemme go Hon, I gotta stop him," he said obtusely, as he didn't know which of the two men would inflict more damage at this point. Honda relaxed his grip and shadowed Jou as he approached them.

" ... you were here for one reason only, despite your son's misgivings, your daughter wants you to be part of the celebration. Your behavior is inexcusable, and you are no longer welcome here." Kaiba said in his dead serious voice. "And let me tell you one more thing, you stupid bastard, if you ever lay a hand on your son like that again, I will make it my life's mission to ensure you wish you'd never been born. Am I-"

"Kaiba, let him go." Jounouchi said evenly. "I'm going to see my father to his room." When the brunet turned toward him, he was shocked at the anger in the other's face. For a moment Jou thought it was directed toward him. Honda stepped in and took hold of the older Jounouchi, moving him away from the pair.

Wordlessly Kaiba let his thumb traced Jou's cheek where his father's punch had landed, and once again Jou could see rage cloud his eyes.

"Fine Jounouchi." The brunet gritted and he spun away from the blond angrily.

"Seto?" Jou called after him.

He turned toward Jou and responded icily, "What is it, Jounouchi?"

"I-I'll be right back, 'kay?"

"Whatever. Just take care of your ~father~." He spat, leaving Jou to wonder why in the hell he was so pissed, and if he'd ever get an answer to that question. Honda shepherded the older man back toward his son, and as Jounouchi steered his now docile father toward the elevators, he hoped that Kaiba hadn't misconstrued his actions to be anything other than removing his father from the party before he caused any more of a spectacle.

By the time he had returned to the restaurant after listening to his father's rambling apologies and lamentations about his miserable life while managing to get him securely into the bed, Kaiba was nowhere to be seen, and no one seemed to know where the brunet had gone.

Finally in his frustration, he sought out Mokuba. "Do you know where Seto is?"

"Jou, he had to leave on a business trip tonight. You mean he didn't tell you?" His young friend asked in concern. He stood there dumbly, trying to recall if Kaiba may have mentioned an upcoming trip in passing.

"He probably just forgot," Mokuba recovered. "You know how my brother is about those kinds of details." He added unconvincingly.

"Yeah, I'm sure that was it." Jounouchi said flatly. He felt a sinking feeling in his heart as for the first time he seriously entertained that there would be no other level to his relationship with Kaiba. Dejectedly, he said his good-byes and drifted down to his room, sighing bitterly in the realization at just how off-base his idea of spending the night with the brunet had been. He slipped out of the rented tux, carefully hanging up its components so as to avoid any unnecessary charges, and then padded into the bathroom to wash up before bed.

***

It had been a spiteful thing to do, Kaiba acknowledged. He'd been mean and petty towards Jou without any just cause. He sighed deeply as he stared out his office windows at the darkening sky over Domino City. He knew his behavior had been typical in that regard; he'd always found a way to sabotage his relationship with anyone who managed to get close to him, anyone who made him feel like caring. The sole exception to this rule had always been Mokuba. He'd made the promise to himself that Jou was different; that he wouldn't act irrationally or hurtfully, and yet, he'd deliberately withheld the information from the blond that he was going away on an extended business trip.

He'd expected the phone call he'd received from Jounouchi the next morning that rousted him from a fitful sleep in a strange hotel room. He'd guiltily steeled himself for the ranting and raving he'd fully expected and deserved, more than ready to defend his behavior from Jou's accusations and counter them with insults and barbs. But he'd been completely unprepared for the sadness in Jounouchi's voice. There was no confusion or recriminations on the blond's part, just an acceptance of the brunet's conduct that pierced him to his very soul. It was impossible to pick a fight when the other refused to participate. Instead, Jou had laid bare his own heart, letting Kaiba know in no uncertain terms how he'd been affected by the CEO's actions. There had been no allegations or rebukes; the blond had just simply said, "It really hurt me that you didn't tell me you were going out of town."

For once he could think of no comeback to chide Jounouchi with. The words the blond had chosen had been perfectly neutral, and left little to be said other than 'I'm sorry.'

And so over the telephone, finding safety in the fact that he was in another country, he'd confessed that he didn't know why he'd been driven to act in such an injurious fashion. To which Jou had replied without rancor, "I hope that you consider working on that."

What had been the worst part of the whole debacle, he thought miserably, was that he'd completely forgotten about Jounouchi's graduation, and Jou now knew it too. Kaiba had been unable to explain away how he happened to plan a business trip that would coincide with the commemoration. He'd ended up cutting the business trip short-it had been unnecessary to begin with, more an excuse to escape from all the events and emotions in his personal life that made him feel hemmed in-and did get back in time for the ceremony. It had proven a fruitless concession; Jou had given his ticket to Honda. And to top it all off, in the week since he'd returned the blond had been inexplicably busy.

He knew he deserved the cold shoulder treatment he was getting. He'd more than asked for it, and no amount of rationalization on his part could change the fact that even he knew his behavior was indefensible. What he'd learned in the week that he'd been bereft of Jounouchi's physical company and their daily phone conversations was that he needed the blond, and not just in the carnal sense of the word. He realized he'd come to depend on the blond as a confidant and social barometer; he could always monitor his behavior with a quick glance in Jounouchi's direction. It wasn't that he was concerned with hurting the feelings of some business associate or his spouse--he could care less how the world viewed him. As long as Kaiba Corp. maintained its cutting edge releases, he remained unperturbed by his public reputation for being fierce and ruthless, but privately he found it important that Jou see him in a more favorable light.

He agonized over the thought that he'd snuffed out the fragile relationship that they'd forged, and vowed that he'd do all that was in his power to convince Jou that he was truly repentant for the way he treated him. He knew he'd secured another chance to make amends when Jounouchi had relented and agreed to let him help with the preparations for the second engagement party; the one that Jounouchi was hosting for the couple's friends. He was to meet Jou in the morning to go food shopping, and then they would spend the day together decorating Jou's space and preparing the menu for the feast.

He knew he should be happy for the opportunity to set things right, but instead for the first time in months, he felt the stirrings of a panic attack. He concentrated on the breathing exercises that he'd been taught by his therapist to use whenever he felt an attack coming on, relieved that he had an appointment with Dr. Watanabe in the evening. He hoped that he would be able to work through some of the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him, so he could approach tomorrow clear-headed and ready to accept whatever terms Jou was willing to set with him. Not that he would be happy to continue on as friends. It was becoming increasingly obvious and frustrating to him that he did indeed want to become intimately involved with the blond, no matter what the final outcome of their union may be.

It was almost time for his appointment. He logged off his laptop for the day and collected his things, slipping a small box into his briefcase; his graduation present for Jounouchi, a far less extravagant gift than the wristwatch he'd given the blond a couple of months prior. His lips tingled as he recalled the passionate kiss Jou had planted on his lips as thanks. That kiss had offered so much promise, and yet he'd been timid to move forward, not only because he did not want to be Jounouchi's rebound affair, but also because he dreaded the inevitable letdown he always felt when the chase was over, when he'd attained his goal. He'd come to realize that same sentiment also drove his appetite for expanding Kaiba Corp.-each acquisition, be it a company or talented employee, served only to make him hungry for the next conquest.

His inability to find satisfaction from living in the present was one of the things he'd talked about at length with Dr. Watanabe and he'd gained a better perspective of the mechanisms that drove the behavior; his surprisingly low self-esteem being the prime culprit. He'd been able to accept that some of that came out of the impossible demand his mother had made on him from her deathbed. Perhaps any other child would have shrugged off her plea that he 'take care of his brother,' but serious, solemn, five year-old Seto had taken those words to heart and then turned them into his life's mission. Whenever he'd failed, be it due to his own shortcomings or circumstances beyond his control, he'd berated himself, believing that his mother had misplaced her trust in him. Then there was the fact that he'd brought the abusive Gozaburo Kaiba into their lives. It was yet one more thing Seto could never forgive himself for.

He closed up his office and took the elevator down to his waiting limousine. He could feel the tension building in his body, and though he resented it, he was looking forward to his session; he would be able to relieve it in the safety of Dr. Watanabe's comfortable office. He still hated that he depended on someone else to help him, though he'd been able to keep his distaste for the situation in check since he'd begun to view it as a professional relationship. Dr. Watanabe was paid for her services, the same as he paid his lawyers and accountants.

At first he'd found it impossible to open up to her. He'd never told anyone his feelings before, and he was doubly suspect of the middle-aged woman who was also a mentor to Jou. They'd spent hours in silence or minimal conversation. He thought she would lose patience and tell him what he'd already determined-there was nothing she could do to help him. But she'd proved tenacious and almost inhumanly patient, and it was he who became annoyed as the silence continued. He'd become angry with himself for wasting his precious time. The panic attacks were still happening; in fact, they'd been intensifying, and Jounouchi's words had haunted him. He didn't have to suffer, but in order to keep them from recurring he needed to ask for help.

Once he'd taken that final step, he'd found the catharsis of bearing his soul to be exhilarating and addictive. He told her everything about his childhood, at first as if he were relating to her someone else's story, but lately as they explored the choices he'd made and the repercussions that still rippled through his life from them, he'd been feeling more and more raw and exposed. He'd begun to relive his past, and the anger and self-loathing that had plagued him then, ate away at his present life. He wanted to put an end to it. He wanted to be happy the same way his brother was, but he honestly didn't know the first thing how to go about it.

He wished someone would just tell him what to do, how to behave. Dr. Watanabe never would, he snorted, as he sat in his therapist's waiting room. If he asked her what he should do, he knew from experience that she would reply with her own question, 'what do you think you should do?' She'd told him from the start that real progress would be difficult; he'd not been fully prepared for the intensity of the emotions he would begin to experience.

He heard the inner office door open and looked up from the magazine he'd been paging through impatiently. Dr. Watanabe greeted him warmly, concern showing in her eyes at his gruff acknowledgement. He slipped past her and into the neutral-toned office.

"How was your business trip?" She asked as he sat down on a straight-backed chair. She had long ago ceased asking him if he wouldn't be more comfortable on the plush couch most of her patients used.

"Fine." He responded, rolling his eyes impatiently.

"Really? Tell me about it." She said as she settled into the wing-backed chair opposite him.

"Not much to say." He stared at the middle-aged woman intently, taking in her conservative charcoal pinstripe suit, and noted the way she pulled back her jet hair and tied it neatly at her nape. Her black-framed fashionable half-glasses accentuated her black eyes and framed her face nicely.

"Is there something you want to talk about instead?"

"Yes ... my brother's upcoming nuptials."

"Mokuba? He's marrying Kawaii Shizuka, ne?"

"Yes," he said tightlipped.

"And are you're unhappy about that?"

"Yes. Not that it matters to ~him~. In fact, no one seems to have a problem with them getting married!" He snarled.

"No one else does, but you do?" Dr. Watanabe reflected.

He looked at her, his eyes blazing. "Of course I do."

"You seem to think it's fairly obvious as to why they shouldn't get married." She mused.

"Well for one thing, they're far too young!"

"Do you really believe that? You've told me time and time again how mature your brother is. That Mokuba can take care of himself. You've boasted at what an astute businessman he is. Is it because you think that Shizuka is not well-suited for him?

Kaiba sighed in resignation. "No, I don't think that. I think ultimately she's good for him." He gritted his teeth, and felt the tension in the muscles of his jaw. "It's just" ... he trailed off and looked away.

"It's just what, Seto?" Dr. Watanabe prodded gently. "Tell me." She watched his body language shift-he was becoming defensive. His arms crossed protectively over his chest, he drew his legs together and sat hunched over. It was a far cry from his usual ramrod posture. "Seto, try to open up a little. We've made a tremendous amount of progress, haven't we?" The therapist reasoned. "You aren't suffering from panic attacks anymore, are you?" Reluctantly, he nodded his head. Indeed, they'd ceased shortly after he'd begun to relate the events of his childhood to her. "And you know that whatever you say here is between you and I, it goes no further."

He stared hard at her. "It's just not fair," he spat finally. "And I hate myself for thinking that way." His eyes were shining, and she could see he was close to crying, closer to it than he'd ever been in her presence.

"What isn't fair?" She asked softly.

He took a deep breath and wrapped his arms tighter across his chest. He exhaled and drew in a sharp breath. After a minute or two of silence, he appeared recomposed, and his posture loosened a bit.

"You know what it is?" he seethed. "I've spent my fucking life looking after Mokuba, making sure he was safe, building an empire so that he could live comfortably, and ensuring him every opportunity to live like a normal human being." He sighed and locked his gaze on an intricate flower arrangement on the low table that sat between them. "It's not fair that he's found someone, that he's getting married, and ... and ... I am alone." He confessed bitterly.

Dr. Watanabe allowed for a few moments of silence before speaking. "But Mokuba never asked you to do these things for him." She replied evenly.

"Do you think I had a choice?" Kaiba said furiously. He slammed his hands on the armrests of the chair. "Look at me," he raged, "I've frittered away my life, for what? Do you think he really cares about all the sacrifices I've made?"

Dr. Watanabe folded her hands together and stared at Kaiba's shaking form. She noted the hostility in his voice and knew from experience that he would use this outburst as fuel to fan his own self-loathing.

"Do you want to know what I think, Seto?" He glared at her angrily before nodding his head, indicating she should continue. "I think you were a little boy put into an impossible situation by a woman who had no idea that you would be orphaned." He shook his head vigorously in denial.

"Please hear me out." She persisted. "Your mother had no idea the amount of grief her dying words would cause you. Tell me something, did she love you?" He nodded his head silently and brusquely wiped away the tears that had formed in his eyes.

"I believe you when you tell me that. I believe your mother loved you dearly. I believe that she would be tremendously sad to see how much her words impacted your life. I don't think she ever meant for them to bring you such heartache." Kaiba bowed his head. He was overwhelmed by his emotions and he felt the hot tears he'd tried to stave off stream down his face.

"You're right, Seto. Life hasn't been fair to you. You sheltered your brother through your stepfather's abuse. You gave up your adolescence to be a parent. But Mokuba never asked you to make those sacrifices. Is he even aware of them?" Kaiba shook his head. "So the question becomes, Seto, what are you going to do about it now?"

"I don't know! I don't know what I ~can~ do. I just try to get through each day without instigating fights with the people around me, especially with Mokuba. I think there is the possibility that I will drive him away. I wish I could go back in time and change things. I look back at how I was, so cold and cruel. I see who I am now--I'm not that different. How can anyone love me? I'm bitter and hateful." His face twisted into a grimace as he tried to stifle a sob.

"And the biggest joke of all is that I think I am falling in love with someone. No, I ~am~ in love with someone--with Jounouchi Katsuya. But I can't believe he would ever love me back. Him, of all people, who I've treated the worst of all."

Dr. Watanabe digested this new information carefully. Since that first day that she had mentioned she was meeting with Kaiba Seto, she had never spoken to Katsuya about her therapy sessions with him, and he never asked her about them, nor had Jou ever divulged that there was any kind of chemistry between he and the CEO.

"Does he know how you feel?"

Kaiba took a ragged breath. "He knows I'm interested in him. But I've been taking it slow. We're just friends."

"So it seems that he's forgiven you these awful things you believe you've done to him. But being interested in someone and being in love with someone are two very different things. Have you told him how you feel, Seto?"

Kaiba pinched the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb and shook his head tiredly. "No, I can't bring myself to burden him with that." He smiled weakly at his dark humor. "Right now I'd be happy ~if~ we were still friends. I think I blew it this time."

"How so?"

"I was needlessly cruel toward him. When I planned this business trip I deliberately neglected to tell him, and in my haste to get the hell away from everything, I planned it at the same time as his graduation. I cut it short, but he'd already given the ticket to his friend Honda. Before I acted so stupidly, we'd talk several times a day, and we would see each other a few times a week. I haven't seen him since I got back last week. And all through this I'm supposed to be happy for my brother and his bride-to-be."

"And you're not."

"Ya think?" He shot back, and then cringed as he realized he'd blurted out one of Jounouchi's colloquialisms. He sighed in abject misery. "That was uncalled for," he remarked absently.

"That's okay, I can tell you're upset."

"Upset doesn't begin to describe it. I feel like I'm losing everything. I'm not in control."

"In control of yourself?"

"In control of anybody!"

"Do you really believe you have any control over other people?" Kaiba looked at her intently. He opened his mouth to speak, and then shut it quickly. Dr. Watanabe continued. "You may control how your employees behave, after all you pay them their livelihood. But you cannot control what other people think, and you cannot control what you feel, only how you act on those feelings."

"So what am I supposed to do?" he asked in a strangled voice. "How can I make things right? Why can't you tell me?"

"Because you would resent that in a heartbeat. Besides, what good would it do you? You have all the answers, buried deep inside you. It's my job to help you uncover them."

"Then what am I paying you for?" he asked sarcastically.

"You're paying me to help you," Dr. Watanabe replied measuredly. "Look I know that 99% of the time, if you throw enough money at a problem, you think that you can make it go away. But which is that solving, the symptom, or the cause? I believe it will relieve symptoms, but you will never get to the root of why. I want you to think about 'why,' because when you start answering the 'whys' in your life, you can start to see your behavior for what it is, and then change what you are unhappy with."

Dr. Watanabe looked at her wristwatch. "Unfortunately our time is up for today, but I think we made good progress. We can pick this up again next week."

"Thanks Dr. Watanabe," Kaiba responded in a subdued voice. He felt physically drained.

"There's no reason to thank me, Seto. You are the one doing the hard work. I know this is especially difficult for you and I am pleased to know that you trust me enough to open up. Take care of yourself, and I'll see you next week."

Kaiba sank into the back seat of his limousine and rubbed his temples with his fingertips. He felt a massive tension headache coming on. Of course what his therapist had said made sense. All the money in the world couldn't compare to someone loving him for who he was. And he knew one thing, Jounouchi chose to be with him because he genuinely liked to, not because of the fringe benefits. It had always been that way between he and the blond--Jou had never been impressed with his wealth. There was that. One tenuous thread, but a strong one nevertheless. He wondered if it was enough to build a relationship on.

***

Jounouchi thought he'd made his point to Kaiba by avoiding him for a week, but the reality of the situation was that he'd made himself miserable. He missed Kaiba, and as deeply hurt as he'd been by the brunet's little power ploy, he'd been relieved when Kaiba had owned up to his behavior and apologized. Not that it had taken all the bite out of the sting.

Surprisingly, it had been Mokuba who'd petitioned on his brother's behalf. He and Jounouchi still ran together on a semi-regular basis, as the younger Kaiba's schedule allowed, and he took Jou to task for snubbing his brother.

"Jou, what's with the cold shoulder all of a sudden? I thought you guys were getting along?" Mokuba knew that there was nothing other than a friendship between the two older men, but he'd also been privy to both of their inner thoughts on their relationship and where it may be heading.

"Don't make me the bad guy in all of this, he was the cold-hearted prick," Jou huffed as he edged past his friend.

"Jou, you know he only did it because he's scared."

"Kaiba ~scared~? Of what?"

"You, or rather, what he feels towards you."

"Oh puleeze. That is just too high school." The blond said, pulling up short. They'd been running on a path next to the river that wended through the city, and he gazed out over the calm water as he caught his breath. "Dammit, Mokuba," he exclaimed, turning toward the raven-haired man who leaned on the guardrail next to him, "why can't he just talk about it like a normal person?"

The younger man shrugged. "I dunno. I do know that he's shutting me out too. I know he hates that I'm getting married, but he won't tell me. He just acts like everything's okay, but I know it's not."

Jounouchi threw his arm over his friend's shoulders comfortingly. "Y'know, sometimes you hafta go through the motions before you begin to believe in something. I think he's trying his best to come around to it."

"But if he'd talk about it to me, then I could tell him that he's not losing me, that I love him the same as I always have. That will never change."

"But it has changed, Mokie. He has to share you now."

"So you think that it's just jealousy?" Mokuba asked, his eyes flashing angrily.

"No, it's not as simple as that. Your relationship was bound to change, and he's no longer the most important person in your life. That's how it should be, but maybe he feels like he's being left behind."

Mokuba knitted his brow. "Is that how you felt when I told you that I wanted to marry Shizuka?"

"A little." Jou admitted. "But it's only natural. Plus I'd just broken up with Ryou. Not exactly the best timing, ne?" He grinned at his friend. "I think he'll come around to it," he repeated.

"And what about you? Are you gonna come around too? I know he's said he was sorry to your voicemail about eighty different ways in as many times. What else can he do?"

Jou scowled for a moment before acknowledging that Mokuba was right. He'd been punishing the brunet and that had been childish. "Yes," he said finally. "I'm gonna see him tomorrow. We're getting everything together for the big blowout."

Mokuba's face lit up. "I can't believe it. You ~never~ let anyone help you in the kitchen. You've got it bad, don't you?"

Jou sighed in resignation, and shrugged his shoulders. "It's not that big of a deal," he lied.

"Yeah, right," Mokuba teased. "You keep telling yourself that and maybe even you'll believe it some day."

He had known that by avoiding the brunet he was falling into his lifelong pattern of passive-aggressiveness, but he hadn't been able to stop that initial reaction. In retrospect, he realized his actions had reduced him to the same petty behavior that Kaiba had displayed, and that displeased the blond greatly. And so when Kaiba had insisted he help with the party preparations, Jounouchi had softened his position and reluctantly agreed. But Mokuba had been right; he had wanted Kaiba to help because he wanted to spend the day with the brunet. Now, he waited outside his gate for Kaiba's all too familiar limousine to appear, wishing he'd taken up smoking, thinking a cigarette would certainly ease the nervousness he was feeling.

He watched with some curiosity as an SUV pulled over and maneuvered with some difficulty into a parking space. His heart sank as Kaiba climbed out of the driver's seat--he was horrendous behind the wheel though the brunet would never admit it--and Jou feared that getting into the passenger seat would do nothing to calm his nerves. As the brunet sauntered up though, he tossed his keys at Jou, who instinctively caught them.

"You can drive," he said, climbing into the passenger side.

Jounouchi stared after him for a few moments, before Kaiba added, "Are you going to stand there all day? I thought you said we had a lot of stops to make," and then closed the door behind him.

This was going to be interesting, Jou thought as he walked around the vehicle--a Lexis he noted-a brand new one by the looks of it. The odometer confirmed his suspicion as he slid into the driver's seat; there were less than 100km on it.

"Nice ride," he commented as the engine purred to life. "When did'ja pick this baby up?"

"A couple of days ago. It's a hybrid." Kaiba replied, staring out of the windshield. Jou could sense a chill inside the passenger compartment.

"An' you're okay with me driving it?" he questioned.

Kaiba turned to him, his face unreadable. "Do you think I would have given you the keys if I wasn't?"

Jou sat back in the seat, collecting his thoughts. The air was heavy between them, and he didn't want to spend the day skirting the issue that was so obviously on both their minds. He took a deep breath before continuing.

"Seto, look. I've been an ass to you this past week, an' I'm sorry fah that."

Kaiba shrugged his shoulders noncommittally. "It wasn't as if I didn't deserve it. I hurt you, remember?"

Jou shook his head, disagreeing. "Just because your actions hurt me, it didn't give me the right ta get even. You apologized, and that should've been enough." He reached across and cupped the brunet's face gently. "What's more," he breathed, "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Katsuya." Kaiba murmured, as he pressed his cheek against Jou's open palm. They stayed like that for a moment, neither wanting to break the spell.

Jou let his hand drop away suddenly and a small smile graced his lips. "So then it's settled. I won't pull anymore of that bullshit on you, and you'll try not to do the same, ne?"

Kaiba leaned over in his seat, bringing his lips close to Jounouchi's ear, his hot breath caressing the blond's neck as he whispered huskily, "I promise." He sealed it with a chaste kiss on Jounouchi's neck, and felt the blond shiver underneath his lips. They curved into a smile against the supple skin.

"O-Okay, then." Jou blurted. "Then let's get this show on the road. We've got a lot of work to do today." Kaiba pulled away slowly, smiling at how easily he'd managed to fluster the blond. It was going to be a long day indeed.

He spent it deliberately teasing the blond, deciding that before the night was over, he would have his answer as to whether or not Jou was interested in him at all physically. He was encouraged by the blond's reactions. Jounouchi seemed genuinely bewildered by his lingering touches, though he didn't pull away from them. Nor did the blond seem to mind the way he leaned into him as they shared lunch in a crowded café. There they had fallen into conversation easily, erasing the missteps of the prior week. All in all, things were looking up, he decided.

When they'd returned to the apartment, Jou had immediately set about decorating the outdoor space. The next day was forecast to be clear with temperatures in the high twenties; he wanted to take full advantage of the patio for entertaining. He enlisted Kaiba to hang strings of lanterns and took the opportunity to turn the tables on the brunet, 'spotting' him on a chair with a hand placed strategically on his hip or at times, his lower back. Kaiba thrilled at Jou's reciprocity.

After they'd finished outside, Jounouchi opened up a bottle of red wine and prepared the grill for the two filets that he'd picked up to make them for dinner. While the grill heated, they moved inside and he diced some potatoes and set them to boil, then pared the stalks of the asparagus he'd settled on to serve as a side. He was magnificent to watch, Kaiba sighed, as he turned about in the small space of the kitchen, hands flashing purposefully from task to task.

"Why don't you pick out a CD and put it on?" He glanced up at the brunet, who'd taken the stool on the opposite side of the kitchen counter. Kaiba turned toward the CD-laden shelf, and already familiarized with Jou's eclectic taste, slipped into the player an Edith Piaf disc that he knew the blond had been favoring recently. It reminded him of the graduation gift he'd yet to give to Jou; he decided to wait until after dinner to give it to him.

The sultry voice filled the room, and heart in throat, Kaiba watched Jou sway sensually to the French ballad; he couldn't remember a time when the blond had looked more enticing, more downright sexy. He took a sip of wine from the glass Jounouchi had poured for him, and watched his figure recede as he left to put the steaks out on the grill. It was a nice view, he thought, smirking to himself.

"Can you check on the potatoes?" The blond called over his shoulder, "Just flip them in the pan so they brown evenly." Kaiba took up position in front of the stove and tipped the sauté pan experimentally. He'd watched Jou flip myriad vegetables in the pan with a simple shake and flip; he did it effortlessly. He mimicked the actions that he'd observed, and to his surprise, the potatoes flipped; only a couple bounced out onto the stove.

"Not bad for a beginner," Jou grinned at him from the open doorway as Kaiba set down the pan. "Oh, don't stop," he purred, "It's been a long time since someone cooked fah me."

Kaiba felt an unwanted blush heat his cheeks. "I'm not cooking for you, just helping you out," he corrected.

"I can dream, can't I?" He was standing next to Kaiba now, and he rested his head on the brunet's shoulder. Kaiba sighed. He wanted to melt against the blond, to hold him, to kiss him. All too soon Jou lifted his head. "I was just kidding," he teased.

"That's good," Kaiba recovered, "As I don't know how to cook."

Jou looked at him in disbelief. "Aw c'mon. You gotta be able to cook something."

Kaiba shook his head. "No, not really. I've always had a chef-"

"An' you think you're gonna help me prep for tomorrow?" Jou placed his hands on his hips in mock-anger and tapped his foot.

"How hard could it be? You managed to make a living out of it." Kaiba teased and then smiled at the now-scowling blond. He watched, rapt, as the scowl faded into a grin.

"Yah, you ~better~ smile when you say that. Now get back ta work. An' while you're at it, turn the burner off under the asparagus," the blond admonished, heading back outside to check on the steaks. He came back in momentarily to grab a plate, and then returned with them and set them on the counter.

Kaiba continued to tend to the potatoes while Jounouchi retrieved two plates and utensils. "Have a seat, I'll plate." Kaiba watched hungrily as Jounouchi expertly laid the food on the plates in an attractive pattern, he couldn't help but admire the attention the blond paid to detail.

It was a simple meal, but perhaps because of the wine, or the company, or most probably both, Kaiba swore it was the best filet he'd ever eaten. Jounouchi blushed adorably under his compliments, mumbling that it was the ingredients that made the dish so delicious. Kaiba refreshed their glasses and listened attentively as the blond outlined the menu he'd planned for the party. It was to be a veritable feast of American barbeque, an odd choice, Kaiba mused, until Jou explained how that would allow for most of the preparation of sides and marinades to be done after dinner, and then tomorrow the slow-cooking process would afford him plenty of time to socialize with his friends. At the mention of the blond's friends, Kaiba looked away, a pang of jealousy stabbing him. He looked back to see the blond eyeing him intently.

"What?" he asked defensively, eyes sliding downward to observe the remnants of his meal on his plate.

Jou covered Kaiba's hand with his own, and stroked the knuckles absently with his thumb. "I know ya don't particularly believe all the 'friendship' crap, but they've been important to me and Shizuka ... " Kaiba was mesmerized by the sensation of the circular pattern Jou's thumb made on the back of his hand. He was finding it hard to concentrate on what the blond was saying. " ... and of course I wanted to spend time with you." The blond added softly. Abruptly the massage ended.

He looked up again, finally ready to pour his heart out, but Jounouchi was already in motion. "Okay, let's get the prepwork done, and then we can ... relax," the blond said, clearing the dishes to the sink. "Pick something lively out," he nodded toward the CD collection, as he picked up a sheaf of papers from the long butcher-block counter next to the sink.

Kaiba perused the collection, at a loss as to what would constitute 'lively,' finally settling on an old Nine Inch Nails record that he remembered hearing recently when they'd been clubbing. He grabbed his present to Jou out of the pocket of his jacket that he'd carelessly tossed on the futon earlier, and laid it on the counter next to the papers the blond was rifling through.

"What's this?" Jou asked, nodding at the elegantly wrapped box.

"It's a graduation present."

Jou eyed the brunet suspiciously and tapped his wristwatch. "I thought that's what this was."

"~That~ was for defending your dissertation. ~This~ is for your graduation."

"You didn't hafta get me anything." Jou said quietly. "An' I'm sorry I gave your ticket away."

"I ~know~ that. I ~wanted~ to get you something." Kaiba replied. "And I'm sorry you did too. I wanted to be there for you." Jou cast a rueful glance at Kaiba, and the brunet felt guilty once again for setting in motion the events of the past couple of weeks. "Really, it isn't very much at all-"

"Yeah, right." Jou snorted and then grinned as he tore away the wrapping paper, revealing a matte black box. "A fucking Nano?" He exclaimed. "You got me a fucking Nano? This is too cool!" The box opened like a book revealing the credit-card size iPod. "This is so sweet! Thanks! But yah didn't have to do this. I wasn't expecting anything from you. Now I owe you two presents." His brow knitted as he contemplated owing the brunet.

Kaiba smiled at the blond and said suggestively, "You'll just have to figure a way to make it up to me."

"Careful what yah ask for Seto, or I just might," Jou retorted.

"And I ~just~ might like that, Katsuya." Kaiba shot back. They locked eyes for a few moments.

"Well, ~that~ will need to wait 'til we're done in here."

They set about preparing all the food. Jounouchi divided the recipes he'd been sifting through and began to organize the ingredients that they'd purchased. Kaiba proved to be an excellent assistant, following Jou's instructions and each recipe's step he was given to the letter and quickly mastering the simple techniques that Jou tutored him in. They worked their way through rubs for a pork shoulder and several racks of ribs, a marinade for two whole chickens that Jounouchi split at the backbones and flattened, and then moved on to preparing the sides, American potato and macaroni salads and cole slaw. They'd also bought some gourmet dips, salsas, pickles and chips for guests to snack on.

Time flew by and before Kaiba knew it, almost everything was done and put away; the last of the dishes they'd soiled were in the sink ready for cleaning. In celebration Jounouchi opened up a second bottle of wine and put an electronica CD on.

"Almost done-just one last thing before we can call it a day. D'you know how to clean prawns?" The brunet shook his head. "I'll show you, and while you're cleaning them, I'll finish cleaning up the kitchen. Deal?"

"Yeah, okay. What did you just put on?" Kaiba asked as the spacey instrumental music played.

"Air. More French music." Jou said, reaching into a plastic bag he'd laid in front of Kaiba. Deftly, he shelled the prawn, and then slit it open along its dorsal side with a paring knife, revealing the black vein within. "Just remove the vein on each of these. There should be about 20. They're huge, ne?"

Kaiba nodded, and began shelling. After he was done with that, he began slitting them open. He realized suddenly that he was getting quite tired; his legs and his back complaining at all the standing still he'd been doing as he prepped. He let his mind wander, wondering if he'd be able to coax the blond into perhaps giving him a backrub and then maybe ...

"FUCK!" He exclaimed, looking down at a thin red crescent forming on the pad of his thumb where the paring knife had slipped.

"What?" Jounouchi was at his side immediately. He grabbed the brunet's hand, and without a thought, closed his mouth over the wounded digit, sucking gently. Kaiba nearly swooned from the sensation of that hot mouth pressed against his throbbing thumb. The moist heat encasing his thumb caused his own mouth to run dry. All too soon it was over, and Jounouchi was inspecting the cut. "It's not as bad as it looks." He said to himself, and wrapped the thumb in a paper towel. Kaiba breathed in raggedly, fighting the urge to grab the blond roughly and have his way with him. "C'mon, let's get yah cleaned up. You're officially off duty."

Jounouchi led the stunned brunet into the bathroom and steered him to the closed toilet seat. Kaiba thought he'd forgotten how to breath as he sat there, afraid to look at Jounouchi, afraid that if blond could see his eyes he would see in that moment how much he wanted, no, he needed him. Every nerve in his body was awake and hyperaware of how close Jounouchi was. His injured thumb tingled and the sensation raced up his arm and down his spine causing a sudden burst of heat in his groin. He groaned softly, causing the blond to stop rummaging through his medicine cabinet over the sink.

"Are you okay?" Jounouchi asked, his face a mask of concern. Kaiba managed to nod, still avoiding his eyes. "What is it? Whats'a matter Set?" Jounouchi drew closer and leaned over him.

The familiarity with which his edited name fell from those lips was too much for the brunet. He looked into Jou's golden eyes, sure that his own eyes were burning brightly with the heat of his desire. "I want you," he whispered hoarsely.

It seemed like a lifetime passed as he watched the meaning of the words he'd uttered dawn on Jounouchi's face, and then suddenly Jounouchi's mouth covered his own hungrily, tongue plundering him, hands entangling into his chestnut locks, pulling him deeper into the kiss.

***

Kaiba felt that he was being consumed by the kiss; he was losing himself in the sensations of desire and need that overwhelmed him. He was kissing Jounouchi, and it felt as natural as breathing. He met every flick, every movement of the blond's tongue with his own explorations. Without breaking their embrace, Jounouchi pulled him into a standing position and crushed him against the bathroom door. His heart was pounding and that in turn was causing his thumb to ache in rhythm, but the last thing he wanted was to stop. Jounouchi was working on the buttons of his shirt, skillfully opening them and running his hands over his heated skin.

Fingertips caressed his nipples and he arched against the blond, rubbing their crotches together; Jounouchi groaned into his mouth, simultaneously pinching his hardening buds and gently nipping at his lower lip. His cock pulsed in response and he grabbed the blond and spun him around, exchanging their positions. Now that he had the blond pinned, he worked Jounouchi's shirt up over his torso, his hands skimming over the sculpted perfection of his abdomen. Dissatisfied, he pushed the shirt up further, and broke the kiss only to capture a dusky nub with his teeth. He suckled it gently, circling the aureole with his tongue, eliciting a soft moan from the blond.

Jounouchi leaned back against the door, arms hanging limply at his sides, allowing Kaiba unimpeded access to ravish his body in its entirety. He was drowning in the sensations the brunet was causing to course through his body. His breath came in great ragged gasps as he willed Kaiba's talented hands and tongue to move down toward his waistband, to slide under it and toward the heat in his groin. He longed to feel the brunet's hands fondling him there, long, elegant fingers wrapping around his shaft, stroking and teasing him.

As if he had read Jou's mind, Kaiba's hands traveled in ever-widening circles southward, both meeting at the offensive button of the blond's jeans. A simple tug and they were undone. Jounouchi cried out harshly at the first brush against his straining erection, and as Kaiba cupped the blond's balls delicately in his hands he contrasted the gentleness of his touch by kissing him roughly and forcing his tongue deep inside that moist heat that had started it all. He knew at that moment they were beyond the point of stopping, they both wanted this; neither would be denied.

Kaiba pressed their bodies together, reveling in the incandescent warmth where their naked skin met. Jounouchi's hands traveled over his back under his loosened shirt, pulling the tails out and cupping his ass firmly, grinding their crotches together once again. The electricity generated by the motion caused Kaiba to pull away and gasp involuntarily. He noticed then that he was shaking uncontrollably, overwhelmed by his visceral passion. He looped his arm around Jou's waist and pulled him closer and slid his hand over the blond's chest, rolling his palm lightly over taut nipples.

"Seto, stop." Jounouchi moaned. Seeing the look of abject horror on the brunet's face, he recovered quickly. "Let me take care of that thumb first." Kaiba looked down at his hand, noticing finally that he'd dropped the paper towel that had swaddled his finger and that he'd smeared a trail of blood over the blond's torso.

"I'm sorry," he said, dropping his arms to his sides and stepping back.

"Sorry fah what? Kissing me? 'Cause I ain't, Seto. I want you, too." Jou admitted. He wrapped his arms around Kaiba and pulled him into a tight embrace. "An' I intend to pick up where we left off, once you're all cleaned up, and I've put away those prawns. We don't want anyone getting sick tomorrow, ne?" He whispered hoarsely into his ear.

He sat Kaiba back down and swabbed his thumb with an antiseptic wipe and then quickly bandaged it up. Kaiba watched passively, wondering if the moment had been lost, if once Jounouchi was done they would move on as if nothing ever happened. Maybe it would be better that way, as it was, he was frightened by the intensity of the emotions that were surging through his mind. Jou leaned in close to his ear. "Now where were we?" He whispered hotly, and then playfully licked around its outer shell. "I think I was about to divest you of this shirt." Kaiba groaned as his shirt was slipped off his shoulders. All reservations he'd been having were washed away by Jou's hungry tongue worrying his earlobe.

"Don't stop," he protested when Jounouchi pulled away. The blond grinned at him.

"I have to. I've got some more work ta do before we can play." Jou pulled down his tee shirt and zippered his fly, groaning softly. "God you've got me so hot," he said shakily. "It'll just take me a minute." He slipped out the door, leaving Kaiba to collect himself and his thoughts. He sat there for a few moments, head in hands, listening to the sounds of the blond moving hurriedly about in the cramped kitchen, the clatter of the paring knife being tossed into the sink, the crumpling of the newspaper that had been laid down to collect the prawn shells, and finally the sound of the refrigerator door being opened and then swung shut. Then silence. He strained his ears and heard muffled noises, a low thump and then some rustling. He smiled, realizing that Jou was getting his bed ready; he found that thought incredibly sexy.

He heard footfalls approach the door then stop. "Are yah coming out?" Jou asked softly. For a moment he sat there, suddenly unsure of himself, afraid that once they'd made love, he would no longer desire the blond. Something deep inside him bristled at that thought, and suddenly he felt a glimmer of hope that maybe this wasn't going to be like that. He'd taken on lovers for all the wrong reasons, to quench his own carnal need, to boost his ego, to try to forget the blond that stood waiting for him on the other side of the door.

Jounouchi threw open the door. "Are you okay?"

He smiled weakly at the blond's concern and nodded. Jounouchi laid his hand on Kaiba's shoulder. "Are you sure you wanna go through with this?"

Kaiba looked up at him. "No, I'm not," he confessed. He felt a pang of guilt immediately as a hurt look spread over the blond's face.

"I see." Jounouchi pulled his hand off of the brunet's shoulder.

"It's not you, Katsuya. It's me."

Jou smiled at him bitterly. "I've heard that one before. Please, you don't owe me an explanation, but don't lie ta me."

Kaiba's eyes flashed angrily. "I'm not lying," he hissed.

Jounouchi stepped back and placed his hands on his hips. "Then tell me how it's ~you~, when just a few minutes ago ~you~ seemed just fine."

Kaiba sighed and looked away, knowing full well that Jou was waiting for his explanation, that there was no graceful way out. He'd begun this; the least he owed the blond was his honesty. "I'm afraid," he admitted.

"Afraid? I won't hurt ya, Seto. I'm not playing any games here."

He met Jou's gaze. "I know that. I'm afraid that once I have you, I won't want you that way any more."

"Oh."

He waited a few minutes for Jounouchi to say something, anything. Finally the blond asked, "Is that how it's always been for you?"

He swallowed hard and nodded. "And I don't want to ruin this. Us." He breathed in raggedly. It was hopeless. He'd never found much enjoyment in life, but now it seemed he'd managed to drain away what little he'd been able to exact from his existence.

"I don't either." Jounouchi crouched down in front him. "But I ~want~ you. An' I'm willing to take that risk." He cupped the brunet's cheeks between his hands and rested their foreheads together. "How 'bout this. Stay with me tonight, and if you wake up tomorrow and think it was a mistake, then no harm no foul."

"Really." Kaiba said flatly as he pulled his head away and looked deep into Jou's amber eyes. They gazed back unwavering.

"Really." Jounouchi swallowed. "I won't be happy, but I can learn to live with it." He cracked a smile. "'Sides, I'm thinkin' after a night with me, yah just might change your mind."

"My aren't we the overconfident one? Or are you just gambling?"

"Nah, I've got the skills tah prove it." Jou didn't wait for a retort. Instead he ensured Kaiba's silence by kissing him passionately. His hands danced lightly over the brunet's nipples, teasing them into hard peaks. Kaiba responded with equal ardor, once again pulling at the hem of the blond's shirt. Jou slipped his arms through the sleeves and broke their kiss to help finish removing it. He tossed it away carelessly. "C'mon," he tugged at Kaiba's hand, "I don't wanna make out in my bathroom all night."

He motioned for Kaiba to lead, and then hooked the fingers of one hand through the brunet's belt loops; the other slid around to work on Kaiba's belt buckle, artlessly loosening it as they made their way through the kitchen. As Jou's hand slid under the waistband, Kaiba spun to face him. Jounouchi's now freed hands clasped at the nape of his neck, and he was drawn into a ravishing kiss. Jounouchi tenderly mapped out the interior of his mouth, leisurely exploring every hollow. Kaiba allowed Jounouchi to dominate the kiss for the moment, being far more interested in slipping the blond out of his restrictive jeans.

He pressed Jou against the counter and plunged his tongue into his moist cavern. Teeth gnashed against teeth as he delved deeper, luxuriating in the sweetness the blond's mouth offered. Jou gave up his dominance; giving Kaiba free rein over the kiss, mimicking the brunet's actions with his own tongue. Kaiba realized he could become addicted to this.

Jou worked at the button and zipper of Kaiba's pants and ghosted his hand over the brunet's impressive bulge. He slid his hand under the waistband of silken boxers and palmed along the shaft. Kaiba moaned into his mouth, and Jou turned his head and whispered huskily into the brunet's ear. "This is what I want." Kaiba felt weak-kneed. His cock throbbed needfully as Jou stroked its length. "And this is what I want to do." Jou gracefully dropped to his knees and breathed hotly over the brunet's rock-hard erection. The sensation of the moist heat caressing his skin through the soft material caused Kaiba to buck involuntarily, and then hands were roughly rolling down his pants and boxers and his sex sprang free and unfettered before it was encased in the moist heat of the blond's mouth.

Jou licked over the velvety head with a slow deliberate tongue, lapping up the prodigious precum and reveling in the tremors that he felt rocking the brunet's body. He hummed softly as he took in the full length of Kaiba's cock and buried his face in the soft pubic hair at the base. He pulled back, creating a suction that strengthened as he reached the tip, his cheeks becoming concave as the vacuum increased. "Gods, Jou!" Kaiba cried wantonly, entangling his hands in Jou's silk-spun hair. As the blond repeated his action he could feel the pulse quicken in the sex that filled his mouth. He continued his ministrations to the squirming brunet until Kaiba resorted to begging. "Please, please stop! I'm going to cum." Reluctantly Jou pulled his mouth away, the loss of contact announced by a significant popping sound as the brunet's cock was freed.

Kaiba fell to the floor next to the blond, brutalizing the sweet mouth that had been so ardently pleasuring him. Gasping for breath he cried, "I want to fuck you Katsuya. I want to feel your body writhing underneath me. I want you to scream my name when you cum. I want to make love to you in the way that you deserve." He crushed their lips together again, hands desperately roaming over Jou's back and shoulders, and determined to give back some of the pleasure that he'd been the recipient of. "Let's move to the bed," he suggested, pulling the blond up as he stood. He slipped out of his clothes that had pooled at his ankles, while at the same time Jou stepped out of his loosened jeans and underpants. Jounouchi followed him obediently around the counter toward the bed. "Sit on the edge," Kaiba ordered. He knelt in front of Jou, his eyes raking over the blond's enticing body, pausing to ogle his neglected erection. He ran his hand up the blond's muscular legs, sliding over inner thighs and spreading them wider. Jou's breaths were coming in shallow pants and a heated sob escaped his lips as Kaiba tongued over his balls and delicately sucked one into his mouth. He mirrored his actions on the other one, and then licked over the sac before traveling self-confidently up the shaft only to lightly tease the cockhead with his lips. Jou was making the most erotic mewling sounds and his own cock twitched in answer to each utterance.

Jou bit down hard on his lower lip as the moist heat caressed his most sensitive areas. He reclined on his arms and spread his legs wider still, head lolling backward as he lost himself in the brunet's ministrations. "You're so fucking good," he purred, shifting his weight onto one arm so he could caress the brunet's silken hair. Kaiba gazed up the length of Jou's torso and smiled at him, before guiding his shaft deep into his mouth, swirling his tongue down its length before releasing the cock until his lips encircled only its luscious head, before repeating his actions on the moaning blond. Jounouchi arched off the mattress as Kaiba finally allowed the blond's cock to slip from his mouth.

"Where's the lube?" he rasped.

"Yah don't need any," Jou murmured. "I prepared myself." Kaiba swooned with the arousal caused by an image that flashed through his consciousness, one of Jou fingering himself as he applied the lubricant to his anus.

He buried his nose in the blond's crotch and breathed deeply the aroma of his sex and the unmistakable undertones of vanilla-scented lube. "I would have loved to watch you do that," he moaned as he fingered the well-slicked entrance.

"Please Setooooo," Jou whined. "I don't know how much more of this teasing I can take. Believe me when I say I'm ready fah you." He needed no more coaxing. He pushed Jou's legs up and lined up the tip of his cock with the blond's puckered entrance. "Pleeeaase, I need you now!" Jou's demand was punctuated by a stifled scream as Kaiba buried himself to the hilt in Jounouchi's tight channel. They were briefly motionless, Kaiba allowing the tight ring of Jou's sphincter muscles to acclimate to his intrusion, and Jounouchi thoroughly enjoying the feeling of being filled with his lover's cock after so long being an exclusive top.

Jou arched his back to allow further penetration and wrapped his legs tightly around the brunet's waist. Kaiba took that as a signal to begin thrusting. He did so slowly, holding back as best he could, wanting nothing more than to extend their lovemaking for as long as possible. The blond however, had other ideas. His hands played over Kaiba's well-defined pecs, pinching his erect nipples and then scraping fingernails lightly over them. Kaiba's hands meanwhile took up residence around the blond's now-throbbing shaft, stroking it in counter-tempo to his thrusts, and dancing his fingertips over it's cum and saliva-slicked head. He smiled as they locked gazes, admiring how utterly fuckable the blond looked with his eyes glazed over from the throes of his passion.

"I love the way you look right now." He whispered hoarsely, one hand traveling up to cup Jou's flushed cheek. "I love that ~I've~ made you look like that. You can't possibly know how turned on you make me."

Jou snapped out of his reverie and smiled back. He pulled Kaiba into an embrace and whispered back hotly "I think I have an idea about that. Let me on top. Please. Now." He demanded urgently. Kaiba obliged, and they rolled over fluidly, until the brunet was on his back with the blond straddling him. Jou lifted himself up, and then slid back down the length of Kaiba's shaft, eliciting from him a full-throated roar. "Mmmm, like that much?" He teased as he retraced his movement over and over again, watching Kaiba's head loll with growing anticipation. The brunet's hands were once against firmly implanted around his shaft, kneading and stroking it.

"Cum for me baby," Kaiba crooned. "I want to see you come undone, feel your hot seed on my skin." He folded his legs and planted his feet on the bed to leverage his body and began to meet Jounouchi's movements with thrusts of his own.

Jou tossed his head back, and a guttural rumble tore from his throat, as their new position caused his prostate to be brushed with each of Kaiba's thrusts. Jou increased the tempo of his own actions, shifting his body to further ensure that each time their bodies met that amazing sensation would be replicated. He felt his climax building deep in his belly, the ticklish feeling expanding and increasing in intensity until his cum spurt over Kaiba's torso as Jou screamed his name. He collapsed limply against the brunet who was still encased deeply in his tight channel. His muscles spasmed in post-coital bliss and Kaiba gentled his drives, maintaining his rhythm as he waited for Jou to collect himself.

"Roll over," he commanded after a few moments, and then he pinned the blond on his back to the bed. Jou kissed him hungrily, and Kaiba quickened his thrusts, pounding into his lover's unresisting body, the knowledge that his own appetite was about to be sated causing him to thrust deeply and erratically. "I love you!" He screamed as he found his release deep inside Jou's snug passage. Instantly he regretted the confession made at the height of his ecstasy, his eyes widened in panic as he sought out Jou's reaction.

The blond's eyes shone with emotion and he pulled the brunet into a close embrace, whispering softly into his ear, "I love you too, Seto." Kaiba slipped out of his lover and Jou reached for the box of tissues that he kept on a nearby table. He swabbed the cum that had transferred to his body and then gently cleansed it off of Kaiba's sweat-soaked torso. The brunet stared at him warily, still shocked by his admission and Jou's unexpected response. Silently Jou pulled back the bedcovers and motioned for Kaiba to crawl in. The brunet turned on his side, back to the blond, and Jou nuzzled against him in a spooning position, arm slung possessively over his waist. Kaiba felt his pounding heart slowly calming in his chest and, as he drifted of into an exhausted sleep, his last coherent thought was that Jounouchi had been right. He did have the talent to back up his bragging. He smiled as he thought of what the morning would bring, and banished the malaise that threatened his moment of euphoria. He vowed that he would make sure this time would be different. This time he would ride out his fears. Jounouchi was worth it, and he intended to make sure the blond knew it.

***

Jounouchi woke suddenly, and in the silence of the dim morning light, it took him a few moments to adjust to his consciousness. He realized then that what had woken him was Kaiba Seto's tongue. At the moment it was leisurely licking around the aureole of his right nipple. The brunet tilted his head, revealing lustful blue eyes.

"About time you woke up," he said before returning to his ministrations. His hand claimed Jou's flaccid cock, teasing it to erection.

"What are you doing?" Jou half-whined. He squirmed as teeth clamped down on his sensitive nub.

"I'm hungry," the brunet responded.

"I'm not breakfast!" Jou protested

"I beg to differ." Kaiba's tongue worked its way down the blond's torso, until he was positioned centimeters above his now fully hardened erection.

"Nnngh," Jounouchi sighed as his sex was surrounded by the moist heat of his lover's mouth. He groaned as Kaiba scraped his teeth lightly down the shaft, licking and nibbling around his scrotum and finally stopping at the sensitive skin of his perineum.

"Gods, what are you doing to me?" He groaned as he fisted the bedding, amazed at how aroused the brunet was getting him. He felt helpless under the onslaught, but it was such delicious torture.

"Do you want me to stop?" Kaiba crawled back up the bed and locked eyes with his.

"No, on the contrary, I want you to fuck me again. Now." Jou pleaded. "You can't get me all worked up like this and then stop."

"Hmm. Now that you mention it, I like that idea-to leave you hot and bothered all day long, anticipating what I'm going to do to you after the party's over." He purred. "I'll make you forget all about that ex-boyfriend of yours" His fingertips teased the blond's nipples into pebble-hard peaks.

"Who?" Jounouchi grinned, stretching catlike under the brunet's caresses.

He rolled suddenly, catching Kaiba by surprise and pinning him beneath his weight. Jou arched an eyebrow and rubbed their erections together as he asked "Is that so? Maybe it'll be ~you~ thinking about ~me~ all day. Y'know, as much as I loved bein' the bottom last night, I'm just as good at toppin'." He saw a cloud pass over the brunet's eyes, and realized belatedly that he'd stepped into another minefield. Kaiba turned his head away from his lover, but Jou gently turned it back. "Okay, I can see that might be a problem fah you, so let's just clarify somethin' right now. I'm perfectly happy bein' your bottom." He kissed the brunet gently to demonstrate his sincerity, refusing to relent until Kaiba responded in kind. "S'okay, you know." He added as he nuzzled against him. But he couldn't deny that it excited him to think that perhaps Kaiba had never been taken, he smiled from the thought that he could be the brunet's first.

"Can I ask ya a question?" The brunet nodded. "Have you ever bottomed?" He planted kisses on top of Kaiba's lips after each word. He felt the brunet tense under him, so he rolled off and sat up. "What is it?" He asked softly. Kaiba shuddered visibly and grimaced.

"I can't." He said, voice trailing off.

"Can't bottom?" Jou asked, confused. He gently stroked his lover's face while he waited for an answer.

"Can't talk about it." Kaiba managed. His skin was suddenly clammy and he felt sick with the knowledge that a panic attack was coming on.

Through the pulse pounding in his ears he heard Jounouchi ask, "Can't talk about it to me, or at all?" Before it registered to the blond what was happening. "Shit, baby, I'm sorry! Just breathe through it. C'mon you can do it," he encouraged. He rolled Kaiba over and rubbed his back and shoulders in soothing circles. With Herculean resolve, the brunet forced himself to lie still and focus on the back rub the blond was giving him. It felt good. He visualized those capable hands running over the smooth planes of his back, allowing himself to fully indulge in the calming sensations from his skin and muscles being expertly massaged. At the same time he tried desperately to push out of his head the secret he carried, the one thing he'd never been able to tell anyone; that his stepfather, Kaiba Gozaburo, raped him.

He wondered miserably if he told Jou what had happened to him years ago whether the blond would think that he was damaged beyond repair. He knew that he himself did. As the focus of his thought changed and images of the incident flashed through his mind, waves of panic broke over him and he sobbed bitterly. He felt cheated once again of fully enjoying life, of being able to bask in the afterglow of the lovemaking he'd engaged in with Jou. He felt the weight of Jou's body crushing down on him, as if the blond wanted to press the anxiety out of him. In that moment, his secret weighed so heavily on him that it had become unbearable. If he could just say the words he thought, it would all be over; the panic attacks would stop. He no longer cared what anyone thought; he just needed to find a way to end them once and for all. He thought about all the energy he spent shuttering up the memories that still managed to leak out and ambush him and deny him any real pleasure in life.

"He raped me." He said, burying his head into the pillow. He breathed in deeply Jou's unique scent, and found it to be comforting. The hands on his back stopped moving.

"Come again?" The blond asked softly.

He turned over and faced Jounouchi and was overwhelmed by the compassion that he saw in his amber eyes. "My stepfather raped me," he said dryly. Jounouchi's face twitched angrily.

"Motherfucker!" He cursed, mentally doing the math. Kaiba had been a kid at the time of Gozaburo's death, only 15 years old. That meant his first sexual experience had probably been when he was raped. His face softened as he brushed a tear off of the brunet's cheek. "I won't ever ask you ta do that," he murmured, nuzzling the brunet once more. He wrapped his arms around Kaiba's waist and held him fast in an embrace. "It's okay now. I won't let anyone hurt you like that ever again." He reassured. Kaiba turned over and faced Jou and snuggled into his chest, allowing the blond to shelter him. The tenderness with which Jou held him and kissed him was overwhelming him; he let his tears fall freely, unconcerned by their expression. He was profoundly moved by the blond's comfort. They lay together quietly for a while, Jounouchi whispering softly in his ear, telling him over and over that he loved him, that everything would be all right.

Slowly his tears stopped, and Jounouchi fell silent. Kaiba shifted and looked in to his eyes and continued. Somehow he knew that by finally confiding his nightmare, he had a chance of banishing it forever.

"It happened when I was fourteen. He was enraged at me because he thought I wasn't studying hard enough. He'd caught me asleep on more than one occasion and decided to teach me a lesson. He began to beat me with his belt, and I refused to utter a sound. All the previous times he'd ever laid a hand on me, I'd begged him to stop, promising that I would be good, do whatever he wanted. But this time, I decided I wouldn't let him get the best of me. I hated him." Jou ran his hand along Kaiba's cheek and neck, and then slid it over his naked back. He kissed the brunet softly on the forehead and nuzzled his hair. He knew that Kaiba was telling him something he'd kept to himself for years.

"Then he switched to his fists; he'd knock me down and I'd just silently get up and face him. After a while, I think he was physically exhausted, but he was angrier than I'd ever seen him. I was scared at that point, frightened for my life, and I was hurting badly. But for some reason, I refused to bend. I can't tell you why, or how I found the strength to stand at that point. He literally ripped my clothes off of my body and before I knew it, I was facedown on his desk." He lay still, reliving the moment of horror when Gozaburo penetrated him. His body shook uncontrollably, and Jounouchi pressed his body along the length of the brunet's.

"I've never experienced such pain, such humiliation as I did on that day. But in the end I beat him. He never lay a hand on me again, and within a year he was dead."

"It only happened once?" Kaiba nodded against Jou's chest, then he continued.

"He'd beaten me before, but after that day, it seemed that he was afraid of me. He avoided me, and I was fine with that."

"God, I'm so sorry Seto. No one deserved that, and I'm glad the bastard is dead, because if he were alive, I'd hunt him down and kill him for what he did to you."

Kaiba smiled weakly. "You would, wouldn't you?"

"You know it. And before I killed him, I'd make him sorry he'd ever been born." Jou hugged the brunet closer. "I meant what I said before, I won't ask you again."

"It's okay, Katsuya. I want you to make love to me, to show me that it doesn't need to hurt. I've fucked enough people to know that, but I'm just not ready yet."

"I don't care if you're ever ready," the blond replied. "Just being with you, that's what matters. I love you Seto."

"I-I love you too Katsuya." They lay together for a while longer, the dim light gradually growing brighter as it became later in the morning and the sun's rays reached into his courtyard. Jounouchi grew restless thinking about the work that he had left to do before guests started to arrive.

"Are you okay now?" He murmured. "'Cause I need to get up and started on the barbeque."

Kaiba looked at the digital clock across the room. "I have to get going too. Go home and freshen up."

"Ya could always stay and shower with me," Jou said playfully.

"Mmm, as much as I'd like that, I still need a change of clothes. If I leave now, I can be back by noon.

Jounouchi looked at him wistfully. "So I guess that means you're okay with last night?"

"I'm more than okay with it." Kaiba crushed his lips down on Jou's and captured them in a searing kiss. "In fact, I'm looking forward to spending a lot of nights with you," he smiled. "But right now, we've both got things to take care of."

 

Jou stood under the cascade of warm water from the shower, allowing it to pulse down on his weary body. It had been a long time since he'd made love so fervently and he was mindful of the delicious way in which his body ached. Kaiba had been all he'd expected in a lover, and more. He was passionate, responsive, and just damn good. It had been perfect in every way, and he was disappointed that they'd not had another opportunity to go at it again when he'd been awakened by the brunet's hot pink tongue darting over his nipples. He shivered involuntarily at the remembered sensation and then sighed, the brunet's confession weighing heavily on his mind.

It had been all he could do to keep himself from slipping into therapist mode. Although most of the time he would spend in his year-long internship would be assessing the cognitive functioning of patients with brain injuries and other brain traumas, he'd done far too much clinical work at the orphanage to shut off his therapeutic ear completely. It didn't help that many of the children living there had been sexually abused by one or more of the myriad caregivers that had populated their short lives.

His own father had been abusive at times, but most of the beatings he'd given Jou had been the fallout of the older man's drinking. He'd always been apologetic in the morning, swearing he'd never lay another hand on Jou, and would work hard at keeping his promise until the next time he came home tanked.

His mother on the other hand practiced a brand of aggression that would have been the death of him if he'd allowed himself to stay emotionally involved with her. Her weapon of choice was love withdrawal, and he'd spent his childhood and early adolescence futilely seeking her approval and her love, until she took Shizuka and moved away and he'd made the realization that he would never be good enough for her. But overall, neither of his parents had been near the ogres that he'd heard about from his young patients and now from Kaiba.

He knew the brunet was an emotional wreck and that was a potent aphrodisiac for him. He was being pulled in over his head, and he knew he couldn't put the brakes on now. He felt vulnerable, and though Kaiba had confided in him something the brunet had never told anyone, Jou worried that it might cause him to pull back emotionally, and that would hurt. They'd come so far, overcome so many of their own self-imposed hurdles to do it; he could not bear for it to slip back now. He needed Kaiba, and needed the brunet to need him just as much.   
With great effort he combed his memory of the past few months, pointing out actions that Kaiba had taken, reassuring himself that the brunet would not just cut and run. Last night had been just too good for both of them. He had to believe that. He finished bathing, dried off, and got dressed.

He had last minute chores to take care of and before he knew it, it was past noon. Guests would be arriving within the hour, and Kaiba was late, which was unusual. Doubt once again began to nibble at his thoughts, so he picked up the sleek black nano and searched through the music library Kaiba had installed. It was a diverse mix, and it warmed Jounouchi's heart to see hundreds of his favorite songs; Kaiba had taken the time to create an incredible library of tunes. His attention to detail was endearing. Jounouchi had no illusions that Kaiba would suddenly turn into a romantic sap, but actions like that served to make the blond believe that he was indeed important in the other's life.

His cell rang at 12:30 and his heart skipped a beat when he saw Kaiba's name on the CallerID.

"Hey Seto," he answered hoping his voice would not give away the anxiety he was feeling.

"Katsuya, I'm sorry I've been delayed. Mokuba insisted that I come with Shizuka and him." Jou sighed with relief. Besides work, his sister found it impossible to be punctual. "I hope you didn't need to do too many more preparations," he added.

"No, we pretty much took care of everything last night."

"Hold on-" Jou heard muffled voices and wondered absently what the problem was.

"Jou, It's Mokuba-"

"Hey Mokie, what's going on?"

"Stop it Seto, I have every right to talk to my friend. Jou, I have one question for you."

He knit his brow, and asked confusedly, "What is it?"

"I want to know what your intentions toward my brother are." Jou stared at the cell in disbelief. "Well, I'm waiting young man." He heard emanate from the tiny speaker.

Jou grinned at the mocking tone, "Well actually, I plan on fucking his brains out."

There was silence for a moment, and then Mokuba groaned, "That's more information than I really needed! And y'know, if I'd answered you that way about Shizuka, you would have beaten the shit out of me!"

"And rightly so, that's my little sister. And maybe that'll teach ya a lesson. Don't ask if you can't handle the answer. Now put your brother back on."

"I am mortified." Kaiba said deadpan.

Jounouchi chuckled. "I don't think he'll be asking me about intentions any time soon."

"I don't want to know what you said to him, I can imagine quite well on my own."

"I'm sure it wouldn't be far from the truth either. Hey, are you okay?"

"Yes," Kaiba said coolly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Just checking."

"You don't have to. I'll let you know if I'm not. I'm going to hang up now, because we're here. "

***

He'd forgotten how much his friends meant to the blond, Kaiba thought sourly. Jou had told him that it had been a while since the old gang had gathered together, mostly in deference to his hurt feelings after he and Ryou had split, but they'd easily fallen back into the patterns of light-hearted kidding that had permeated their high school clique. It all came back to Kaiba as he observed them interacting, and with it came the isolating feelings of being the loner, the outsider, even though in the past he'd met their overtures of friendship with open derision. He'd never believed that friends were all that important, but the past few months he'd spent with Jounouchi had lead him to re-think that viewpoint. In fact, since he and Jou had become friends he'd been more open to entertaining friendships with Yugi and Yami, and the four of them had gone to dinner several times as their hectic schedules allowed.

Outwardly, he'd maintained that the time spent with the other couple had been tolerable at best, but inwardly, he'd found himself looking forward to going out with people with whom he felt that he could relax in front of. Both Yami and Yugi accepted him for who he was-actually seemed to genuinely enjoy his company-and while he hated to admit it, he'd found that comforting. Somehow though, he sensed that Jounouchi could see right through his carefully crafted façade of indifference. The blond, for his part, never pressured him into expanding their social circle, choosing instead to hang out with Honda or Yugi on nights when Kaiba worked late or attended business functions.

What he hadn't been prepared for was the flash of jealousy that had possessed him when Ryou wrapped himself around Jounouchi in greeting. Nor had he found any relief in the face of Malik's obvious discomfort at Ryou's overfriendliness, though Jounouchi's stiffened reserve did help assuage his envy somewhat. He still felt murderous intentions toward the Englishman though for several moments after the blond had wriggled out of Ryou's death-like grasp. If he hadn't felt so possessive over Jounouchi, he'd have probably found it amusing in the same way that Honda and Otogi had. The both barely contained snickers at the tableau that Jou's uncomfortableness presented; under other circumstances Kaiba would have found it comical. He was an astute observer of body language, and he could tell that something was amiss between Ryou and Malik, and he was determined to protect his claim to Jounouchi. He wasn't about to let Ryou fuck up months of pursuit. But he was loath to make any kind of a scene, to exhibit any weakness in front of Jounouchi's friends and his old rivals.

Instead, he repaired to the futon alone to lick his wounds. He closed his eyes and listened to the cheerful conversation and laughter that drifted in through the open door. The strains of some popular love song that he couldn't name filtered through, he grimaced at its treacly message. He shouldn't have come, he thought bitterly. He should just beg off gracefully and go home. He'd never fit in with Jounouchi's group of friends, and listening to their reminiscences about the past, all pointedly circumventing any of his twisted behavior only hammered home how much of an outsider he would always be. At least they were being polite, though. Besides Ryou's transgression, it could have been a lot worse.

He felt someone straddle him and opened his eyes to Jounouchi's amber ones, brimming with concern.

"I know ya'd rather be somewhere-anywhere else." The blond said and then kissed him. He let his lips part and Jounouchi eagerly accepted his invitation. All thoughts of leaving fled as he reciprocated, hungrily devouring the taste of his lover, his body thrumming in an electrifying response. He wrapped his arms around Jou and pulled him into his lap. Their tongues wrestled for a few moments before the blond reluctantly pulled away. "But I'm glad you came back. And I promise to make it up to you tonight." He purred. He traced his fingertips along the brunet's jaw, thumb tracing his elegant cheekbone.

A small grin graced the brunet's face and he quirked an eyebrow as he thought of the possibilities of their own private party after Shizuka and Mokuba's had wound down. He felt his cock stiffen underneath Jou's ass, and Jou purposely ground against the hardness, eliciting a soft sigh from him.

"That's more like it." The blond whispered. "I promised ya you'd be thinking about me all day. I'm a man of my word."

He sighed and shook his head. "I don't belong here."

"What're you talking about? This is your brother's engagement party!" Jou looked at Kaiba in surprise.

"Those people are ~not~ my friends." He continued. "They all have every right to hate me for the way I've treated them. In fact I can't understand why you don't hate me."

"Don't be ridiculous! You were a kid! I thought you'd gotten over that when you hired Yugi ta work for you." Jou leaned his forehead on the brunet's. Y'know, we've all done things we weren't proud of. Myself included." He added sheepishly. "I'm sure you could rattle off a whole laundry list of 'stupid things Jounouchi did.'" He smiled then. "And as for me hating you? Gah! For a genius ya sure are thick sometimes. If we'd been honest with each other years ago ... who knows where we'd be now." He gazed searchingly into the brunet's eyes before Kaiba pulled him into a blistering kiss.

"I'd like to think we'd still be right here," Kaiba whispered hoarsely when they separated for air.

"So would I-"

"Is everything all right in here?" Ryou's voice called from the kitchen door. Kaiba noticed anger flash in Jounouchi's eyes before he steeled himself and gazed over the brunet's shoulder and answered.

"Yes, everything's just fine, Ryou. Yah need somethin'?"

"Y-yes, I'm just going to grab a couple of beers, if that's okay."

"Be my guest." Jounouchi didn't wait for a reply. Instead he ravished Kaiba's mouth. Under any other circumstances the brunet would have been royally pissed to be used in such a manner, but after Ryou's little display earlier, he felt strangely satisfied listening to the other man bustle about hurriedly in the kitchen while he and Jounouchi were engaged in a heated embrace. He slid his hands through Jou's silky hair and worked his tongue and teeth along his neck, pleased at the blond's throaty growl. Dimly, he heard Ryou retreat, but he was too caught up in the moment to make mention of it, so thoroughly was he enjoying the blond's undivided attention. He nipped playfully at Jounouchi's lips, and catching the plump lower one between his teeth, he tugged at it gently.

Jou pulled away suddenly as Ryou called out again. "I'm sorry, I forgot the bottle opener." He leaned his head against Kaiba's shoulder.

"I dunno what the fuck his problem is." The blond said in exasperation when his ex finally went back outside after rummaging through a drawer for the opener.

"Buyer's remorse." Kaiba murmured distractedly.

"What?" Jou asked, momentarily confused by the expression.

Kaiba repeated, "Buyer's remorse. Maybe he's having second thoughts about the choices he's made. I would be."

Jou smiled. "Well I'm not. As a matter of fact I should be thanking him. Maybe I'll send him some flowers or somethin' tomorrow. But right now, I've a party to get back to hosting, even if that means I've got to drag you kicking and screaming out there. Seriously love, no one's holding your past against you. 'Those people' out there are probably the only people who don't care how much money you have. They accept you for who you are. 'Sides," he whispered conspiratorially, "I wanna make sure Ryou knows exactly what he's lost, and has not a chance of getting back."

"I never knew you to be so vindictive, Katsuya."

"Yeah, well you never broke my heart."

"I'll bear that in mind if I ever do."

Jou smiled at his lover. "You couldn't break it if you tried. Not that I want you to-try, that is."

Kaiba smiled back. "No worries there." He brushed his lips against Jou's, then added, "And anyone else who tries to will have to deal with me."

Jounouchi regarded him for a moment, and then laughed. "Hold on there, big guy, I can take care of myself, y'know." He took Kaiba's hand in his. "But I do need someone to help me take care of hosting this party. So whaddya say, can ya give me a hand, or is food service below the great Kaiba Seto."

"I think I can handle that," the brunet replied as Jou pulled him up into a standing position. "Just tell me what you need."

Kaiba soon found that working side-by-side with Jou distracted him enough to keep the troubling thoughts that he was plagued with at bay. Keeping busy in that way, allowed him to slip through the group purposefully, and after a while he found he was comfortable enough to join in some of the conversations. And for the first time, as he observed how evidently in love with Shizuka his brother was, Kaiba noticed that his heart didn't contract. In fact, as he gazed over at Jounouchi, who was expertly manning the grill while playfully swatting at Honda, who'd determined that his kibitzing would speed things along, Kaiba understood that his feelings for the blond existed on a different plane than his love for Mokuba. Suddenly he could visualize a future that included him in Mokuba's life, rather than him left behind wallowing in his own tormented past.

He made his way over to Jounouchi and Honda, catching the tail end of their conversation.

"So, you are going to get custody of Aiko, right?"

"Yeah, eventually. They're just bein' thorough with my background check, I guess. Good thing we were minors when we ran wild, ne?"

"No kidding bro, or you and I would both be up shit's creek!" Honda chortled.

Kaiba slid in between them, wrapping his arm around the blond's waist.

"So when am I going to meet her?" He asked softly, resting his head on his lover's shoulder. He felt Jou's body stiffen in his embrace.

"Ummm ... who, Aiko? Soon, I guess." Jounouchi slid the chickens he'd been grilling onto a cutting board and slipped out of Kaiba's embrace.

"You really think anyone's going to eat that Jou?" Yugi asked. "You've already stuffed us with shrimp, pulled pork, potato salad-"

"Cole slaw, corn on the cob ..." Otogi added. "Enough to feed a fucking army."

"Fine, I'll just put it away then."

"Oh no you won't," Honda threatened. "Not until after you lemme have a piece."

"Careful, or you'll lose your girlish figure," Otogi looped his fingers through Honda's pants and pulled him away from Jou.

"I can think of some exercise that will work off those extra calories." Honda murmured, pressing his body against his lover. He captured Otogi in a torrid kiss, and the green-eyed man boldly groped the brunet's ass.

"You two need ta get a room!" Jou said in mock admonishment.

"Hmmf." Honda shot back. "A little birdie told me a certain blond was going at it hot and heavy with a certain CEO earlier today."

"Well at least we had the decency to go off by ourselves!" Jou stuttered, blushing profusely. He cast a glare towards Ryou, who stared back wide-eyed. He shook his head, wordlessly protesting his innocence.

"Mokuba." Kaiba hissed under his breath.

Jou turned and his raven-haired friend burst out in giggles. "I couldn't help it, I'm just too happy for you two!" Mokuba confessed. "I saw you right before Ryou went in to get his drinks, and I had to tell someone-"

"Someone? How 'bout ~everyone~" Jou retorted.

"Well it's not like it was a big secret, Jou. ~Everyone~ in Japan already believed you guys were an item," Shizuka defended.

"That's nice, sis, take ~his~ side." Jounouchi grinned. Then his face darkened, and he turned to Kaiba and asked softly. "So, are we ... official?"

"What do you think?" Kaiba responded. Before Jou could answer, he covered the blond's lips with his own and kissed him passionately. Amidst the raucous cheers, Honda grabbed the cutting board that threatened to fall to the ground and brought the chicken inside. Jou laced his now-freed hands at Kaiba's nape and pressed against him, oblivious to all around.

"Erm ... did someone say something about a room?" Otogi asked laconically, setting off a wave of appreciative snickers.

Kaiba pulled away from his lover and as Jou groaned softly he whispered, "Time enough for that later ... let's move this thing along."

"'Kay, I believe I have some chicken to serve."

Malik followed him into the kitchen.

"I need to talk to you," the Egyptian said.

"I don't think we have too much to say to each other."

"Oh, still carrying a grudge, Jounouchi? I would think that Kaiba is a far better prize than Ryou." The lavender-eyed man sneered.

"He is," Jou agreed smugly. "So whaddya want?" He reached for his cleaver and began to chop the chicken into serving-sized pieces, far more forcefully than necessary, smiling to himself when Malik flinched.

"Has Ryou been talking to you?" Malik asked after a moment.

"If he were, why would I tell you?" Jou asked angrily. "You didn't give me that courtesy."

"Because you're far more decent than me." Malik answered flippantly.

Jounouchi sized up the other blond, somehow sensing fear behind the defiant front he was putting up.

"No, he hasn't." He heard an audible sigh of relief. "And if he did come to talk to me, I'd tell him to find someone else's shoulder to cry on."

"Why is he so unhappy?" Malik asked aloud to himself.

Jou shrugged. "Look Malik, maybe it has nothing to do with you or me. Maybe it's not in his nature to be happy, or monogamous for that matter."

"Oh? Why do you say that Jounouchi?"

"He left you and then left me to go back to you."

"You gave him the boot. Maybe he didn't want to leave."

Jounouchi snorted. "So what do you want from me? To tell you I don't want him back? I think I've made that clear from the start. One thing though, if you lay a hand on him, I ~will~ come after you."

"That's done with, Jounouchi. We were going through a rough time and I wasn't dealing with it well. I promised him I'd never hurt him again, and I've kept it. But he presses all my buttons, it's as if he wants me to. Maybe we need couples therapy." Jou turned to see Kaiba standing quietly in the doorway.

"Honestly, that wouldn't be a bad idea. But right now, if you don't mind, I've got a party to get back to." He stopped in front of Kaiba. "Are you okay?"

The brunet nodded and smirked, looking past him at Malik. "One down one to go." He said to no one in particular.

Later, Kaiba watched Ryou trail Jou into the kitchen when he went to brew the coffee and tea. When neither appeared after a few minutes, he made his way surreptitiously to the stairs. There he could eavesdrop on their animated conversation.

"Jou I only asked you if you were happy!"

"Several times, and I told you that I was, case closed."

"Don't you even care if I am?"

"Of course I care, as a ~friend~. But I think you're looking for more, and I don't know how I can be clearer, so I'll spell it out once more." Jounouchi said with exaggerated patience. "I'm with Kaiba, and I'm very happy. You're with Malik, and if you aren't happy, then do something about it, but that something ain't gonna involve me."

"Malik wants us to see someone about our problems. I thought-"

"You thought what? That someone should be me?"

"No, of course not! I just thought you'd-you should know."

"Well now I know. I'm glad you guys are going to work it out." Jou dismissed him as the teakettle whistled. Ryou stood there for a few moments while Jounouchi pointedly ignored him, before brushing past Kaiba on his way down the stairs. Once Ryou had settled next to his lover, the brunet took the opportunity to capture the blond in a hug.

"How much of that did you hear?" Jou asked as he melted against him.

"Enough." Kaiba kissed his neck. "Enough to know you're very happy." He smiled against the pulse he felt against his lips.

 

Mokuba and Shizuka were the last to leave. It took about fifteen minutes for the four of them to fit all the gifts into the back of the limo, Jounouchi noting with some trepidation the sexual nature of most of them. Even Yugi and Yami had bought Shizuka a sexy outfit especially for her wedding night.

Yami had murmured apologetically, "Aiko is going to need some cousins, ne? Besides, Shizuka asked Yugi to make sure I brought her back something from my trip to New York. I asked Anzu to help me pick something out that Shizuka would like." His little sister had grown up, Jou sighed, wondering, yet knowing full well he didn't want to know the answer to whether or not she was still a virgin.

After they'd loaded all the gifts, Shizuka had insisted that she and Mokuba stay and help with the cleanup. Jounouchi swore that they were delaying their exit just to spite him, to keep him from jumping all over Kaiba.

"Really, I can clean up my own apartment, sis. Please, just go."

"No, oni-chan, I insist that we help clean up. You've been more than generous to us, it's the least we can do." She answered obliviously.

He looked to Mokuba for rescue. "Mokie, explain to Shizuka that it is not ~proper~ for the guests of honor to clean up." He glared at his young friend meaningfully.

He knew he was doomed by the angelic expression reflected back at him. "Jou, you know how Shizuka gets when she's made up her mind." He offered.

"Hn, don't think I'll forget about this." Jou said sourly.

"Mokuba," Kaiba intervened, "Why don't you help me outside?" I just got a call from Tanaka about a minor glitch in the computer system at Kaiba Corp. If we can come up with a quick fix, neither of us will need to go into the office tonight.

Jou washed the sink-full of dishes at a rapid clip while Shizuka put away the party leftovers.

"Jou, Mom's been asking about the adoption." Shizuka mentioned as she dried the dishes he'd washed.

"What did you tell her?" He asked, eyes narrowing. There was no way ~she~ was going to become Aiko's doting grandmother. Though, she probably wouldn't assume that role anyway he thought.

"Just that she needed to talk to you about it. You know she's against it."

"I don't care. It's not her decision to make now is it?" He replied through gritted teeth.

"No," Shizuka agreed. "I told her you were going to make a wonderful father. And now with Seto, you'll be a family!"

He felt a shiver of apprehension run up his spine. He'd never thought about sharing his parenting duties of Aiko with anyone, and Kaiba had never expressed more than mild interest in the little girl, that is until today. But they'd not been involved as anything more than friends before last night. He wondered how being in a relationship with Kaiba might change that.

"'Zuki. We just started, I wouldn't go planning our future just yet." They'd finished the dishes, and Jou noted with satisfaction that the apartment was in order. "Everything's done, why don't you and Mokie take off?"

"You don't think we'd make a good family?" Kaiba asked from the doorway.

"I didn't say that!" Jou said hurriedly. "I don't want to rush anything between us."

Kaiba grabbed him tightly. "Rush? What were you just saying before? We've a lot of lost time to make up for." He turned to Mokuba. "And speaking of lost time ... you heard Katsuya, it's time for you to leave." He smirked.

Shizuka giggled. "Okay, Kaiba-kun. We get the hint."

"Finally!" Jou said under his breath, earning him a swat from his younger sibling before she and Mokuba said their goodbyes.

Once they were finally alone, Kaiba pulled a bottle of Port from the satchel he'd brought with him.

"Mmmm. That's a great way to top off the evening," Jou said wearily while Kaiba poured them each a glass.

Kaiba eyed the blond thoughtfully. "Katsuya, I want to meet Aiko, after all she's going to be part of the family."

"Why are you pushing this all of a sudden?" Jou asked defensively.

"Why are you resisting it?" Kaiba countered.

"Because-because just last night you weren't sure that we had a future-"

"I also said last night that I loved you. Do you think I throw those words around lightly?"

Jou shook his head vigorously. "Neither do I!" He took a deep breath. "Look, I just want to take this slow-for you. I'm not going anywhere, I'm right where I want to be, but I don't want you to feel trapped. I thought that bringing Aiko into this would be too much. I don't want her to be confused or hurt either, if it doesn't work out between us."

"Regardless of what happens between us, she and I will be part of the same family," Kaiba said stiffly.

"Seto, don't be mad about this," He pulled the reluctant brunet into an embrace. They both stood, leaning together for a few moments. Jou could feel the tension leaving his lover's body. Suddenly, he didn't know why he'd been so apprehensive before about letting Kaiba meet Aiko. What he said made perfect sense. He rested his head against Kaiba's shoulder and whispered softly. "You're right. I want you to meet her, because I know you're going to love her as much as I do." They stood in quiet contemplation, Kaiba feeling more and more of Jou's weight slowly shifting against him.

"You must be exhausted, I think a bath and a backrub is in order."

"You offering?" Jou asked. The brunet nodded his head.

"Then I accept." He smiled impishly then. "Though I'm thinking I'd like a little more than a backrub. He trailed his fingers teasingly down Kaiba's bare forearm. "I was hoping you were planning to stay over again."

Kaiba pointed to the satchel. "This time I came prepared." He smirked as he grabbed Jounouchi. His tongue skimmed along the blond's lower lip before delving into the moist heat of his mouth. He tasted of the spicy port and chocolate, and Kaiba found it to be unbearably delicious. He pushed Jounouchi against the counter, pressing their bodies together tightly, relishing the hardness of the blond's groin pressing against his thigh. Happy that there was nothing, no one, left to disturb them.

***

They were touching each other, running hands over clothed bodies; it was both exhilarating and arousing. They kissed each other hungrily, all the teasing of the day, all the delays and interruptions, had driven each to distraction. Now they attacked each other at a fevered pace. The ring of Kaiba's cell halted their heated explorations.

"D'ya have to get that?" Jou asked breathlessly. The hoarseness in his voice sent shivers up and down the CEO's spine.

"Don't worry, I've no intention of stopping now." Kaiba murmured over the incessant ring. He slid his hands under Jou's shirt, still damp from his dishwashing, and Jou moaned softly. With the help of the blond, he slid the shirt over Jou's head, revealing his lithe torso. He absently traced the outline of the dragon that adorned the blond's shoulder, and then caressed his cheek. "Besides, if it's important," Kaiba continued, "When they get my voicemail, they'll call Mokuba." He smiled and gazed into the Jou's half-closed eyes. "And I find interrupting Mokuba" He kissed his enticing mouth, letting his lips linger over the blond's, "And your sister," he continued as he kissed along the contour of his jaw line, and Jou nuzzled against him. When he reached Jounouchi's ear, he finished, "A far more satisfying solution." Kaiba snickered softly against Jou's neck, and breathed in deeply the scent of his skin.

"Payback's a bitch," Jounouchi agreed. His fingers traced along the contours of Kaiba's face. The brunet closed his eyes and let his lover take control, finding Jounouchi's aggressiveness and eagerness exquisitely erotic.

"Ng. That feels good." He purred. Jounouchi was working his way down the smooth column of Kaiba's throat, bestowing it with nips and licks. His hands tugged at the open collar of Kaiba's shirt, and the brunet felt the buttons give way and then calloused fingertips skimmed lightly over his taut nipples. He threw his head back and groaned wantonly. "Do that again!"

Jounouchi obliged, this time catching the erect peaks between each thumb and forefinger, rolling them gently. Kaiba's back arched with pleasure and he cupped Jou's ass roughly as Jou's thumbs pressed over the hardened nubs. He slid his hands down over Kaiba's ribcage, his mouth trailing, seeking one tender bud to tease as a hand slid under the brunet's waistband. He bit down firmly on it as his palm slid under the brunet's boxers and along his tumescent shaft.

Jounouchi tugged impatiently at the offending garments, and Kaiba felt cool air surround his unfettered cock before Jou dropped to his knees. As he stepped out of his pants and boxers, Kaiba thought he wanted the blond to slow down, that he wanted to fuck him at a leisurely pace, but when his sex became encased in the moist heat of Jou's talented mouth, his baser need to climax overwhelmed him, and he thrust into the alluring cavern. Jounouchi pushed back lightly on Kaiba's hips to avoid gagging, and the touch proved too much-Kaiba gasped in surprise as he exploded into Jou's mouth.

For his part, Jounouchi easily swallowed the metallic elixir, and his tongue lazily lapped around Kaiba's velvety crown as his hands fumbled to release his own neglected erection from the confines of his jeans. Kaiba's hands threaded through Jou's silken locks and he roughly pulled him to standing position, Jou's loosened clothes pooled around his ankles.

"Wow-" Jounouchi managed, before Kaiba ravished his mouth, tongue forcing its way deep into the recesses; he tasted his own cum now mixed with the spicy and sweet flavors and felt a stirring in his groin. He knew it would be a while before he was ready to take his lover, but in the interim there were so many delicious ways in which he could tease and torment the blond. His hands traced abstract patterns across Jounouchi's back, mapping out each contour and plane, until each found a firm cheek, he then leveraged Jounouchi's semi-clad body against his own. The hardness of the blond's cock against his naked thigh sent a thrill down his spine.

Kaiba trailed his hands over his lover's shoulders, and down his muscular arms, pulling his hands behind his back and capturing both wrists in one hand, and with his free hand he gently cupped Jou's cheek, sliding his fingers through his tousled hair, dampened from perspiration.

"No touching," Kaiba whispered into his ear. "Keep your hands where they are, understand?" He felt Jounouchi's head nod slightly, and he let go of his captive wrists.

Jounouchi clasped his hands behind his back and watched as Kaiba stepped back to better see the vision the blond presented. He saw the carnal hunger in the brunet's blue eyes, his pupils dilated so far as to make them seem black. Jounouchi groaned wantonly as Kaiba's hands caressed his chest, leaning into them for harder contact. Kaiba pulled back dancing his fingertips teasingly over Jou's heated skin. He chuckled as the blond squirmed closer. "Nn, uh, uh," he chided. "Don't move. That would be cheating." He teased.

Resigned, Jou leaned back against the counter. He whimpered as Kaiba's hand stroked lightly over his weeping head, and nearly swooned as he watched Kaiba languorously lick the pre-cum off of his fingers.

"You taste so good, Katsuya." The brunet kissed him then, sharing his taste. Kaiba gazed deeply into Jou's honey-colored eyes. "You turn me on, you have such a beautiful body." He continued. "It's absolutely perfect. It's everything I ever dreamed it would be." He slipped his hand between Jounouchi's thighs, cupping his balls. He could feel the blond's body trembling in anticipation. "I want to make love to you. To show you how much you mean to me." He felt his erection growing as he watched the reaction to his words and actions in his lover's face. Jounouchi's cheeks flushed adorably and his pupils darkened. His lips parted and his pink tongue darted out, skimming his lips before disappearing behind his teeth.

Kaiba brushed the blond's lips gently with his tongue, and Jounouchi felt his cock pulse under Kaiba's artful strokes. "Please," Jou whispered hoarsely.

"Please what, lover?"

"Please fuck me," he pleaded. "I need you-"

"Tch, tch, tch. I'm not going to fuck you baby, not tonight." Kaiba purred.

"N-"

"I will make love to you though, in due time," he continued. He smiled to himself. Jounouchi had no idea how sexy he looked, so needful for his release, begging to be fucked, standing obediently still and allowing the brunet unimpeded access to his heavenly body. "But not before I pleasure you a little more."

"Gods." Jou moaned. He found that the key of Kaiba's sultry voice and what he was saying turned him on more than he'd ever been before. He imagined he would melt into a boneless heap if the brunet teased him much longer. Kaiba's tongue circled the aureole of his left nipple while one hand teased its twin, and his other slipped further between Jou's thighs, his index finger rubbing lightly over his anus. He bucked reflexively when Kaiba began to teeth on his pebble-hard nub as his finger teased at his entrance. "Please," he whined. "Let me touch-"

"No." Kaiba replied sternly. "Not yet." He continued to run his tongue and fingers lightly over Jounouchi's most sensitive areas, reveling in the moans and pants his actions drew from his responsive lover.

Jounouchi's breaths were coming in ragged gulps, the voluntary restrictions heightening his awareness of the way in which his lover was touching him. It felt so damned good. He was losing sense of time and place, all coherent thoughts focusing on the sensations emanating from the touches of Kaiba's tongue, teeth and fingers, and the fact that it was Kaiba Seto who was causing such ecstasy within him.

"You make me ..." His voice trailed off. "You. Make. Me. Feel. So. Good. Setooooo." He grit breathlessly, forcing his body to remain still under his lover's ministrations. He felt a tightening in his belly that was a harbinger to his climax. "God Seto ... pleeeeaze," he moaned, "I'm gonna cum."

His confession stopped Kaiba cold. "Not yet, Katsuya. Where's the lube?"

"In the medicine chest" he gasped. "Pleease, Seto. Hurry!"

"Take your clothes off," the brunet commanded. "And get the bed ready." He smirked at the thunderstruck expression on Jounouchi's face before he kissed him passionately. "I promise to make it worth your while." He said playfully as he went to retrieve the lubricant. He smiled in satisfaction as he saw Jou hurriedly stumbling out of his pants as he made his way around the counter to the futon. When he returned, Kaiba was greeted with a breathtaking view of his lover's perfect ass. Jou was doubled over, laying the mattress out flat.

Kaiba slid his fingers down the contours of that exquisite behind and delved one slender digit along the crevice. Before Jou could turn toward him, he pushed him onto the bed and immediately joined him there.

Jounouchi was shaking uncontrollably with desire-every touch, every caress, every casual graze of contact sent sparks coursing through his body. He wanted one thing and one thing only, to have Kaiba's cock buried deep inside him, to have his hand wrapped around his engorged shaft, thrusting into him and stroking his sex until he came all over them both. He rolled onto his back, but Kaiba rolled him onto his side and spooned him. He caught the vanilla scent of the lubricant milliseconds before a slicked digit slid easily into his anus; he bore down on the intruder, seating it deeper inside. Kaiba curled his finger slightly and probed further, seeking the bundle of nerves that would take his lover to the next plateau.

Jou's vision went white suddenly, as Kaiba's finger brushed against something deep inside his channel. Much to the brunet's delight, his lover uttered a guttural string of monosyllables as he stroked that spot over and over again. He nibbled on Jounouchi's earlobe, before the blond shivered under his hot breath as he whispered, "And how does ~this~ make you feel?"

He withdrew the digit and worked quickly to coat his shaft while Jounouchi mewled disconsolately. He carefully lined himself up with the blond's entrance, and slowly pushed himself in, fighting against his own wanton desire to pound Jounouchi through the mattress. From this position he could fulfill his own fantasy of a long slow fuck. Jou's tight velvety heat was unbearably arousing, and Kaiba couldn't imagine feeling this way with anyone else. He wanted to give of himself freely and completely, to fill his lover with his seed and his life with his love. His hands found Jounouchi's throbbing erection, and at his touch the blond exclaimed, "I can't hold back much longer, I'm sorry!"

"Shh," he soothed, "Let yourself go, Katsuya. It's okay."

The sweet torment had proven to be too much for Jounouchi. He thrust erratically into Kaiba's smooth palm, as his orgasm blossomed out from his groin, his skin flushed from the heat as his seed spilled out over the brunet's hand and onto the bedding. Kaiba continued to fuck him slowly, managing to keep to the even pace he'd set, which was best for the spoon position they were in. His own thoughts turned to his building need for completion and overwhelming desire to bury his cock deeper in Jounouchi.

He pulled out and whispered, "Can you manage on your hands and knees?"

Jounouchi rolled over wordlessly, ass high in the air, resting his head on his forearms. Once again, Kaiba was breathless from the display. He marveled at how stunning his blond lover looked, open and prone, waiting patiently for him to fuck him into oblivion. He knelt behind Jou and wasted little time reseating himself. From this angle, he knew he would be able to rub against Jounouchi's prostate, ensuring the blond as much pleasure as the act of driving deep inside of him was for the brunet. His ears were rewarded with grunts and gasps that punctuated each thrust. He slid his hands over Jounouchi's hips and fondled his flaccid sex, smiling at the stirrings of life in it that his ministrations were causing. As he neared his climax, Jounouchi's cock had sprung to full erection and he smile wickedly at his idea to take care of that. He drove deep into the blond, enthralled that Jou's hips rose to meet each thrust, and with a lustful roar he spilled his seed in his lover's channel before they collapsed together on the bed.

Kaiba lay on his back next to Jou, who'd turned on his side away from him. After a few moments of bliss, as his heart began to slow down, the brunet realized that Jounouchi was no longer lying still, but had begun to furtively make some rather familiar movements. He rolled over and spooned his lover.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

Jounouchi froze. "I-You-What I mean ta say is-"

"Do you think I'd be so selfish as to leave you ... wanting?" He wrapped his hands around the blond's, which had been busily working his erection.

Jounouchi felt Kaiba's cock twitch against his ass. "If we keep this up, we're going to be going at it all night!" He groaned.

"And that would be bad, how?" The brunet teased as he pushed away Jou's hands and began to stroke him in earnest.

"Ng!" The blond managed, arching against Kaiba. The brunet climbed onto the other side of him so that they were facing each other, and resumed the focus of his attention. "Please, don't stop," Jou babbled. He felt raw and needy and craved the brunet's touch like a drug. Kaiba dipped his head and suckled gently at the hollow formed by juncture of his neck and collarbone, before journeying further down his body. Jounouchi rolled onto his back, giving the brunet full access to his sculpted torso. Kaiba reciprocated with gentle laves and nips, the softness of his caressing tongue forcing more strings of nonsensical syllables to fall from the blond's lips. "Please," he managed one last time as that hot mouth found his engorged cock. He gasped raggedly as Kaiba spread his legs, pushed his thighs forward, and soothed his anus by lapping at it gently with his supple tongue.

Jounouchi bucked involuntarily until Kaiba planted his hands firmly on his hips and held him immobile. The brunet continued the sublime torture of his lover's entrance, while at the same time he slipped a hand over his spit-lubricated shaft. Jounouchi threw his head back, his eyes rolling up in their sockets. The sheer magnitude of the pleasure the brunet was causing in his body broke over him in waves as he once again found release. Kaiba crawled up next to him, nestling his head onto Jou's shoulder. He wrapped his arms around the brunet, and nuzzled his face into his hair.

"That was-"

"Fucking amazing." Jou finished his lover's thought. They lay there quietly, and Jou felt himself drifting off, only to be gently shaken back into consciousness by the brunet.

"Come on, get up," Kaiba insisted.

"No ... sleep," the blond whined.

"After we get cleaned up. We are not sleeping in all of this cum-soaked bedding. It's wet and it's cold, and it definitely spoils the mood."

"Ng." Jou responded, barely feeling Kaiba extricate himself from his grasp.

It felt like a split second later when Kaiba was once again tugging at his arm. "Katsuya, wake up, the bath is ready." He opened his eyes slightly to the image of Kaiba standing over him.

"Just a minute," he mumbled, before pulling himself in a sitting position. Kaiba was right, the cooling moisture on the bedding was anything but erotic. He stood up and stripped it all from the mattress, then pulled a sheet and blanket from the chest that doubled as a coffee table. Together they made the bed up, before Kaiba led him by the hand into the bathroom.

Kaiba slipped into the deep-soak tub first. "Lean back on me," he said as Jou climbed in. The water was tepid, and the blond found it quite refreshing. He knew it couldn't be too late, but the day had been long ... and the sex ... ~their~ mind-blowing lovemaking, had sapped his remaining strength. He lay back against his lover, eyes closed, allowing the water to soothe the chafes on his body.

Slowly, yet efficiently Kaiba washed his lover's body. He was as careful as he was thorough. His mind drifted over the past two days of passion, the culmination of a friendship borne out of their siblings' engagement, the seeds of which had been planted in their misspent adolescence. He waited gingerly for the nay-saying voice to pick apart this fragile beginning, to tell him that it was just a pipedream that was bound to explode into nothing, and smiled. For once it had been silenced.

Jounouchi sighed in contentment. "I could get used ta this," He smiled.

"So could I," Kaiba agreed.

"Hey," the blond exclaimed softly, "It's your turn."

Kaiba turned his back to Jou and allowed him to return the favor. "Katsuya?" he asked tentatively.

"Hn," the blond replied as he rinsed off soapsuds off of his lover's shoulders.

"I love you." He said, cringing slightly from the admission, but at the same time feeling a slight thrill run through his body as the truth of the statement hit him. He'd never managed to tell any of his lover's that he loved them-he'd offered up various platitudes, none of which ever came near to the declaration he had made twice within the past 24 hours.

"I love you too," the blond replied easily. He embraced the brunet and rested his cheek against his back. "And I mean that," he said bemusedly. "I really do."

***

Jounouchi sat in the waiting area of his lawyer's office. He was nervous and anxious, and more than a little peeved that the older gentleman, Tanaka Isamu was running late. But after all the months of waiting he consoled himself that it was only a few minutes more before he would become Aiko's legal guardian. She'd trusted him throughout all the delays and he was ecstatic that he would finally be able to bring her home for good tonight. He still found it hard to believe that the logjam that had held up the adoption process for so long had finally disappeared into thin air, leaving a clear path to his becoming her father.

When he'd left her earlier at the orphanage, on his way to the lawyer's office, her one little satchel of belongings-the sum total of her entire worldly goods-had already been packed for her. Rini, having replaced the rag doll Kaiya as Aiko's favorite plaything had been laid protectively on top. Jou had promised her that he'd be back as soon as he could to bring her to her new life, one that they would share with Kaiba Seto.

He thought about the recent weeks and how his life had been turned upside down and inside out by his new relationship with his sexy lover. At times he felt as if he were on a runaway train, and he would become apprehensive with the blind certainty that something would come along to derail it. But he couldn't point his finger to anything specific. Maybe, he thought, it was because things seemed to be going so well that he had to imagine something would come along to fuck it up.

He smiled contentedly. Being involved with the brunet the past few weeks had been nothing short of amazing; he felt heat spreading from his groin just thinking about his talented lover. Kaiba must have memorized the Kama Sutra six ways to Sunday, because every time they'd made love since their first tryst, Jounouchi had been screwed in so many different positions that he'd lost count. He only knew that each session left him more and more enthralled with his lover, and he certainly couldn't complain about being an exclusive bottom.

He thought about the day that Kaiba and Aiko had finally met. It had been awkward at first, Aiko still being mistrustful of other adults. But Seto had been inordinately patient with her-not pressuring her into engaging with him at all-and by the end of their first day together Aiko had shyly given him a kiss on the cheek goodbye. Their relationship had warmed up considerably since, and she'd taken to calling them each 'daddy.' He felt a twinge of jealousy that Kaiba had so easily found a spot in the little girl's heart, but he was able to disregard it because he believed it to be born out of the cues she'd taken from his interactions with his lover.

What filled him with the most apprehension was that he'd agreed to move in with Kaiba. He knew that ultimately, it had been where their relationship was heading-he spent as much time at the Kaiba mansion as the brunet did at his place, and it seemed logical that he would eventually move to Kaiba's palatial estate-but he worried that they were moving it along too fast. Kaiba's doubts still haunted Jou, but the brunet had been more than reassuring that he believed that Jounouchi was 'the one.' His breath hitched as he thought of the many times during their pillow talk after making love, they'd marveled about the intensity of the feelings they shared, and how they both were certain that the emotions they felt were real.

In the end it hadn't taken that much convincing for Jounouchi to agree to move into the Kaiba mansion, but only after Kaiba agreed that they would look for a new place to live after Mokuba and Shizuka's wedding. It relieved Jounouchi that the brunet had been open to moving out of the very place where he'd suffered so much abuse. Jou thought it meant Kaiba might have finally begun to let go of the wretched events of his past.

One point where Jounouchi had remained stubbornly adamant, was finding a suitable car for his new family of two. Kaiba had offered him the new Lexus hybrid, which he'd coveted as a sweet ride, or his choice of any other of the many cars the brunet owned, but Jou had insisted that he could find one on his own. Despite being flummoxed by the blond's willfulness over the issue, the brunet had relented, and Jou had found a used Honda Civic that had low mileage and was in decent shape. He'd been relieved that Kaiba had conceded that point even though he knew he was being a bit unreasonable. He just didn't want to be totally consumed by the brunet's wealth, which Jou imagined it would be easy to let happen.

It would be tempting to just let Seto take care of him, to take care of all his wants and needs. Kaiba had more money and more clout than the Emperor, and yet Jounouchi knew that part of their mutual attraction was that he'd had never bought into the money and power that the brunet had assumed. Kaiba liked that he was independent, and Jounouchi needed to maintain his sense of independence.

All in all, Jounouchi believed that there was little worry that things wouldn't work out for them. It wasn't like they didn't ~know~ each other and their physical chemistry had been the icing on the cake; and he didn't see that dissipating any time soon.

His musings were interrupted by the lawyer's young secretary. "Mr. Jounouchi, Mr. Tanaka is ready for you now. Please follow me."

He cast a brilliant smile at the woman as he entered the lawyer's private office.

 

Kaiba Seto glanced down at his cell phone and noted the time. Right about now Jounouchi would probably be signing the guardianship papers that would legally make Aiko his daughter. He sat impassively as the sales rep for some nameless manufacturing company courting a small piece of Kaiba Corp.'s limited outsourcing droned on and on about 'state-of-the art plants' and 'cutting-edge technologies'. He was happy that Mokuba was sitting next to him, comfortable in the knowledge that his younger sibling was soaking up the facts and figures that were being presented, and would be able to fill him in on any of the mind-numbing minutia that he might miss. He let his mind wander, and soon found himself thinking about his golden lover. His mouth went dry as he relived some of the more gratifying sexual moments he'd experienced in their new relationship, and he quickly diverted his reflections to much less arousing thoughts.

It had taken him a while to fully understand Katsuya's need for independence; that the blond wasn't resisting him per se, but what he represented. It had been Mokuba whose off-hand comment about Shizuka's independent spirit that had connected the dots for the brunet, and mindful of his own lover's qualms over his generosity (which he found unfathomable, the money he spent on the blond was mere pocket change), he'd refrained from overwhelming Jou with monetary aid. He knew the blond struggled financially, but he also saw that he was frugal and spent what money he had well. That is, besides using his savings to buy Shizuka her wedding gown. Not that he was complaining, because ultimately that lack of funding had convinced Jounouchi that moving into the Kaiba estate was a wise choice. After a few days of fruitless searching, the blond had determined that he'd never be able to come up with the security and 2-months rent required by any of the places he found suitable for his soon-to-be charge.

He tuned back in to the presentation, listening with pride as Mokuba grilled the representative, finding his brother's line of questioning to be both pointed and thorough. He smiled to himself. Mokuba was every bit the shark that he was. He pitied the poor fool who mistook his sibling's sunny personality and even temper as a sign of weakness or mental frailty.

Accepting Mokuba as his equal, and perhaps as better than him in some aspects of business, had been an arduous journey for the CEO. It had been far easier to accept Yugi Motou as an expert gamer, and to take him on as a vice president. But he'd never wiped Motou's nose when he was sick or comforted him after a nightmare. Kaiba had never fully understood or imagined what his life would be like when Mokuba had come of age. He'd always seen himself as his brother's keeper; Mokuba's wedding plans had been a deluge of cold water, an altering of the fundamental core of his reality.

In those first few days he'd felt he was in a freefall with no safety net to fall back into. Regardless of the ultimate outcome, it had been fortuitous that Jounouchi had suggested Dr. Watanabe, and that he'd heeded the blond's advice. That was another relationship that had taken him some time to warm up to. He'd despised pouring his soul out to another human being, hated how weak it made him feel. But gradually, he'd come to see the strength in the ability to trust someone with his darkest secrets and not be judged for them, and to have that trust affirmed week after week. It had also made it easier to open up to his lover, though he'd still been unable to open up to Mokuba about his childhood, and he wasn't sure if he would ever be able to tell his younger sibling of the nightmare his adolescence had been.

He glanced at his watch again. If all had gone smoothly, and he was sure it had, Katsuya would have been done signing all the paperwork, and he would be on his way to pick Aiko up once and for all from that dreadful place, the orphanage.

He thought about the little girl who'd managed to steal a piece of his heart. He'd been surprised by the emotions she'd managed to evoke in him. But after all Jounouchi had told him about the life she'd lead before she'd ended up at the orphanage-the same place he'd been desperate to escape from-it had been easy for him to feel empathy toward her. It had been the steel he'd sensed in her calm demeanor. She'd been tremendously shy, but it hadn't been from fear so much as it seemed that she was appraising each new person she met and situation she was placed in. She'd also turned out to be quite bright. Jounouchi had had her IQ tested for placement in school and she'd done well enough to qualify for a gifted program. But he decided the main reason it was easy to love Aiko was because it was so evident how much she loved Jounouchi and he loved her. Just a few short months ago, he knew that he would have been made insanely jealous by their relationship.

Mokuba's voice brought him back to the present. "Thank you for your time, Oyama-san," the grey-eyed man rose to shake the hapless salesman's hand, "I believe we have more than enough information on which to base our decision."

He'd cut the salesman off mid-sentence and Oyama stood there for a few seconds with his mouth left hanging open. Kaiba, and Yugi, who'd also attended, each rose and shook Oyama's hand, effectively dismissing him. They waited in silence as the salesman gathered his things, Mokuba and Kaiba locking eyes, and the younger brother's head shaking imperceptibly. Kaiba nodded, that exchange underscoring how easily the two brothers communicated. The door shut, and Kaiba turned to Yugi.

"He was just so full of it," the smaller man said in disbelief, and all three broke out in mirthful laughter. As each man headed back to his respective office, Kaiba realized that the tenor of the office had changed. People seemed more relaxed, at ease around him, though his employees still treated him with respect and deference. It was refreshing. He wondered if this is what happened when one was in love. If somehow the euphoria he felt was rubbing off on the people around him.

 

All the papers had been signed and Tanaka had thoroughly explained to Jounouchi his legal responsibilities. The caseworker had been completely satisfied that Aiko would be properly cared for; Dr. Watanabe had presented a glowing report that had brought tears to Jounouchi's eyes. He hadn't been at all aware of the esteem in which his mentor had held him. It had warmed his heart to hear her listing all of what she termed as his fine qualities, and he believed in that moment that he'd risen above his humble and somewhat less than ideal beginnings.

It felt surreal that after the ordeal of the adoption process that he could just simply go pick Aiko up, but that was exactly what he was set to do. His heart was overflowing with joy as he left the lawyers offices and headed down to his car in the parking garage. He'd just gotten to the elevator when he realized he was missing his iPod. He found the headphones in his pocket, so thinking that he must have left the player in the reception area, he sprinted back down the long hallway to Tanaka's office. He slipped in the door unnoticed by the secretary, who had her back turned to him and was chatting on the telephone. He searched the chair for the Nano, finding it in the crease where the seat cushion met the upholstered arm.

He froze suddenly at something he overheard the young woman say. "I can't believe Kaiba Seto actually bought his boyfriend a daughter." He felt the blood drain from his face and his body grew cold as he digested the sentence he'd caught the secretary say.

He managed to escape the office without being detected and as he walked toward the elevator bank, a rage grew in his belly unmatched by any anger he'd ever experienced. He turned the sentence over and over again trying to uncover some alternative meaning, knowing full well there'd been nothing ambiguous about what he'd heard. By the time he'd reached the garage level, he'd come to the conclusion that Kaiba Seto had acted in a despicable way. And the only thing on his mind at that moment in time as he gunned his car out of the garage was that he was going to confront his lover and find out exactly why he had done something so contemptible.

***

"Why d'ya do it, Set?" Jounouchi stood in Kaiba's office door, hands on hips, eyes blazing.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen the blond so angry; probably not since they were in high school. He felt a cold chill from the memories of their verbal assaults that had at times degenerated into physical ones. He looked over his lover's shoulders and saw his secretaries casting furtive glances in his direction and he realized it wouldn't do to air whatever dirty laundry Jou had-the press would have a field day with a lover's quarrel.

"Katsuya, come in and close the door."

"I'm fine right where I am, okay? Just answer my question." The blond replied obstinately.

"Please, then lower your voice," Kaiba hissed, his own indignation rising. He couldn't think of anything he'd done to warrant Jounouchi's ire. He'd neither missed a special occasion, nor had he made any plans without discussing them with him.

"Why?" Jounouchi deliberately got louder. "Ya don't want your employees ta know you don't trust yah ~boyfriend~ to take care of himself?" Now all eyes were on the blond.

"Come in and close the door. Then we'll discuss whatever it is you think I've done." Kaiba said through gritted teeth.

As Jounouchi complied, slamming the door violently, he launched into a tirade. "Ya know, I gotta hand it to ya, I never ~thought~ you'd sink ~this~ low. Ya couldn't leave well enough alone, could ya? You had to go meddling in ~my~ business." He accused.

Kaiba was at a complete loss. He thought Jounouchi had surely gone off the deep end. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He said flatly and calmly, hoping to diffuse his hotheaded lover.

Jounouchi snorted. "You. Have. No. Idea. Lemme refresh yah memory, genius. Does the adoption ring any bells?"

Kaiba blanched. He'd assumed when his lawyer had approached him about Jou's adoption petition, he'd done so with the blond's tacit approval. He'd never thought to clear his actions with Jounouchi, choosing instead to work behind the scenes, but to hedge his bets, he'd garnered assurances all around that his little tip of the balance to Jounouchi's favor would never be revealed. His eye twitched angrily. Someone's head was going to roll, but before that he needed to get his lover to understand why he did what he did. It had been such a meaningless gesture on his behalf, a few thousand dollars endowment into the orphanage's coffers. It had been done through a subsidiary company, his brain worked feverishly, trying to figure out how Jounouchi made the connection. As he worked on it, he decided the best tactic was to elicit all the information he could from Jounouchi before showing his own hand.

"Yes, what about it?" He said evenly, though the hair stood up on the back of his neck. "I thought you were on your way to pick up Aiko and bring her home."

"Yah, I just left Tanaka's office after signing the papers. I was in a great mood-this was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life." He said bitterly. "But yah know what I overhear as I'm leaving? His secretary is on the pipe telling her girlfriend or boyfriend or husband-doesn't matter-but I overhear her say that 'Kaiba Seto bought his boyfriend a daughter.' Care ta explain that to me?"

Kaiba's eyes darkened in anger and he swore to himself that the woman would never hold another job. "I thought that Tanaka had informed you about the negotiations." He lied.

"Oh don't bullshit me. D'ya really think I'm that stupid? What'm I, just a fuckin' boytoy to you?"

"You asked Tanaka to speed things up ... remember, Katsuya?"

"Oh, don't pin this back on me! That didn't include ~you~ getting involved. You knew that I needed to do this on my own. I needed ta prove to myself that I could. God, you sat there and listened to me go on and on about how important this was to me, how I felt that I'd finally left all the stupid things I did as a kid behind. Did ya have a nice laugh at my expense?"

Kaiba felt his blood boiling. "Fine, Katsuya! You want the truth," he thundered. "Here it is. There was no way in hell you were getting custody of Aiko with ~your~ background." He slammed his hands down hard on his desk.

"What the hell are ya talking about?" Jou's voice wavered uncertainly.

"'You can take the boy out of the streets, but you'll never take the streets out of the boy.'" Kaiba mocked. "Her family's lawyer managed to pay someone off and get your juvenile records." He waited for his words to sink in, and glimpsed the abject horror in his lover's face before he set his jaw in denial.

"You're lying!" Jounouchi spat. "~You~ didn't think I could do it, did'ja. You had to ~help~ because you still think of me as 'third rate' don'cha?" He glanced down at his wrist and looked at the time. And it hit him, it had been staring him in the face all along. His eyes slitted dangerously. "What else have ya bought me? My doctoral degree? Is that why ya had the watch already engraved? Yeah right. You knew I could do it 'cause ya paid for it."

"Is that a question?" Kaiba asked, his voice dangerously quiet.

"Yah, it is. Answer it."

"No."

"No, what? 'No,' ya didn't, or 'no' ya won't?"

Kaiba crossed his arms defiantly. "I'm not going to dignify that with a response. If you think I'm that manipulative-that I think that little of you-then we've nothing more to discuss." He settled back down at his desk and began to read his email, ignoring the fuming blond in his office.

"So what, you're dismissing me?"

He glanced up at Jounouchi, still trying to maintain his calm demeanor, although he wanted more than anything to avenge himself-to humiliate the other man, to inflict as much damage as did the wild accusations he'd hurled at him. But he loved Jounouchi, he reminded himself, and he didn't want to cross that line. "I think it would be best for both of us if you just leave. We can talk more when you've cooled off."

The blond refused to be mollified. "No, we finish this here and now. Or-"

"Or what, Katsuya?"

"Just tell me why." Jounouchi said softly. He felt his anger draining away, and in its place crept in the feelings of low self-esteem that he'd fought for years to put behind him. Kaiba's words had cut to the bone. He realized hopelessly that no matter how much distance he put between who he was then and who he'd become, he'd never truly escape.

"I'm done explaining. You figure it out."

"That's it? That's all I'm gonna get?" Jou pressed in resignation.

"I want you to leave. Now." Kaiba said, and feeling a tidal flood of anger, he closed his eyes and attempted to breathe evenly. He wished with all his heart the blond would just let it go for the moment, so they could both regroup and look at the situation more objectively.

"Why? Can't you just admit you were wrong?"

"I don't need this drama right now, Jounouchi." Kaiba said tensely.

Jou bristled at the formal use of his surname. "You wanna talk about drama ~Kaiba~? You're a veritable minefield of ~drama~." The CEO glared at the blond. "What, you think it's a picnic walking around on eggshells all the fucking time? Never knowing when I'm gonna say something that's gonna set you off?"

"That's it!" Kaiba bellowed. His eyes narrowed to slits as he sized up the blond. There was absolutely no way he could allow him to get away with further assaults on his character. "We're done. If you think that I would be so manipulative, then ~you've~ been lying all along. ~You~ haven't been able to get past what happened when we were kids. I've told you things that I've never told anyone," he hissed, "and you use them the first chance you get as an opportunity to hurt me. I've sorely misjudged you. I believed you when you told me you loved me, but I can see now we were both fooling ourselves."

"We're through?" Jounouchi exclaimed incredulously. "Lemme get this straight, you'd rather dump me than admit you were wrong?" Jounouchi tried desperately to understand how the argument had so suddenly spiraled out of control, how Kaiba would be so ready to walk away from what they had.

"This isn't about being right or wrong, Katsuya. This is about you not trusting me. This is about you thinking there was something sinister behind my motives."

"What're you talking about? I never said anything like that-"

"Not in so many words. But the fact that you would accuse me of such heinous things ..." He sighed in resignation. "You're right. I should have told you what I was doing to ~help~ you. But would you have forgiven me if you didn't get custody of Aiko and found out that I could of helped in some way, but I refused? I can live with your unreasonableness, but not with the fact that you think me capable of such things. Just go now. I can't do this anymore. It's finished." He felt tears threaten to fall and his treasonous heart contracted from his words. He looked up to see tears falling freely from Jounouchi's eyes. The blond shook his head.

"You don't mean it ... you can't mean it." He said. Kaiba only stared back at him stoicly. "I don't care what you say, it can't be over." Jounouchi repeated to himself. "Set-I'm-"

"What, you're ~sorry~?" He sneered. "Please, don't patronize me. You came here spoiling for a fight. Enjoy the fruits of your labors." He said coldly.

"So that's it. We have one blowout and you're bailing?" Jounouchi felt his own anger rise to his defense.

"This isn't a numbers game. You've shown me that you will never fully trust me. I refuse to live like that, always second-guessing my actions where you are concerned, living in fear that they may be misconstrued in some way."

"You always were a cold-hearted prick." Jounouchi spat. He didn't see the pain flash in the brunet's eyes from his stinging remark. "I shouldn't be surprised that you'd pull the plug like this." He was thinking now about their living arrangements, how impossibly difficult it was going to be to find an apartment in the two weeks he had before Aiko began school and he started in his new position.

"And you always spoke before giving a thought to the repercussions." As if he were reading the blond's mind, he continued. "You can pick up your things from my place at your leisure. I'll make sure to stay out of your way." He said acidly.

"Fine, asshole. Have a nice life." Jounouchi cursed as he spun and left the brunet's office. He didn't bother to close the door behind him.

 

He'd driven around aimlessly for a couple of hours and had finally calmed down. He wasn't ready to face Aiko yet, to tell her that their plans had changed. He was still mad at the brunet for that, but he'd lost all his anger about the other things. Kaiba had been right. It had been his own fears and insecurities that had caused him to lash out in the way that he did.

He knew deep in his heart that the brunet hadn't been manipulative; he'd truly wanted to help him realize his dream of becoming Aiko's father. He'd gone about it wrongheaded and classically Kaiba-ish, but his heart was in the right place. Jounouchi scoffed at the notion that he'd floated-that Kaiba had actually had a hand in his being awarded his doctoral degree-that was ridiculous. But now he had to figure out what to do about convincing the brunet that he'd seen the error in his ways. It was easy to analyze exactly why the brunet had come to the conclusion that he needed to end their romance-a failed relationship reinforced his own fears that he would spend his life alone. Jounouchi was not about to let that happen without a serious fight.

He needed a cup of coffee to calm his nerves. He needed to call Seto, if only to hear his voicemail. He needed the comfort of his lover's baritone voice-he refused to think in terms of exes-he would even weather another argument. He knew they could get beyond this. It would take work, but he knew in his gut that they both believed it was worth it. Spying a coffee shop, he pulled the car over in the first parking space he came upon and soon found himself nursing a latte, staring at his cell phone on the worn Formica table in front of him, gathering up the nerve to dial the telephone number that had become so familiar to him in the past months. It couldn't be over, he convinced himself. They had worked too hard for this, put too much of themselves on the line to make the relationship work just to call it quits. He had to get through to Seto and set things straight.

He took a deep breath and hit his call history to find Kaiba's number, and pressed 'send.' He smiled to himself, thinking about how irksome the brunet found it that he'd never managed to set up an address book for the phone. He couldn't understand how Jounouchi could just rely on his ten-call history, or his memorization skills. It was one of the myriad idiosyncrasies that they overlooked in each other. For his part, it was beyond him that Kaiba required his clothing to be arranged in his closets by color and then in order of shade, from lightest to dark. He found that level of organization rather anal.

As Kaiba's telephone rang, Jounouchi sensed, no he knew, that something was amiss in his environment. He glanced at the customers around him, trying to pinpoint the source of his malaise, his eyes landing on two young men who'd walked in seconds before. His street sense told him immediately that they were up to no good. They were both hunched into long raincoats, despite the weather being sunny and warm, and their eyes darted about nervously appraising the other patrons.

He was delivered into Kaiba's voicemail, and after the terse greeting, he managed to say, "Set, I was wrong about everything, and ... and now I have to go-" He said hurriedly and hung up the phone quickly as all hell broke loose.

"Okay everyone, listen up an no one gets hurt!" Jounouchi heard the woman in the booth behind him cry out in terror as both kids-he imagined they weren't older than fifteen-pulled out what looked to be semi-automatic pistols from within the recesses of their coats "Everybody SHUT UP AND LISTEN!"

Jou could sense the agitation in the young assailant's voice, and knew immediately that he was nervous. He waved the gun about wildly, while his partner swung his from patron to patron. When it trained on him, he held his breath, but noticed that the kid wasn't holding it steady, the muzzle was shaking all over the place, he hazarded a glance up toward the boy's face, the fear he saw there confirmed his suspicions; the kid was terrified. All in all, that was a bad thing, Jounouchi thought. Their nervousness would mean that if either of them felt threatened, they would probably do something stupid.

"Take all your valuables off and out of your pockets and leave them in front of you." The more composed one continued. Jounouchi lowered his eyes, and drank in descriptions of them as he removed his watch and laid it next to his cell phone. They both had slight builds that were covered in the raincoats and nondescript jeans. The one in charge was about four centimeters taller than his accomplice-Jounouchi estimated that he stood at 170 centimeters. Rather short, but size really didn't matter when it was backed up with a piece. His hair was cut in a razor-shag, and the ends had been bleached blond. The other kid's unkempt hair was black, and it looked as if it were growing out of a child's haircut. He couldn't see any scars or tattoos on either of them, but there wasn't too much skin available for viewing. He imagined they were gang initiates, and this was a test-nothing else could account for a brazen armed robbery in broad daylight.

He took his keys and wallet from his pockets and laid them on the table. His heart was beating madly in his chest and he focused on remaining as calm and compliant as possible. He didn't want to be singled out as a threat. He concentrated on his surroundings. The shop had been near-deserted. Besides the girl who'd served him, who was now cowering behind the counter, there was an older man, probably in his thirties, a blue-collar worker, Jou surmised by his dress, and the woman behind him along with a toddler boy. He and the other man locked eyes, and Jou read into that gesture that he was prepared to act if Jounouchi did.

The boy behind him, sensing the tension in the air, began to cry loudly.

"Shut that fucking brat up now!" The one in charge ordered to his accomplice. The other boy strode towards the terrified woman, his gun carelessly aimed. He grabbed her by the hair and pulled her out of the booth forcefully.

"Please don't hurt my baby," Jou heard her sob softly. They were right next to him, and keeping his eyes averted, he glanced at her trembling body.

With his mother no longer next to him, the boy began to keen in earnest. Jounouchi willed the boy quiet, knowing it was futile. The poor child was in a full-blown tantrum.

"Just let them go," Jounouchi barked harshly. Immediately the butt end of the pistol smashed against the side of his face. Before he fully recovered, he was staring intimately into the muzzle.

"Wanna die, motherfucker?" The boy hissed, as he grabbed Jou's valuables and dropped them into a sack. Jou shook his head slowly and deliberately. It dawned on him that this could have an ugly ending. He vowed to himself that if he made it out of this situation alive, he would make amends to his parents, and to Kaiba. He wanted to live if only to set everything right.

He was vaguely aware that the leader had taken up residence at the door, and now the other male patron was between him and Jou. The accomplice had ordered the young mother to collect the money out of the cash register. As she reluctantly moved away from her son, the boy's screams grew louder still. "That's it! I've had enough of this!" The younger boy cried. Jounouchi heard the safety click off the gun as the boy swung it around toward the toddler. Without thinking, the blond launched himself at the boy. As they clattered to the floor together, he heard the gun spray a couple of rounds, and prayed they missed their target. Then, as if in slow motion, as he struggled for control of the gun, he heard several more shots ring out. The accomplice went still, and Jounouchi realized that the boy had been hit by at least one of the bullets that had been aimed their way, he looked up to see the other male patron wrestling the gun out of the hand the other boy's grasp. He rolled off the accomplice, thanking his lucky stars that he was unhurt, but suddenly he felt a burning sensation course through his back and chest. He found it was becoming incredibly difficult to breathe, and as he rubbed his hand across his chest to find the source of the burning sensation, he was mildly surprised to feel wetness there. With some trepidation he raised his hand to his face, only to see it drenched in his own blood. He closed his eyes, suddenly inconsolable that there were so many things that he'd left unsaid. He hoped that Aiko would be able to find her way in life.

He opened his eyes again, but his vision was dimming. The woman whose boy he'd defended was crouched next to him, she was holding his hand in hers, it felt warm and full of life. "Arigato," she wept over and over, then asked, "Is there anyone I should call?" His breaths were coming in shallow gasps, and he felt he couldn't get enough oxygen. He heard the distant whine of sirens, and slowly made the connection that they were drawing near.

He gripped her hand, and she bent her head to bring her ear close to his mouth. "Domino University Hospital," he managed to whisper before his world went black.

***

Kaiba sat impotently in the waiting room; knowing that somewhere in the bowels of the hospital doctors were working feverishly on saving Jounouchi's life and there was nothing that he could do to help.

No matter how he turned the situation over in his mind, he knew in his heart that this was all on him. If he hadn't escalated their argument, Jounouchi would not have been at that coffee shop at that particular moment. No, that wasn't true. If he'd been honest with his lover from the beginning, there would have been no argument. Though the reality was that he'd had the best intentions, nothing had been worth this tragic outcome.

Around him families were acting out their own dramas; he felt removed from them all. He could only focus on his family of two, which had been about to become three, and the tenuous thread that was life and how its trajectory could be so altered by split-second decisions made in the heat of the moment with no thought to the consequences.

To his surprise, it had been Honda who'd finally answered Jounouchi's cell. It was the third time he'd called, the first two times he'd been put through to voicemail after four rings, and when Honda had answered the third time, the CEO had been beside himself with worry.

"Put Katsuya on," he'd hissed, not giving a second thought to how odd it was that Jou wouldn't be answering his own phone.

"Kaiba-san, I can't do that-"

It was something in Honda's voice, and the way he formally addressed the CEO that brought him up short. "Honda, what is it? Tell me now!" Kaiba heard the static of police radios in the background and garbled voices of people talking excitedly.

"I can't." Honda's voice broke. "I can only tell you to go to Domino University Hospital, and that ..." His voice trailed off and Kaiba held his breath as a coldness swept over his body. "Look," he said hurriedly, "It's bad, but he's alive. I have to go now." Before Kaiba could ask anything else, the line went dead.

He didn't recall much after the phone conversation. He vaguely remembered barking something into the telephone to his brother as he'd gathered his belongings. He couldn't remember if Mokuba had said he would meet him at the hospital, or if he would tell Yugi what was going on.

Once at the hospital Kaiba had run into Honda, who'd accompanied the unconscious Jounouchi in the ambulance. Honda had grabbed him into a bear hug-at first unable to speak-he'd only been able to cling to the taller man. Kaiba had found himself unconsciously reciprocating. When Honda pulled away, he was finally able to fill Kaiba in on the details of what had happened before he called Jounouchi's father and mother and then left; his partner had arrived to drive him back to the precinct to file a report. Kaiba grimaced at the thought of having to deal with his lover's parents on top of everything else. His eyes narrowed and he called his lawyer. There was no way that either of them was going to get legal control of Jounouchi's affairs.

Apparently his lover was a hero, but Kaiba found small comfort in that knowledge. He would give anything to turn back the hands of time to their argument. Instead of sending Jounouchi away, he would have grabbed him and crushed him in an embrace. He would have agreed that he'd been wrong to take action without consulting Jou, and together they would have gone and collected Aiko from the wretched orphanage. His heart sunk like a stone as he wondered what would happen to Aiko now. He couldn't think about that, he could only concentrate on remembering how to breathe and willing Jounouchi to find the strength to pull through whatever ordeal he was facing.

Jounouchi's voicemail echoed in his mind, causing waves of guilt to wash over the brunet. He was sick that his lover had apologized, because as he analyzed their argument he found himself not only understanding why Katsuya had been so pissed, but agreeing that he'd had every right to be angry. If the tables had been turned, his knew his reaction would probably have been far more acrimonious. He snorted at that thought, because he ~had~ been far more bitter. He'd immediately gone on the offensive under the blond's onslaught. And his offensive tactics were simply to firestorm his opponent, to capitalize on his Achilles heel and obliterate him.

He looked up to see his brother and Yugi approaching him. Mokuba's face was a mask of pain. Kaiba stood to greet his brother, only to be engulfed by him. "Seto, he's gonna be alright. He has to." He looked beyond his brother into Yugi's mournful eyes.

"Kaiba, have you heard anything yet?" He asked softly. The brunet shook his head.

"All I know is that he's in surgery." He replied disconsolately. Yugi laid his hand on the taller man's shoulder.

"You aren't alone in this." Kaiba's ex-rival averred. Overwhelmed, the CEO could only nod before he fell back heavily into the chair to continue his vigil. Yugi and Mokuba took up positions on either side of him.

"I spoke to Kimura Midori, she will handle the press." Mokuba informed him. Kaiba felt a great flood of relief. He knew that the Kaiba Corps. head of public relations was masterful at keeping the media at bay. And it was a certainty that Jounouchi's deeds would be all over the news in a matter of hours.

"I called our personal attorney ... I don't want Katsuya's parents involved with his treatment options or-"

"You don't have to worry about that. Jou gave Shizuka power of attorney."

"He what?"

"You didn't know?" Mokuba stared at him, surprised.

Kaiba shook his head. "No we didn't discuss that. Tanaka will know what to do about Aiko. Katsuya had just signed the adoption papers." His voice broke. Tanaka and his secretary would be lucky to be alive by the time he was through with them. Mokuba's hand covered his own cold one and the heat was shocking. Mokuba felt so vibrant and alive, he felt numb, dead. "Where's Shizuka?" He mumbled.

"S-she's in with Jou." Mokuba replied softly. "I don't know if she's doing anything, but he's not alone."

"Do you think I should call someone? The Chief of Staff?" Kaiba asked. He hated himself for feeling so unsure, but he needed to make sure that they were doing everything for Katsuya.

"I think the best thing we can do is wait for Shizuka. She'll know what he needs." His brother replied.

Kaiba looked up to see Jounouchi's parents. His mother's eyes were red-rimmed and his father's face was gaunt and ashen. He smirked to himself, thinking how tragedy made all of life's problems fade into insignificance. Here two people who'd barely talked in recent years, let alone had been unable to spend much time civilly together in the same room, were standing hand in hand. Maybe there was hope for he and Jou-if Katsuya held on. He grimaced and bit back a sob at that thought.

"Any news?" the older man asked gruffly, running his hands through his tousled hair. Kaiba appraised him, noticing for the first time how much Jounouchi looked and acted like his father. Before he could answer, Mokuba stood up and lead his future in-laws to two chairs that were now available.

"We're waiting to hear, Jounouchi-san. Shizuka is with him in surgery." Mokuba reported.

Kaiba stood. "I need some air," he stated to no one in particular. He could not be with Jou's parents, knowing how difficult their relationship was with his lover. He couldn't sit there and pretend that they were good parents, loving parents, when he knew otherwise.

"Do you want some company?" Yugi asked.

"No, I need to go somewhere quiet," he said hurriedly, feeling the warning signs of a panic attack. It didn't really surprise him, and he laughed bitterly to himself.

There was a non-denominational chapel across from the waiting room. He slipped into it, thankful that the space was empty. He slid into a pew and hunched over, willing himself to regulate his breathing. He felt an arm placed lightly over his shoulders, and the brunet jumped in surprise.

"It's okay Seto," his brother soothed. Kaiba swallowed hard.

"Mokuba, go back to Shizuka's parents. I need to be alone. I don't want you here." He glanced over and saw the hurt look in Mokuba's eyes, and then something else-defiance.

"No Seto, you are not doing this alone. I'm here for you now, just like you've always been there for me."

"You don't understand," he said shakily.

"Don't understand what?" Mokuba snapped. "That this is what family does for each other?"

He couldn't do this, not right now. Not when he was unsure Jounouchi was going to make it, not when he felt he couldn't get enough oxygen. But sending his brother away reminded him too much of the way he'd rebuked Jounouchi, and as fucked up as he knew his thinking was, he couldn't lose Mokuba too. So he nodded and let his brother offer him some comfort.

"Seto, you've always been strong for me," Mokuba said softly. "Big brother," he said, slipping into his childhood nickname. "You've given me everything, please let me be here for you now." He looked away from Mokuba then, tears sliding down his cheeks.

"He's going to be okay, he has so much to live for. He loves you too much-"

"Stop it Mokuba, I broke up with him."

"You-"

"It's my fault all this happened. I interfered with the adoption. I made it so he could adopt Aiko and he found out."

"Seto," Mokuba said calmly after thinking about what his older brother had said. "I-I ~know~ if you interfered, you were only trying to help! And Jou must know that too!"

He smiled weakly at his brother, his champion and defender. "You're right, but I should have told him and I didn't. Instead he found out ... never mind how he found out, it's unimportant."

"Then, how did you find out what happened to Jou? Did he call you?"

"No-yes. He called me and left me a voicemail apologizing. But he said he had to go. It must have been when ..." His voice trailed off as his imagination flashed gruesome images of his lover being shot. "He must have hung up the phone because of the robbery. Honda was the one who finally answered it."

Mokuba hugged him tightly, and Kaiba realized the panicky feelings had passed. "See, he knew he was wrong."

"Mokuba, he wasn't the only one who was wrong. If I'd been honest with him, none of this would have happened. We would be home with Aiko right now."

He wept openly then. "I can't lose him Mokuba, not after we've finally found each other. I hate myself right now more than I ever have, more than when-"

"Stop it Seto! You have no reason to hate yourself! People argue, they do things, say things they don't mean all the time. "You used to tell me how much you hated Gozaburo-"

"Don't say ~his~ name," Kaiba barked angrily. "I will ~always~ hate him."

"No," Mokuba shook his head. "I saw you cry when he was buried. I know you were angry at him because he was mean-"

Kaiba laughed harshly. "They were tears of joy." He saw the look of shock and horror on his brother's face, and he wondered how Mokuba would feel if he told him the truth. Would he pity his poor older brother, would he be overwhelmed with guilt? Did it matter anymore? His secret was killing him. "Gozaburo wasn't mean, Mokuba. He was a rapist."

Mokuba sat staring at him in stunned silence. He stared back evenly at his younger brother, watching carefully for any tip off that he understood just who Gozaburo raped.

"You?" He said in disbelief, that turning to horror when Kaiba nodded his head. "I-I didn't know-" The younger man launched himself into his brother's arms. "I-I'm sorry-"

Kaiba held on to him tightly. He felt as if he'd been holding his breath for years and had suddenly remembered how to breathe. "Of course you didn't. I didn't want you to know." Mokuba was crying now. "Mokie," he said softly, his nose buried in his brother's ebony locks. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I can't help it. When-how?"

"It was only once-"

"Don't say 'only'" He admonished.

"I think after it happened, he was frightened of me." Kaiba mused.

"I remember that night." Mokuba said finally. "I heard him screaming at you, and I hid in my closet. I fell asleep there, and when you found me in the morning you told me that everything was going to be all right. I didn't understand what you meant at the time ... but after that ... I missed your smile."

"It's over though, and it happened a long time ago." Kaiba said softly. "I don't know why I couldn't tell you about it before. It seems so silly and unreasonable now."

"I understand why. You thought you had to be strong for me. But what you've told me now ... Seto, you are the strongest person I know."

The chapel door banged open suddenly. "Mokuba? Kaiba-san?" Shizuka strode in, Bakura Ryou close behind, and behind him, Yugi and Jou's parents. Kaiba, noting their blood-spattered scrubs, realized that Ryou had been in the operating room too. It took him several seconds to comprehend that Ryou was addressing him.

"When Jounouchi-san" the snowy-haired began formally before his soft voice broke. He took a moment to compose himself before continuing. "Jou was brought into the emergency room with two medium-caliber gunshot wounds to the torso. He was unconscious and bleeding severely. We stabilized him before he was brought up to surgery." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Fortunately both bullets missed his major organs and arteries, but he had lost a lot of blood. He hasn't regained consciousness, so it is too early to tell the extent of any damage."

"Is he going to make it?" Yugi asked.

Ryou turned toward his friend, but his eyes remained locked with Kaiba's. "It's touch and go. He's stable now ... but we did lose his pulse a couple-two times. The first 24-hours are crucial. If he makes it through them, then the prognosis for recovery is much better.

"Full recovery?" Kaiba asked softly.

"When he wakes up we'll be able to assess that." Shizuka replied.

"Can I-can we see him?" Kaiba turned to her. He could see the worry etched on her face.

"No, he's still in recovery. He'll be there for a while. There's no reason to stay here, he won't be moved for several hours, and the earliest you could expect to see him in ICU is tomorrow morning." She said, her voice belying her emotional exhaustion. Mokuba took her into his arms. "I will stay overnight with him. If he wakes up, I will call you."

Ryou continued, "Once Jounouchi was stabilized, the surgery went well. We were able to remove the bullets and fragments, and repair the tissue damage. Only time will tell if his body is strong enough to pull through. " His voice broke but he turned, talking directly to Kaiba, laying his hand on the brunet's arm. "I will say this from personal experience. Jou has too much to live for to give up without a fight, Seto. I've never seen him happier than he's been in the past few weeks. He will fight tooth and nail for that." Kaiba nodded wordlessly.

"Kaiba-kun," Shizuka addressed him. "You need to pick up Aiko and bring her home. She can't stay at the orphanage waiting for my brother to get better. Katsuya gave me power of attorney if he became incapacitated, but he named you Aiko's legal guardian."

"He what? He never discussed this with me." Kaiba replied, bewildered.

"He told me what he was going to do. I don't think ... he never expected that we'd need to assume these roles." She reached for him, and he hugged her close. He could feel her body shaking, she was crying silently. "He didn't want to burden me and Mokuba with a child when we were just starting out our life together, and he knew you would love her and take care of her ... the same way you did Mokuba."

 

After what seemed hours, Kaiba was finally on his way to the orphanage. Tanaka, cowed by his employer's rage and insistence that his secretary pay for her indiscretion, had explained Kaiba's legal standing to the orphanage, and had also handled meting out punishment to his secretary. Kaiba had managed to satisfy his thirst for revenge by getting the woman fired for her indiscretion and forcing her to sign papers to the effect that she would not divulge to anyone the nature of her removal. If she went to the media, she was warned that she would be prosecuted for breach of client-lawyer privilege.

The orphanage had Aiko ready and waiting to be picked up by Kaiba. He didn't know how to begin to tell the little girl what had happened. He stared unseeing out the tinted window of his limousine, feeling more alone than he'd ever felt in his life. He didn't believe in prayer-he was a man who made things happen-he'd never asked for divine intervention, but he did strike a bargain to no one in particular. If, no, ~when~ Jounouchi Katsuya recovered, he vowed he would spend the rest of his life making this up to the blond.

***

Kaiba woke up slightly disoriented. Glancing around the bedroom, he realized he'd fallen asleep in Aiko's narrow bed. Sunlight streamed in through gauzy curtains, warming the soft pink and lavender pastels that dominated the room. He didn't remember falling asleep, certainly hadn't expected to be able to last night. He stretched slightly, and felt Aiko's small body curled against his side. He gazed down at her jet-black hair in wonderment, unable to fathom her reaction to Jounouchi's predicament. Perhaps, he thought, she didn't fully grasp its gravity.

When he'd collected her from the orphanage, he'd explained to her in simple terms that Jounouchi had been in an accident and was in the hospital. He explained that Jou was asleep at the moment and would be for a while, but when he woke up they would go and visit him. He could tell from her downcast eyes that the news bothered her, but she'd been remarkably stoic in her acceptance of the situation. She seemed unperturbed that Jounouchi had not been able to meet her as he'd promised.

They'd traveled home in silence and had eaten a simple dinner. Later Kaiba had drawn a bath for her and watched her play in the enormous tub, her squeals and giggles serving as a balm for his aching heart. Afterwards, he'd lain next to her in her bed and read her several stories, watching her eyelids droop further and further. As he'd gotten up to leave, she'd called out to him.

"Daddy Set, please don't leave me alone. I'm scared." She'd cried plaintively.

"I'll stay until you fall asleep." He assured her. "There's nothing to be frightened of here though. You're perfectly safe." He climbed into the bed next to her and hugged her. "Tell me, what are you afraid of?"

"I'm afraid that my old daddy is going to find me and hurt me." He hugged her tightly.

"That's not going to happen, ever. He's in prison, somewhere that he will never be able to hurt you."

"What if he gets away?"

"I would protect you, Daddy Jou would protect you. No one is ever going to hurt you." His words had seemed to calm her down and he'd watched her drift off to sleep.

She stirred in her sleep, clutching her stuffed cat tighter to her body and further burrowing against him. He caressed her silky hair, thinking absently that he should go turn on the TV and catch up on the business news, but at the same time dreading it, knowing that Jounouchi's heroics would be all over the news by now.

He'd managed to cocoon himself against the onslaught of the media and nosy business acquaintances; he'd had all his calls forwarded to an answering service, the only ones that were to be put through were any from Mokuba or Shizuka. But he knew that it was only temporary. He needed to pull himself together to face the media for his own good, and for the Kaiba Corp. bottom line. He'd been CEO long enough to know how skittish shareholders could be if they sensed there was a weakening in the company, and the price of shares would drop like a stone if it was suspected that he had been in any way incapacitated. But the last thing he wanted to do was go into the office.

"Daddy?" Aiko's soft voice cut through his musings.

"Good morning."

"I want to see Daddy Jou."

"I told you ... sweetie, we can see Daddy Jou after he wakes up." Suddenly Aiko burst out in tears.

"I wanna see DADDY NOW!" She threw a tantrum on the bed, and finally burying her head in her arms, between great heaving sobs, she repeated the sentence over and over. Kaiba rubbed her back soothingly. Inside, he felt the same way-he wanted to see Katsuya too.

After her sobbing had subsided into dry heaves, she said in a very small voice, "They took Mommy to the hospital an' she never came home. Th'policeman said I could see her when she woke up." Tearfully, Kaiba gathered her into his arms and rocked her slowly the way he used to rock Mokuba when he'd been upset. Her words took him back to the pain of his own childhood when he had been orphaned. His father went to work one day, never to come home. He didn't have a chance to say goodbye because his relatives had thought he was too young to understand. He remembered dimly how they'd tsked when his father had taken him to see his mother before she passed away. Now years later, he was profoundly grateful that his father had allowed him that moment, and bitterly angry that he'd not been allowed to see his father. He knew he had to take her to see Jounouchi, to prove to her that Jou was still alive, and let her see him-he inhaled sharply-let her see him in case he didn't survive.

"Okay, I'll tell you what." He said finally. "Let's get you dressed and then have some breakfast. I'll call Aunt Shizuka and find out when we can see Daddy. She stayed with him last night and promised to call me when he woke up. I'm sure she won't mind if we call her." Suddenly he was relieved, realizing that since he hadn't heard from his future sister-in-law, it meant that Jou had made it through the night. It was a small victory but a victory nonetheless. "Does that sound good to you?"

In reply, Aiko simply nodded her head and threw her arms around his neck.

 

At first Shizuka had been adamant about not allowing Aiko in. Hospital policy permitted no visitors under 8, and Jounouchi was not out of the woods yet. But after Kaiba had related Aiko's story to her, she'd agreed that it would probably be best to let the little girl see him. She left it up to Kaiba to convince the administrators to bend the rules. That had been easy enough for the brunet to do. Money didn't solve everything, but it certainly greased the wheels of progress.

They met Shizuka and Mokuba in a family area outside the ICU. She was pale and drawn, and Kaiba noted that his brother didn't look well rested either. Aiko remained plastered to his side, one hand firmly inserted in his, fingers gripping tightly to his hand, the other clutching her ever-present cat.

"How is he?" Kaiba asked, after they'd hugged each other.

"He's stable. His vitals are looking slightly better. The chief of trauma was in to visit him on rounds a few minutes ago; they've given him some meds to induce a deep coma. He thinks it will be better to let Jou's body heal itself for a couple more days."

"So, he thinks he'll be okay?" Kaiba asked hopefully.

"He thinks he's going to recover," Shizuka said measuredly, "But we won't know how full the recovery might be until he wakes up."

"But the bullets didn't hit any major organs ..."

"That's true, Kaiba-kun, but he lost a lot of blood."

"And?" He knew what she was getting at before the words spilled out.

"And ... his brain may have been deprived of oxygen. We need to assess his brain functioning when he comes out of the coma." His chest felt heavy as he imagined what it would be like if Jounouchi woke up and was ... different. An immense sadness filled him as he realized that all their hopes and dreams might have been dashed in the flash of the muzzle of a gun. He thought about the triggerman sitting in prison, his accomplice barely hanging on to life by a thread, and his own lover, who might awaken a different person altogether. He couldn't believe the utter senselessness of it all. Shizuka saw the distant look in his eyes. "Seto, it's only a possibility ... we have to believe that when he wakes up he will be fine." She smiled then, but her eyes were filled with tears.

"Can we see him?" He asked hoarsely, his mouth suddenly dry. Shizuka nodded and she led Kaiba and Aiko into the ICU ward. Kaiba picked the little girl up in his arms.

Jounouchi was in the bed facing the nursing station, which Kaiba knew to be the bed reserved for the most gravely ill. He looked terribly pale under the oxygen mask, but Kaiba could see an angry bruise spread across one of his cheeks. Wires and tubes snaked from his body to various machines that beeped at irregular intervals. Aiko wrapped her arms around Kaiba's neck and buried her head against it.

"It's okay honey," Kaiba whispered to her. "All those tubes and wires are helping the nurses make sure that Daddy is okay." He brought her to the heart monitor screen. "You see, that bumpy line is his heartbeat. It's beating strong ... it's a good sign. Then he showed her the IV. "And here Daddy's getting food so he won't be hungry, and medicine to take the hurt away. You see, there's nothing to be afraid of. Daddy's going to be all right." As he said the words to Aiko, ~his~ daughter, he tried to believe them himself.

"Can I kiss him?" She asked.

Kaiba smiled at her, "Of course you can." He set her down and then boosted her up on the metal rail of the bed. She leaned over and planted a kiss on Jounouchi's forehead.

"Daddy, I want Rini to stay with you until you wake up." She said, leaving the cat by Jounouchi's shoulder.

Kaiba felt tears well in his eyes. She was such a remarkable child to be so composed through all this. "I think Daddy will be happy when he wakes up, Aiko. He'll know you came to visit him when he was asleep." He helped her down from the bed and she moved to stand by Shizuka.

He grasped Jounouchi's limp hand and squeezed it gently before leaning over and kissing him on the forehead. "I'm sorry too," he whispered to his unconscious lover.

Shizuka put her hand on his back. "Mokuba told me about the fight, Seto. I know my brother, and I'm sure he knew you were only trying to help."

"Yeah, and look what good it did." He said harshly.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You can't predict the future, and you couldn't know this would happen. I know somewhere in the city there are a few families grateful that my brother was there. He saved a lot of lives."

Kaiba nodded. "But at what cost, Shizuka?"

"The price he was willing to pay. Do you think he would have had it any other way? Do you think he would have been able to live with himself if he'd done nothing and watched that little boy die?"

He'd had no choice at that point, Kaiba thought, because they wouldn't have stopped there. The thieves would have left no witnesses.

Aiko placed her hand in his and looked up at him. "It's okay Daddy Set, Daddy Jou is going to be okay."

"That's what we have to believe. But we should let Daddy rest now." He looked down into her wide jet eyes and smiled weakly. He glanced back at Jounouchi lying motionless in the bed, the only indication he was alive were the machines that beeped and hummed around him.

"I'm going to shower and then get to work," Mokuba said when they arrived back at the waiting area.

"I'll be in later." Kaiba replied dully.

"No, you should stay with Aiko." Mokuba smiled at the little girl and tousled her hair. "You look beautiful, sweetie." She stepped behind Kaiba's leg, allowing him to shield her. "Yugi and I can handle things for a couple of days. You will need to make a statement, though."

Kaiba nodded. Besides the TV media, he'd seen that Jounouchi's feat had made the front page of the Domino Times. He knew that eventually he would need to speak publicly about Jounouchi's condition. In the meantime, they would circle the wagons to protect his and Aiko's privacy, but Kaiba knew that meant bringing Jou's parents on board. He hated that thought. He neither trusted nor respected either one.

"Have you talked to Shizuka's parents?"

Mokuba looked away. "Yes, they should be here already. They've agreed not to talk to the media, but you know all bets are off if Jou's father starts drinking."

Kaiba sighed. That kind of spectacle would not be good. "We need to figure out how to keep him in line." He muttered.

"Tell me about it. Shizuka says he's kind of been scared straight. She says she's never seen her parents talking like this."

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "We'll see how long ~that~ lasts."

"You must be Aiko!" Jounouchi's mother's saccharin voice rang out. Kaiba bristled as Aiko practically clawed up his leg. Fortunately, the woman backed off. "She's a shy one, isn't she though" she remarked, addressing Kaiba.

Kaiba took Aiko in his arms and instinctively she wrapped herself around him. "She's been through a lot," he grit out. He was loath to let the older woman talk to Aiko, let alone put her hands on the girl.

"How is Jou doing?" His father asked. Kaiba appraised him, and could see that he was sober, but the deep purple rings around his eyes belied that he was tired and worried.

"He's improved." Shizuka said hurriedly. "Do you want to visit for a while?" Kaiba became incensed that she would let them in to see Jounouchi.

"Before you go in," Mokuba interrupted, "We need to speak for a couple of minutes ... about the media attention this is getting. Seto and I think it's best if he makes a statement to the media."

"You do." Mrs. Kawaii said slowly.

"Yes," Kaiba interjected levelly, despite the pure hatred he felt. "Do you have a problem with that?" He wished she did. He wished she would say something, anything to justify the torrent of insults he wanted to hurl at her.

She must have sensed she was on thin ice. "No, I think that would be best. Is there anything we should say if asked?"

"You should refer them to Kimura Midori at Kaiba Corp. " Mokuba added quickly. "She's handling everything until Seto is ready to make a statement." He glanced at Kaiba, and the brunet knew his brother could tell he was spoiling for a fight. It would feel so good to focus all of his rage and impotence at the easy targets Jounouchi's parents made. But he knew that Katsuya wouldn't want that. Despite his estrangement from his parents, the blond maintained that he still loved them. And because of that, Kaiba swallowed the bitter bile that threatened to erupt from his mouth.

He turned to Jounouchi's father. "It would be helpful if you didn't get drunk and make a spectacle of yourself." He said icily. He didn't care if the older man was angered by his frankness. Where Jounouchi's mother was able to function normally to some extent, Kaiba knew his father was a train wreck, and he didn't have the energy or inclination to gloss over his alcoholism.

The older man hung his head and mumbled, "I know. I haven't had a drink in three weeks. I'm tryin' ta quit. I went to a meeting last night and again this morning instead of taking a drink." He looked up at Kaiba and the brunet was taken aback, surprised at how much his eyes looked like his son's.

Kaiba nodded smugly. "Good. If you want to be admitted into a facility, it can be arranged. I can't stress how important it is for you to stay sober right now."

"You think I don't know that? Look, I know I ain't been the best father. An' when I found out Katsuya was gay ... I didn't handle that well at all. But I love my son ..." His eyes locked with Kaiba's. "I know it sounds like a pile of horseshit to you. But I love him and I want ta be part of his life. He's made it more than clear that the only way that's gonna happen is if I clean up. This time I'm gonna do it. I'm not going to fail."

Kaiba pursed his lips. He'd heard promises like this before, and knew how susceptible they were to even the minutest pressures. "Well, fortunately for you, you may have a chance at redemption, but if you screw it up, I won't let you walk away this time. I won't stand by and watch you hurt him again." He warned, referring to the older man's behavior at Shizuka and Mokuba's official engagement party.

"Maybe it would be better to talk about this some other time," Shizuka interrupted, trying to cut through some of the tension. "I'm sure my parents would like a moment with their son." She hurriedly guided them toward the ICU. Kaiba bit back a stinging reply and watched them disappear through the unit's doors.

"Thank you." Mokuba said.

"For what?" Kaiba turned to his brother.

"For being civil. They really are trying to-"

"Mokuba, spare me. They will never be able to make it up to him for his childhood. And if ~she~ thinks she's going to worm her way into Aiko's life," he added vehemently. "She's got another thing coming."

Mokuba, knowing from experience it was impossible to reason with Seto when he was in his guardian mode, looked at his watch. "It's late, I really should be getting in to the office. Are you going to stay here?"

"No, there isn't any reason to. I'll take Aiko home and get her settled. Then I can do some work from there." Before his brother could admonish him, he added, "Mokuba, I need to keep busy until he wakes up."

***

It had been three days since the doctors at Domino University Hospital had deliberately placed Jounouchi into a coma, and though this was the day that had been the target date for his lover to awaken, Kaiba knew that it would not necessarily be the case. Still, he'd found himself short-tempered and irritated the entire day in anticipation of a phone call telling him that Jounouchi was awake and calling for him. Now, as he sipped on single malt scotch in his study, he smiled wryly to himself. What had set him on edge all day was the omnipresent worry that Jou would wake up and ~not~ want to see him. No, he thought, that was not right. What he was most afraid of was that Jounouchi wouldn't be Jounouchi when he finally did wake up-that thought terrified him-he raged indignantly against that emotion. Kaiba knew he could repair the rift that had occurred in the fight they'd had; but if Jounouchi had sustained brain damage-if that were the case, then he would find the best researchers and therapists to help Jounouchi regain as much function as possible. He took another sip and closed his eyes, mulling over the events of the last few days.

Dr. Watanabe had been a godsend. Despite her own emotional involvement, she'd scheduled Kaiba in for a face-to-face session the day after Jounouchi had ended up in the hospital, and had patiently counseled him over the phone the previous day when he'd felt that his emotions were out of control--after he'd finally made a public statement to the media. That had gone better than he'd expected. The reporters had behaved in a deferential and sympathetic manner, and had stuck to the agenda that Midori had set. Jounouchi, as Kaiba's love interest, was well liked by the media and his heroics served only to raise him in their esteem. It was rare that Kaiba was able to end a press conference amicably; this conference had been one of those occasions. But the fallout for Kaiba had been that he was forced to confront head on just how important a fixture Jounouchi had become in his life, and how lonely he was without his lover by his side.

When he'd met with Dr. Watanabe, she had been able to help him focus on the underlying emotions that were driving him and causing him to despair, and while he'd been able to keep his toxic thoughts at bay by keeping busy, after three days of non-stop action he was utterly exhausted and as equally depressed. He knew he should get some sleep, but the thought of turning in to the bed that had more often than not in recent months been shared with Jounouchi left him cold and numb.

Instead he thought about the little girl he'd been charged with caring for. Aiko had served to focus the intense feelings of abandonment and anger that had surfaced; through her he was able to alleviate the acute emotions by engaging in the mundane actions of a parent-caretaker. She'd settled easily into her new home despite Jounouchi's absence, and had taken to keeping Kaiba within eyesight at all waking hours. She would play contentedly on the floor of his office while he worked and he had found it immensely comforting to have her nearby.

It had also helped that no one seemed to blame him for the events that had conspired to place Jounouchi at that coffee shop. Dealing with his own guilt had been made all the more easier since he did not feel the need to defend his actions from Jounouchi's friends and family.

Honda had been the first to say out loud that he harbored no ill will against Kaiba, also remarking at the same time that it was so like Jounouchi to act without thought to the consequences of his actions. The brunet had maintained a vigil at the hospital when he was off-duty. When Kaiba would stop at the waiting room, Honda would hug him tightly, words seeming inadequate. Both Yugi and Yami had also voiced their own sentiments about the situation and how unfortunate the timing of all the events had been. But neither held Kaiba culpable for Jounouchi's injuries.

He finished off the scotch and then another, before checking in on Aiko on his way to his own bed, his raw emotions sufficiently anesthetized to the point where he believed he'd be able to slip into unconsciousness. He peeled off his clothes and then slid in between the silk bedding, pulling the pillow Jounouchi usually slept on close, breathing in the scent of Jou's shampoo.

 

The first thing he was aware of was a burning sensation that blossomed from just underneath his left ribcage, becoming more and more intense. It stabbed through his torso and encompassed his back. He tried futilely to open his eyes, but his eyelids were too heavy, he could not get them to budge. Gradually he became aware of his surroundings, the beeping of electronic devices, the squeaky wheel on a cart rolling by, footsteps growing louder as they approached and then diminishing as they passed him by. The pain would ebb and he would sink back into unconsciousness, and then it would intensify again, the discomfort would wake him up. He tried to call out, but for some reason he was unable to open his mouth, his muscles refused to do his brain's bidding, and he wondered vaguely if he were dreaming. Then he heard voices. They were muffled and he could not understand the words that were being spoken, and at first, though the sound of them was familiar, he could not identify their owners.

It came to him suddenly that one was his sister, Shizuka's voice he was listening to, and the other was the soft-spoken English accent of his ex-lover Ryou. Why were they here with him, here where he didn't know, and why were they unaware of his predicament. He willed his recalcitrant eyelids to open, struggling against their obstinence, until suddenly they popped open and his vision was flooded with white. He flinched and then blinked furiously at the painful brightness.

"Ryou!" Shizuka exclaimed. "He's awake!" Ryou looked up from the chart he'd been examining, and then smiled warmly at Jounouchi.

"What happened?" Jou asked hoarsely. The intensity of the pain he'd recently become aware of had increased tenfold as he'd regained consciousness.

"You've been in an accident, and you're in the hospital. Do you know your name?" Ryou asked in a serious tone.

Jounouchi looked back and forth between them, noting they both were wearing hospital attire. "Quit fucking with me Ryou, and tell me what's going on," he gasped.

"Are you in a lot of pain?" Shizuka asked, worried. Jou nodded his head. "Here," she placed a switch in his hand. "You are on a morphine drip. You can medicate yourself to scale back the pain, but you won't be able to give yourself an overdose." Jounouchi pressed the button and immediately felt relief. "Better?" Shizuka asked.

"Yes." He croaked. He closed his eyes, exhausted from the effort at keeping them open. "Tell me what happened."

"First, now that you're awake," Ryou continued softly, "We need to assess your brain functioning. I need you to answer a few questions, and then I'll be happy to answer yours. Do you understand?"

Jounouchi nodded, and then as the memory of the horrifying events inside the coffee shop flooded his mind, he implored. "Please, get Kaiba."

Shizuka touched his shoulder, and then laid Rini next to his face so that he could feel her soft fur against his cheek. "I'll call him now, you just need to answer Dr. Bakura's questions, okay?" she assured him, her voice quivering with emotion.

 

Kaiba laid the spatula down triumphantly and served a perfectly cooked cheese omelet to the patiently waiting Aiko. He'd finally been able to make an omelet to her liking, and on any day he knew that the sense of accomplishment that he felt would have been far out of proportion to the complexity of the task, but for some reason, it seemed to Kaiba that his success was an omen that things were bound to get better. On the three mornings prior he'd had to call in one of the maids to whip up an omelet for the little girl after he'd failed miserably at the task. He was reminded how effortlessly Jounouchi had moved around this kitchen, turning out meal after meal cooked to perfection without so much as breaking a sweat. Kaiba, for his part, was drenched in it.

"Honey, I'm going to take a shower, if you need anything, Kimi is in the dining room dusting." He told Aiko, referring to the housekeeper with whom he'd entrusted Mokuba to when he was still a child. Kimi had stayed on long after the Kaiba brothers no longer needed her governess services, and had remained a fixture in the Kaiba household. Aiko seemed comfortable with the matronly woman, and Kimi was more than happy to be filling in as a nanny.

Kaiba had just gotten out of the shower when his cell rang. His heart skipped a beat when he heard Shizuka's voice-she'd called to tell him Jounouchi was awake, and as he hung up the phone dumbfounded that the blond was finally awake, the realization dawned on Kaiba that Shizuka had told him that Jou had asked to see him.

 

Jounouchi lay back, resting, and grateful for the morphine drip. The pain in his side and chest was at a bearable level and he felt he could breath a bit easier. After an eternity of questions and probing, the doctors had finally determined that there was no residual damage from the gunshots and it was agreed that he would make a full recovery. He'd been moved from the ICU into a private room, and Ryou had filled him in on his injuries and what had been done to help his body heal. Jounouchi still had trouble wrapping his head around the idea that he'd been in a coma for four days, it seemed that it had been only hours ago that he'd been on the floor of the coffee shop waiting to die. That days had gone by without his being aware of the passing of time was unnerving.

Shizuka, who'd ended her shift, sat with him, assuring him that Kaiba would come to see him, and bring Aiko along with him. He's been at the hospital every day. Jou, he was beside himself. He's been worried sick!"

"And he was okay with getting Aiko and taking care of her? He didn't leave her there overnight, did he?" It hurt him that he'd broken his promise to his little girl. His daughter.

Shizuka smiled at her brother. "You trusted him enough to be her guardian. Do you think he'd be so insensitive? He went to get her as soon as he could-when he knew you'd made it through surgery-and they've been inseparable since."

He absently fondled the stuffed cat Aiko had left with him, nervously awaiting Kaiba's arrival. "And you're sure he's not mad at me?"

"God, no!" She exclaimed, "Haven't you been listening to a word I've said? He loves you, onii-san, he's tormented by guilt. He blames himself for all this."

"It wasn't his fault, Shizuka. He was right. I didn't trust him."

Shizuka shook her head in frustration. "You two really are meant for each other."

"My thoughts exactly," Kaiba's baritone echoed from the doorway.

"Daddy!" Aiko squealed, racing to the bed.

"Hi sweetie, Set." Jounouchi smiled weakly.

"Aiko, don't climb on the bed," Kaiba warned.

"S'okay. I want her to. C'mere, honey and tell Daddy what you've been up to while I was sleeping." Aiko happily rattled off the eventful days she'd had with Kaiba, a detailed recounting that Jounouchi listened to with rapt attention. Kaiba pulled up a chair and waited patiently for Aiko to finish. After she had related the story of Kaiba's adventures making breakfast for her, Jounouchi turned to his lover.

"You made her an omelet? I'm impressed." Jounouchi teased.

Kaiba smiled at him. "Even I can be domesticated."

Jounouchi, though tired, could see the love shining in the brunet's eyes. He felt a warm tingle spread over his body with the knowledge that things were going to be all right between them.

"'Zuki, can you watch Aiko for a little bit? I don't think a hospital is the best place for her to spend her last few days before school starts."

"Mokuba and I can take her clothes shopping," Shizuka volunteered, understanding that her brother wanted to spend some time alone with Kaiba. She knew they had some things to work out. "You haven't bought her uniforms yet, have you?" Kaiba shook his head. "Aiko, will you come shopping with me and Uncle Mokuba?" The little girl eyed her solemnly, and at Jounouchi's gently urging, agreed. Shizuka smiled brightly at her. "We'll even buy you some lunch, and have you back to visit Daddy before the day's over. Does that sound good to you?"

"Yes," Aiko assented in a soft voice, reluctantly climbing down from her perch on Jounouchi's bed. "Can I bring Rini?"

"Of course you can! Thank you so much for leaving her here with me, she kept me company." Jou handed her the stuffed cat.

Shizuka kissed her brother on the cheek, "I'm so glad you're back," she whispered. "I missed you so much."

"It'd take more than a couple of bullets ta keep me from walking you down the aisle," he jested.

"If I wasn't so happy to see you awake, I'd smack you for that remark, onii-san," she admonished as she gathered her belongings and clasped Aiko's hand. "We'll be back in a few hours. You two behave," she winked as she left the room with Aiko in tow.

Jounouchi closed his eyes, suddenly bone-tired. The morphine was wearing off and he clicked the button to ease the pain that was beginning to rise above his comfort level. "Set, I know we need ta talk, but I just can't do this right now." He said weakly.

"Do you want me to leave?" Kaiba asked carefully.

"No," Jounouchi reached for Kaiba's hand. "I don't want to be alone. Will you stay with me?"

Kaiba took Jounouchi's hand in his and squeezed it gently. "Of course I'll stay with you," he replied, his voice hoarse with emotion. "You rest, we can talk whenever you feel up to it."

 

Jounouchi didn't know how long he'd been asleep, but when he woke up, a tray of food had been left for him. He looked past the tray to see Kaiba's blue eyes staring intently at him.

"What?" He asked, uncomfortable under the brunet's watchful gaze.

"I've been thinking. Thinking about us."

"And?" Jounouchi swallowed hard, worried at the conclusions Kaiba might have drawn.

"And, I think we should get married."

"Married?!?" Jou snorted incredulously.

"Yes, do you think it's such a far-fetched idea?"

"But-we-" Jounouchi fiddled with the plastic top of the broth that he'd found on the tray.

"But we, what? We hardly know each other?" Kaiba challenged. "At times we know each other better than we know ourselves. I'm not asking you to marry me-you're in no condition to make that decision. But you asked me what, and I told you. Here, let me help you with that." Jounouchi obediently dropped his arms to his sides while Kaiba opened the container and then sat on the edge of the bed with it in one hand, and a spoon in the other.

"You don't hafta-"

"Be quiet and let me take care of you for once!" The brunet hissed. "You are impossibly independent, Katsuya, and I love you for it. But right now, you need my help."

He knew Kaiba was right on so many different levels, and gratefully accepted his aid. The broth tasted better than anything he could remember, and he eagerly slurped it up until it was finished. He felt much stronger afterwards.

"Yes." He said.

"Yes, what?" Kaiba asked, his brow knitted.

"If you were to ask me to marry you, my answer would be yes."

"I'll take that under consideration when I do decide to ask." The smile faded from Kaiba's face. "Do you feel like talking now?"

"Only if you'll lay next to me."

"I can't, I don't want to hurt you."

"I'll make room," Jounouchi said, gingerly sliding over in the narrow bed. "Please Set, I didn't think I'd ever see you again, didn't think I'd ever get to tell you-" he felt hot tears falling on his cheeks.

"Shhh, you didn't need to tell me anything. I was a fool to tell you to go-I don't know what I'd have done if I had lost you." He felt the prick of tears at the corners of his eyes, and let them fall freely, letting the pent-up emotions roll over him.

"Please, I need you-" Jounouchi implored, and Kaiba crawled into the slim space Jou had made for him, and lay on his side alternately kissing and stroking Jounouchi's tear-streaked face.

"I'm sorry Katsuya, I promise never to go behind your back again. But you need to understand-I only did it to help you. That is all."

"I know that. I was angry and indignant, and didn't want to believe that my worst fears were true, that I couldn't get past the errors of my youth."

"But you have. Aiko's family were gold-diggers. They were looking to make money off of her good fortune."

"And you paid them?"

"No I wouldn't do that. But I did bequest a modest amount of money to the orphanage."

"How modest?"

"Enough that they will be able to move to a more modern facility."

"Modest to you and you alone." Jounouchi grumbled, causing Kaiba to break out in a smile.

"Baka, it was a mere pittance to make your dream come true. Besides, I didn't do it just for you. Aiko deserved it just as much as you."

"We're lucky, aren't we?" Jounouchi mused.

"Yes, we are. We have each other, our family and friends."

 

Hours later, Shizuka and Mokuba returned to Jounouchi's room with Aiko, only to find their brothers both fast asleep in the bed, hands entwined.

***

Kaiba picked nervously at the lapel of the haori of his wedding kimono. The material shimmered iridescently under the incandescent light of his room-a rainbow of vibrant purples and blues and gold. Woven through the rich silk that encompassed the haori, kimono and hakama was 24 ct. gold thread. On the interior of Kaiba's haori was an exquisitely painted blue eyes white dragon on a background of sky-blue that faded into deep indigo. The indigo matched the inside lining of the kimono itself.

Somewhere nearby, he knew that Jounouchi was getting into his wedding kimono, an elaborately patterned forest green silk with bamboo fronds and sparrows, after pulling on a burnished bronze hakama. The interior of Jou's haori was a brilliant scarlet red with an equally ornate tiger painted on it. Kaiba had commissioned their wedding attire, and had chosen the tiger over Jounouchi's beloved red eyes black dragon because he already wore it on his shoulder, and the tiger's symbolism, that of protector, seemed so much more appropriate to the brunet. He fumbled nervously at his hakama-hime one last time before slipping on his geta and making his way out to the lakeside for the ceremony.

They were staying at the Akan Lodge on the shore of a volcanic lake in the Akan National Forest on Hokkaido. The area was famous for its hot springs, and the lodge had many spots where guests and visitors could bathe, both inside in cavern-like rooms and outside on the grounds, which overlooked the mountainous primeval forest.

It was a glorious fall day. The sun burned brightly in the cloudless sky and the trees that carpeted the mountains were a blaze of color. As Kaiba approached the rustic torus that stood at the lakeshore, he found that the others had already gathered there.

"Daddy!" Aiko squealed. She was a vision of miniature beauty, dressed in an opulent silk kimono of reds and golds. An intricate pattern of cranes and cattails wended around the skirt. Both Shizuka and Mokuba had opted for western attire, she in a crimson silk taffeta strapless gown with a shimmering gold wrap, and Mokuba in a lightweight black wool gabardine suit with a black and white polka dot silk vest and tie.

"I thought ya got cold feet and were gonna stand me up." Jounouchi said reproachfully, glancing down at his watch. Kaiba looked at him, his mouth suddenly too dry. Jou looked absolutely magnificent. The color of his kimono contrasted nicely with his complexion and brought out the golden flecks in his irises, and the late afternoon sun refracted off the flaxen highlights in his ever-unruly hair.

Kaiba felt his cock quicken in anticipation of their post-wedding celebration. They'd not had sex since the shooting, and he licked his lips at the thought of helping divest the blond of his clothes and making use of the hot tub waiting in their suite. He couldn't recall the last time he'd even seen Jounouchi naked. He'd only once glimpsed the angry looking scar that now marred the flawless planes of Jounouchi's back, side and chest. Not that it mattered one iota to the brunet; nothing could ever make him less than perfect in the brunet's eyes, and tonight he would make sure his blond lover knew how much he still worshipped him body and soul.

He took his place opposite Jounouchi, and clasped his hands. "Not a chance, now that I have you, I'm not letting go." he smiled wolfishly.

The ceremony was a simple exchange of vows and rings, with Mokuba and Shizuka as their only witnesses and guests. Although his relationship with both of his parents had improved substantially, Jounouchi was still skittish about spending long periods of time with them, and he didn't want this day to be tarnished by his worry that one or the other would misbehave. And in the end, after a lot of hand wringing, he'd decided that he'd rather have a very small and private ceremony without his friends to share it with, and then have a party for everyone after he and Kaiba returned from their abbreviated honeymoon. Kaiba had been more than willing to go along with Jounouchi, as the less people there were in attendance, the less likely their union would become a media circus.

The younger couple had agreed to watch Aiko and planned to fly back to Domino City after the ceremony, leaving their older siblings to a long weekend of time alone together, before they too would return back to their normal routine. For Jounouchi, that had changed substantially from the plans he'd had before the coffee shop incident. His long convalescence and recovery had meant that he'd lost the opportunity for his post-doctoral work at the Children's Hospital, but Dr. Watanabe had pulled some strings and made sure that he would be accepted there the following fall. The bright side had been that the unexpected free time had allowed Jou to further strengthen his bond with Aiko. Not only was he available to bring her to school each morning and pick her up each afternoon, but also he could volunteer to chaperone on her class trips.

To keep himself occupied, Jou had volunteered as a counselor for at-risk youths. He now worked with boys very much like the two who'd been involved in the botched coffee shop robbery. In fact, much to Kaiba's chagrin and disbelief, he'd visited both those youths in detention, vowing to help them in any way he could. The younger boy, Daisuke, would probably never walk without a limp, but he'd gotten off lucky, the bullet had missed shattering his spine by millimeters. The older boy, Sai, reminded Jounouchi of the youth he'd been before he'd met Yugi. They shared similar backgrounds-Sai's mother had died when he was very young, and his father struggled to raise him while battling alcoholism. Jounouchi knew that Sai had suffered both abuse and neglect at the hands of his father and on the street, and he had been able to arrange for the young teen to see a therapist while in detention.

Their vows said and rings exchanged, Kaiba stared hungrily into the honey eyes of his lover, every nerve in his body tingled and waves of euphoria washed over him as it dawned on him that they were now joined together in the eyes of the law. They were legally a family. The officiate shook their hands, and then Mokuba and Shizuka hugged them both, while Aiko ran circles around them all, dancing and twirling in the waning afternoon. They said their goodbyes, and Kaiba and Jounouchi retreated to the oasis of their rooms.

An intimate meal was waiting for them when they returned, along with two soft cotton yukata. Jounouchi grabbed one and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Kaiba to stare after him in confusion. The brunet shrugged it off, chalking it up to Jounouchi's self-consciousness about the new scar on his body, and slipped into the incredibly soft robe. He knelt at the tatami mat and poured them both cups of sake while he waited patiently for his newly shy lover. Paper lanterns had been placed around the perimeter of the room, and illuminated it softly in the dying light. The sun had just set behind the volcanic mountain that dominated the panoramic view the room overlooked. The hot tub was positioned in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, and he imagined the temperature would be perfectly soothing after they'd eaten their fill of the fresh sushi and sashimi that was enticingly arrayed for them to feast on.

He was becoming incredibly aroused thinking about Jounouchi, the months of abstinence further fueling his throbbing hard-on. When Jou reappeared, Kaiba intercepted him and captured his lips in a passionate kiss, and hugging Jounouchi tightly, he caressed his heated skin through the thin cotton material. The kiss lasted several minutes, as they explored each other's mouths, tongues stroking and teasing at the sensitive spots they'd each come to learn so well.

"God I want you," Jounouchi groaned.

Kaiba smiled seductively, and traced a pattern of kisses along the blond's neck and toward the opening of the yukata. His hands found the sash, only to be captured by his lover's before he could undo it and reveal the naked flesh beneath.

"No, wait. Let's eat first," Jounouchi pleaded nervously.

"Katsuya," Kaiba purred. "You don't need to be uncomfortable about your body, I love ~you~, I ~want~ you, I ~need~ you, and no scar, nothing is going to change that." He tried to loosen the sash again, only to find his hands bound in an iron grip.

"Please, it's just-" Jounouchi bit his lip. "It's just that I'm ~starving~ Set. Let's eat, an' then ... Look, we've waited this long, what's a few more minutes, ne?"

"All right," Kaiba sighed in resignation. The last thing he needed was the distracting growls of his lover's stomach interrupting their intimate moments. "Come, sit down."

They sat side-by-side feeding each other succulent pieces of the perfectly prepared fish, between furious make-out sessions. By the time Jounouchi finally lay his chopsticks down, Kaiba thought he would cum on the spot. Jounouchi stood and smiled at him, but he could still see a trace of nervousness in the blond's face.

"So ... I have a gift for you, a wedding present."

"Katsuya, you know we agreed we wouldn't exchange gifts-"

"Yeah, but that's only because I could never match anything that you would get fah me. It's nearly impossible to buy you anything. You know, you've been so patient with me, so understanding, especially when I stopped letting ya see me naked." He pulled Kaiba to a standing position. "But there was a reason for that, your present ..." He guided Kaiba's hands to the sash and nodded, "Go ahead."

He pulled at the ends and then undid the loosened knot. Jounouchi stood passively as Kaiba slipped the robe off his shoulders, and stood back to admire his lover's naked body. He breathed in sharply. Where the angry scar had been, an intricate tattoo now graced Jounouchi's torso. A tattoo of two dragons, one black, one white, intertwining bodies, tails and necks, caught in an endless embrace, both heads together, facing out as one.

He looked up into Jounouchi's nervous eyes. "It's ... It's exquisite, it's beautiful..."

"You like it?"

Kaiba laced his fingers through Jounouchi's hair and kissed him deeply. "I love it," he murmured. "I love you."

Jounouchi moaned against his neck, his hot breath sending shivers up and down the brunet's spine. Jou fumbled at Kaiba's sash, impatiently tugging at it, "This, off," he rasped, and the brunet complied, allowing the yukata to fall to the floor at his feet. "I've missed you so much, craved your touch, it was torture. But I wanted tonight," he gasped as Kaiba found a dusky nipple with his tongue and teased it lightly. "Tonight I wanted it to be like the first tiiiiiii-" He keened as teeth bit down on the sensitive nub and the other was teased lightly by Kaiba's talented hand.

He pushed Kaiba away roughly and fell to his knees, his hot mouth finding Kaiba's turgid cock, and taking it in to the base. Kaiba thrust eagerly into the sensuous warmth, and Jounouchi responded by applying suction along the entire length.

"Gods!" Kaiba cried out as he came explosively, the anticipation and then teasing had overwhelmed his ability to hold back. "I'm sorry..."

"Shhh," Jounouchi stood and placed his index finger on his lover's lips. "That's how I want you most, out of control, unable to contain your passion. It get's me so fucking hot. The things I want to do to you-"

"Do them. Show me."

"You sure?" Kaiba took Jounouchi's finger into his mouth and suckled it, watching his lover's eyes roll back from the pleasurable sensations. He nodded and then Jounouchi curled his finger and pulled the brunet toward him. "Get on the bed."

Kaiba lay down on his back, and Jounouchi climbed onto the bed next to him. He pulled the brunet into a heated kiss and then trailed kisses down his chest. Kaiba could feel his lover's weeping erection pressing against his hip. A wave of panic washed over him, and Jounouchi, sensing is lover's sudden change in attitude whispered soothingly, "If you aren't ready-"

"No, I want you. Please-"

Jounouchi tongued down Kaiba's chest paying careful attention to each erect nipple, working and worrying at them until the brunet was moaning and squirming under his touch. He slid further down the sculpted planes of Kaiba's abdomen, before teasing the tip of his semi-erect cock with playful nips. Kaiba groaned and threaded his fingers through Jounouchi's hair, willing him to continue his journey southward.

Jounouchi licked along the vein that pulsed in Kaiba's shaft, causing his cock to twitch and fully harden. "God, you have the most talented ton-" Kaiba's voice trailed off as Jounouchi bent his knees and spread his legs.

"S'okay," the blond coaxed, "We're gonna take our time with this." Kaiba stared up into the mirror that was on the ceiling above the platform bed, further aroused at the vision of Jounouchi with his head buried between his legs, one hand wrapped around his cock, which had sprung fully to attention and the other gently caressing his chest and abdomen.

Jounouchi's tongue laved the brunet's balls and then tentatively circled Kaiba's puckered anus. Sensing the tension leaving the brunet's body, he pushed the tip past the tight ring of muscles that guarded his entrance. He found the sound of Kaiba's mewls and moans incredibly arousing and erotic, and he teased the brunet with his tongue mercilessly, until he begged the blond to stop.

He bit down on the tender skin inside Kaiba's inner thigh before soothing it with licks and by softly blowing across the moistened skin. "You okay?" He asked the brunet, whose eyes were half-closed and unfocused from his ministrations. Kaiba nodded his head as Jounouchi found the lubricant the brunet had tossed on the bedside table when he'd unpacked. He slathered a generous amount on his fingers and said "Baby, I'm gonna prepare you now, it's gonna be a little uncomfortable, but I promise, if it hurts, I'll stop."

"I'll be fine," Kaiba whispered, as he felt Jounouchi finger his entrance and then gently press inside. He willed his muscles to relax as Jou slid his finger in and out.

"God you feel so good," Jou marveled as he added a second digit. Kaiba found he had a bit more trouble relaxing against the renewed pressure, but it did not hurt, and he found himself increasingly turned on by the sensation of his lover's fingers sliding in and out. Jounouchi pushed in further and, curving his fingers slightly, found and brushed lightly against the brunet's prostate.

"Gods!" Kaiba howled, and Jounouchi grinned lecherously as he tormented the brunet thrust after thrust, hitting that same spot over and over again. Kaiba bucked against his hand erratically, groaning in disappointment when Jounouchi slid his fingers completely from his channel. He hardly realized it when Jounouchi repositioned him and then buried his swollen cock deep inside his passage.

Jounouchi waited motionless while the brunet adjusted to his intrusion, but when Kaiba began to thrust against him, he could no longer hold back. He met each thrust with hungry bucks of his own, becoming more and more reassured with every thrust by Kaiba's exhortations of 'faster' and 'harder' and 'please.'

"Gods, you are so sexy, Set. I've never seen anything more beautiful than the expression on your face as I fuck you."

"Hn, you've never seen yours," Kaiba smiled, "When I'm fucking you." He gasped as Jounouchi wrapped a hand around his shaft and began to squeeze and stroke it.Waves of pleasure radiated from the dual sensations of Jounouchi's touch and being filled by him, and Kaiba found himself rushing headlong into climax, once again, unable to control his orgasm. His seed spurted across his torso. Jounouchi lay down on top of him, and wrapping his arms around the brunet's shoulders, he pulled Kaiba into a tight embrace. His mouth found the brunet's, and he dominated him in a kiss, while at the same time he drove deeply inside of him. Still absorbed in the post-orgasmic bliss of his completion, Kaiba's vision went white as Jounouchi's sex rubbed against his prostate, and he bucked involuntarily against his lover, helping him to hit that spot again and again. He felt the urgency in Jounouchi's movements and he entreated him to fuck him harder, "It ... feels ... so ... good," he rasped in rhythm to his lover's thrusts.

Jounouchi felt his belly tighten as his climax built up, and he quickened his pace, driving into his lover's body erratically as his cock swelled and pulsed. "I love you baby," he whispered hoarsely as his essence spilled deep into his lover's channel.

"I love you too," Kaiba replied as Jounouchi's movements slowed to a tender rocking before he pulled away from the brunet and collapsed next to him on the bed. They lay there exhausted, basking in the afterglow of their first sex as a married couple.

After a few minutes, Jounouchi turned on his side to face Kaiba. "You okay?"

Kaiba leveled his gaze at his lover, his life partner. "Never been better," he replied, nuzzling against the blond.

Jounouchi threw his arm protectively over the brunet. "I didn't hurt, ya, right?" Kaiba shook his head, and Jounouchi pulled him closer. "Thanks," he said. "I know that wasn't easy fah you."

"No, it wasn't that hard at all. It's all about letting go of the past, and as a matter of fact, I think I could even get used to it," he murmured.

Jounouchi kissed him on the top of his head. "So could I, Set. So could I."

_EPILOGUE_

"Happy New Year, Katsuya," Kaiba said and then kissed his partner on the cheek.

"Happy New Year," Jounouchi replied drowsily.

It had been long day, they'd just dropped Mokuba and Shizuka off at the airport where they were off to their honeymoon on a private island that Kaiba had purchased for them in Tahiti. He spared no expense when it came to his family.

Their siblings' New Year's Eve wedding and reception had gone off without a hitch-the Jounouchi parents had maintained their tenuous friendship since the shooting, and Jou's father still remained sober. Jou had even allowed both of his parents to spend time at the reception with their granddaughter, though never out of his or Kaiba's earshot. Many of the guests had been heard to remark that it was one of the most understated yet elegant affairs they'd ever attended. Kaiba had never seen his brother so happy, nor his new sister-in-law so radiant as when they'd been announced to the reception guests as husband and wife.

Aiko stirred from her position in between her parents, asking plaintively, "Are we there yet?"

"Shh, honey, we're almost home." Kaiba replied. "Why don't you lay down and go to sleep?" She crawled across their laps obediently, and Kaiba cradled her head and shoulders. Jounouchi rested against his shoulder and dozed lightly.

Kaiba smiled and listened contentedly to the even breathing of his sleeping family. It had been an incredible year of lows and highs, but as he thought back over the major events, he knew in his heart that he would gladly have lived through all the lows over and over again, as long as he was assured this outcome.

Christmas for him had been the happiest he could remember; he and Jounouchi had decided that their gift to each other would be a month's long vacation abroad during Aiko's summer vacation, and had instead showered their daughter and friends and family with presents at a pre-wedding Christmas party at the Kaiba Estate. Unbeknownst to Jounouchi, it would be both their first and last Christmas there. Kaiba had found a buyer for the emotional-laden property-- a developer set on razing the old mansion, partitioning the parcel and building three smaller estates in its place. A fitting end for the last vestiges of Kaiba Gozaburo, Kaiba mused. Once the estate was gone, nothing but the name 'Kaiba' would be left of the vast empire that Gozaburo had built. He supposed he could live with that.

The limo pulled up to a sleek tower in the heart of Domino City, and the driver came around and opened the door to the passenger compartment. "Wake up sleeping beauty," Kaiba said to his lover, as he hoisted their sleeping daughter out of the car.

"Wha? Where are we?" Jounouchi asked sleepily, staring up at the skyscraper. A doorman came out and held the door open to the elegant lobby.

"Good evening, Mr. Kaiba, Mr. Jounouchi," he said as the brunet led Jou through the door.

"Good evening to you," Kaiba acknowledged. "Come on," he urged Jounouchi, barely containing the excitement in his voice. He handed Aiko to the blond, and then took him by the elbow and led him to a banque of elevators. He produced a key from one of the pockets of his trousers, and used it to summon one of the cars. When they entered the wood-paneled car, Jounouchi noted that the only buttons available to push were 'L' and 'PH.'

"Set, what's going on?" He asked with trepidation as he felt the car move swiftly up.

"You'll see," Kaiba replied. After a few moments the car slowed and then came gently to a stop. The door opened to a marble foyer. "Come, this is it." Kaiba said, stepping out of the elevator, with Jounouchi in tow.

Jounouchi's breath caught. The foyer opened up to an expansive room, surrounded on three sides by floor to ceiling windows that offered a 180-degree view of the skyline of the city. Jounouchi could smell fresh paint and sawdust.

"Welcome home, Katsuya. I hope it meets with your approval." Kaiba turned on a switch on the wall, revealing a huge living room finely appointed in earth-toned furnishings.

"Home? We've moved?" Jounouchi stared at Kaiba open-mouthed.

"No, not yet, but we can stay here tonight if you like. I hope you're okay with it. I wanted to surprise you..."

"I love it." Jounouchi smiled, realizing that Kaiba had finally made his break with the past. "Show me Aiko's room, and then the rest of it."

They took Aiko to her bedroom, which was located across from the master suite. Jounouchi found some pajamas for her in the armoire and they changed the sleeping girl into them, and then tucked her into the huge bed. Kaiba had made sure that Rini was already there waiting for her, and she hugged the cat to her and was soon sleeping soundly. They watched her sleeping peacefully for a while before Jounouchi turned to his lover.

"Seto?"

"Hn."

"Thank you."

Kaiba shook his head. "You don't need to thank me for anything. You've made my life complete."

Jounouchi stood and faced him, "And you've completed mine." They clasped hands and Kaiba turned out the light as they left the room.

"Come," the brunet said to his lover huskily, his voice thick with desire. "You need to see our bedroom."


End file.
